Emotional Impact 2 years out

Options
13»

Comments

  • Meggy
    Meggy Member Posts: 530
    edited September 2010

    Well, I put a call into my oncologist to ask if Prozac is safe for Triple Negatives.  I want to check that it won't impact my cancer, at least as far as they know (they know so little, don't they).  I really feel I need some relief.  I will be at 3 years this coming February but the way I'm feeling, I think they anxiety level will still be very high.  Time to medicate my soul. 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • yellowdoglady
    yellowdoglady Member Posts: 349
    edited November 2010

    Hi All:

    I'm at my two year and feeling pretty good.  That could be because I had a huge scare at a year and a half when I cracked a rib and there was a lot of worry that the beast had gone to my bones.  I was told at the time that by that year-and-a-half mark, half of those with TNBC who will have a recurrence already have done so.  Fortunately, my issue turned out to be just a cracked rib and the PET/CT didn't show anything else suspicious.  My two year mammogram two weeks ago looked perfect.  I know I won't start to relax until I'm three years out, but I figure that every month I stay healthy is just that much closer to living happily ever after.  I also find some peace in knowing that having had this "heads up" I am taking the opportunity to make every day count.  That's more than most folks who are hit by a bus can say.

       

          

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Meggy
    Meggy Member Posts: 530
    edited November 2010

    Yellowdoglady, it is so true that after a scare that turns out to be nothing you feel so much better.  I didnt realize how much I had worried that my aching body was bone mets.  Finally I got a bone scan and it was perfectly clear.  Now I feel so cured again.  I think the fact that they don't routinely scan us is part of the two year freak out.  Now I am really close to 3 years (just 2 months to go!) and I feel so much better.....really all due to that clear bone scan.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • gcpommom
    gcpommom Member Posts: 883
    edited December 2010

    I just hit my 2 year mark this week.  I must say, I have been so stressed lately, and am relieved to read that it's not just me.  I have scans next week, my first 'real' scans since dx (I had CT of lungs due to clots, so I do know the lungs are ok).  Now I feel more stressed, 'scanxiety' I guess.  I scheduled the scans so I could relax and be able to say, "yes, I am NED", but now I'm worried they will find something...

    I am TN, but of a different, rare type called Metaplastic.  Very little is known about it, so I just follow the standards that apply to TNBC.  I do know that one difference is that MPBC does not travel via the lymph nodes, but via the blood, so I don't know if that changes the timeline for recurrance. 

    I take xanax, but very very little since I don't want to feel more tired than I already do.  Some days I don't take any at all.  I am thinking about seeing someone for counseling and possibly a different type of med, since I worry about the effect of all this stress on my body, too.  I haven't been able to return to work, since I am too scared now that it has been so long, and I worry that I won't feel well, or have an anxiety attack.  I am a substitute teacher, and being responsible for 20+ children in my current state just makes me nervous.  Not working after 2 years makes me feel lazy, and then I feel worse about myself.  The whole darn thing just stinks, and I want to be myself again.

    I am glad I found this thread, and your words make me feel better and not so alone.  I am always the 'strong one' with the good outlook for my family, but inside I'm a mess : (

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Meggy
    Meggy Member Posts: 530
    edited January 2011

    gcpommom, I just read your post that your CT and bone scans were clear...how are you feeling emotionally? Do you find that you feel so much better after getting this news?

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • LRM216
    LRM216 Member Posts: 2,115
    edited January 2011

    I am so glad that we have this thread!  I have been more antsy than ususal regarding my triple neg and wrote it off to the several recurrences of a few fine ladies on the TNBC Board that were diagnosed a few months later than I, and then, of course, the recent deaths of CarynRose and Angelsabove.  Now I realize, while all that I just wrote has indeed had a profound effect on me, I am also approaching my two years since diagnose this coming February.  Now it all adds up for me as to why I am feeling this way, when a few months ago, I was not.  Amazing just how powerful our sub-conscious really is!  

