Chemo June 2010
Comments
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Sherry--praying for you!
Chey--hope you are having a good day!
gin2ca--Congrats on your last rads! Thanks for sharing the stories about your mom. Glad you able to laugh with her.
Dmom--you are almost done!!
I have been so busy this week! I start my day with rads, then the last few days I've been getting some shopping done after. Then a few days this week I had my 13 month old grandson here in the afternoon. Plus, planning and cleaning for Thanksgiving! I'm very tired by evening, and my feet and back hurt, but it's so nice to be living again!! This is a more "normal" tired--not chemo fatigue! I'm sure as rads continues I'll get a little more tired, but that'll be nothing like chemo. Life is good--the end is in sight and I can't wait!! Oh--and I think my eyelashes are coming back!
I even had a few chinny hairs to pluck--never thought I'd be happy about that! lol!
I don't post as often, but I'm still thinking about you all and praying for you. I am sooo grateful for each and everyone of you!
Tina
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Hi all - finally had my last taxol last Wednesday. Now it's on to the every 3 week herceptin and 6 weeks of rads. I am exhausted, sore and had a bit of a weepy day today. Went for the rad simulation and cried on the way there - then started again as soon as the nurse asked me how I was doing....Everyone was very nice but I think I must be experiencing the letdown that so many of you talked about. Can't believe that I have to go thru this too. I also cried the first day of chemo but then got over it once I finished the first treatment. Hopefully that will also happen with the rads.
Everyone seems to be so happy that I am done with the "real chemo" but I can't seem to find that same enthusiasm. I also had to go to the GYN this afternoon and burst into tears again. She talked to me about tamoxifen vs femara. Didn't even know I would need either one until my last ONC chat. I feel like I am on a rollercoaster that I can't get off...I have been so good thru all of this, I don't want to start losing it now.
Will be seeing a few of my good friends this Sunday for brunch, 2 of them are survivors - both more than 10 years - so it is great to have them to process some of what I am feeling now. I don't think my DH really understands why I'm not jumping for joy at this point.
Thanks for listening everyone and Sherry & Chey, hang in there, we know what you are going thru.
Hugs to all
Liz
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Liz--I know what you mean about the rollercoaster ride! Don't feel bad for being weepy, or having these feelings. You still have chemo messing with you, and your hormones are messed up. And you still have a lot more to go through! It was tough for me to start radiation because I just wanted to get off this train and be DONE. I think once you get going, you will feel better. For me, it's helping me to get out of the house and once I'm out I end up shopping and running errands, and that makes me feel "normal" (even though I still get looks because of my scarf and lack of eyebrows!).
I bet seeing your friends and talking to other suvivors will help you alot. Enjoy your time with them--and don't worry about what others think! You will get through this--and in 10 years you'll be helping someone else get through.
I'll be praying for you.
Tina
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Liz- I cried at my rads simulation too (also at my first chemo). For me I think it magnified this bizarre, medical odyssey I continue to go through. Now that I am nearly done with rads, it is really not so bad. It is a daily nuisance, scheduling-wise, but the actual treatment is a picnic at the beach in comparison to chemo. And by the way, I would worry about you if you didn't feel like crying every now and again!
Wishing each and every one of you a joy-filled Thanksgiving. How thankful I am for all of you!
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gin2, i love your stories, how sweet is she, she is in her own happy world.. im glad she has you!!!
lizzyanne, thank you, you are gonna make it, we all are, but i know it will take awhile for me to be normal again, im trying so hard as i know you are..big hugs
sherry, whats going on beautiful/ i think of you everyday!!!
tmarina, hiiiiiiiiiii, im doing pretty good, i have been released from the ONC for 3 months, wow! i never really liked her anyway...haha.. but now i have reconstruction to think about. think ill wait till after the holidays.
Dmom. the rads have flown by, to bad the wait in the office has not! oh my, i cant believe the waiting you have had to do, when i had to wait for my appts, i would make lists of what i wanted to do around the house to keep me busy..
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chey i am on my 3tx of chemo and anticipating my reconstruction soon after. What are you planning on having done? I am very nervous about it.
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Hi girls!
Sorry I haven't posted much lately. I'm back to trying to work and deal with all of this bc crap! I spent a couple hours on the phone with my insurance companies and dr offices trying to clear up some bills. I still have not been reimbursed for my "cranial prosthesis" (wig). My eyes have been itchy and watery. I'm not sure if it's allergies, chemo or the fact that my lashes are slowly growing in. My legs are still achey and I know that's from the chemo. I start rads on Monday. I'm not looking forward to it.
Chey and Sherry, I hope you're feeling better!!!! (((hugs)))
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Hi Girls,
Well survivied the airport TSA. The trip out of Columbus did result in a trip through the body scanner and a bit of a pat down but whether it was because I told her I had inplants that had metal in them right up front or the fact that she was young and a bit uncomfortable herself all she did was ask if she could touch the ara (through my clothes) where the metal was. She cleard me then. The trip back was a breeze - Newark only has the body scanners for international flights. No new pat down or anyting. Yay!!!!
I have rad simulation tomorrow. will be glad to have it done. Then I can concentrate on the rest of the week and my Thanksgiving feast I am preparing. We have friends coming in for the holiday. Cooking is my therapy!!!
Chey & Sherry - hope you are doing better.
Hugs all around!
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carrol2, hello you, im am planning on having my left boob taken as well, early December, at the same time they will put in tissue expanders, i just dont feel comfy not having a dmx, i dont ever want to hear them say biopsy or bc again... i know maybe we can catch it early, but not soon enough for me! id rather both boobs be gone!!! thats just me, let me know what u think..
hi girls,im feeling better, i like being in the sun rather than in the dark place, im trying hard!!!
love Chey
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Hello All-
Hang in there Chey! I had a bilateral mastectomy by choice. They found cancer in the "good" boob during surgery. I was very glad to have a double.
Jackie- Glad your flights were a little less intense this time. Good luck with the rads !
I am a week and a half post rads and have sore, peeling, red, skin. They told me to expect this. During rads my skin held up well. A friend who had radiation a couple of years ago for tongue cancer told me that rads side effects got better two weeks post radiation. I am hoping that's true. I would like to be done feeling ill.
I also caught a cold so I am extra tired and grumpy. My poor husband.
A friend who is using the same rads place called me today to say that I finished rads just in time. The machine has been down for days and she is now driving an hour each way through bad traffic to get her rads while they fix the machine.
Gotta sort laundry! Hope everyone has a Happy Thanksgiving.
Joan
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Chey I had a bilateral with delayed reconstruction on August 9th 2010, bout 3 months ago. They did not find anything in the pathology of the good boob. I also did not want to worry about doing this ever again. My mom had a MX 30 years ago and then got it in the other boob last year. I don't know if i feel any better really because you could still get it on your chest even if you have a bmx, granted severely less likely. I think it was easier for me to make the decision too because i did not like the idea of having two different boobs or trying to match a natural breast to an implant, seemed like the symmetry would be better with two implants. Plus sexually I was never into the nipple thing. My husband joked that when I get my new nipples he could play all he wants and I could take a nap lol. It's odd though when I get chilled I still get a phantom nipple feeling. Now that i jsut finished chemo 3 or 4 I am looking forward to having boobs again. Although i sort of enjoyed this sort of ballerina type figure for a while I still feel deformed underneath. When i first got the surgery I was soooo afraid to see what it l would look like and was