    I hope this post finds each and every one of you healthy and happy.

    Linda

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Meggy
    Meggy Member Posts: 530
    edited March 2011

    So true Linda....but when you get to even 2 years, 9 months, you start to feel differently.  When I hit 3 years, my psyche completely changed.  First let me go and knock on some wood....OK done....somehow now I just feel so cured.  I feel that such a huge weight was lifted off of me.  Just got tired of the intense worry and let go of it at the 3 year point (and I am a natural worrier).  3 years is just such a blessing. Feels like a whole new life. 

    Meg

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Titan
    Titan Member Posts: 2,956
    edited March 2011

    Thanks Meg!  I'm 2 years out in 12 days..I feel good about that..I've been looking up studies (I know, I know..shouldn't do that)..it seems that 3 years is great..but even 30 months out isn't too bad...just trying to hang in there for one more year...

    Actually, I have been breathing a little easier knowing it is 2 years...I just feel that with tn the further you are out..the better.I'm hanging on to that...

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • tibet
    tibet Member Posts: 545
    edited March 2011

    i am 30 months out. Titan, based on what you looked up studies, you said 30 months out isn't bad. Could you pls let me know what the studies say for 30 months out? thanks

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Titan
    Titan Member Posts: 2,956
    edited March 2011

    newalex..it is a study that I carry around with me..it is a chart which compares tns to er-pr positive ladies...the chart has us tn's chance of mets very high the first year compared to the positive..after one year it starts to go down...at 30 months out we are equal to the positives chance of mets/reocurrence..honestly..I don't know how accurate this chart is..it is based on Asian women..but for some reason..I printed this chart out and keep it with me..after each month I draw a line to where I am at that point..study it...guess I'm a little obsessive...

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • tibet
    tibet Member Posts: 545
    edited March 2011

    hi Titan

    I just sent you a PM, asking if you could email me the chart you mentioned here. thanks. 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • LRM216
    LRM216 Member Posts: 2,115
    edited March 2011

    With this dang disease - who isn't obsessive?????

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • HollyHopes
    HollyHopes Member Posts: 497
    edited March 2011

    Hi Grin - you ask "where should i be in this process"...you should be exactly where you are.  there is no road map, no set of expectations, no one right way to go through this.   each of us does it in her own way.   whatever you are feeling is ok...and if getting some supportive counseling seems like an option - try it out... i am a psychotherapist and i would only suggest finding someone who is knowledgeable about breast cancer...not every therapist is...so looking for someone through your local cancer support center is a good place to start...meanwhile, be gentle with yourself and  you will find a way through...blessings!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Titan
    Titan Member Posts: 2,956
    edited March 2011

    Two years out Sunday 3/20!  For some reason everything is coming back..its weird..it's like it just happened yesterday..but then again it feels like it was all a dream (nightmare)...

    Weird..

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • yellowdoglady
    yellowdoglady Member Posts: 349
    edited April 2011

    Hi all.

    The high anxiety time for us TNBC ladies is in the first year and a half.  Hell, I didn't feel fully and totally and completely normal again for two years, and the eyebrows and eyelashes took that time to show their full support.  But after a year I could do most everything again.  

    I have a fabulous doc who drew me a curve and said that at a year and a half out, half of people just like me who would be expected to get sick again already are.  Not being sick again then boosts your odds of living happily ever after.  At three years out, the chances of getting sick again drop like a rock over a cliff, so it becomes very rare to get sick again.  At five years out, almost no one with a true TNBC diagnosis will ever get a recurrence.

    To reach two years out with no complaints is a major accomplishment.  Congrats Titan! 

    What you are feeling may be a bit of post traumatic stress.  I swear if anyone ever again asks me if anyone is here with me and then asks me to sit down, I may want to say the wrong thing.  I just don't know what yet.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Titan
    Titan Member Posts: 2,956
    edited April 2011

    Thanks L-D lady...could you maybe come on here a little more often..we all need your support...

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Categories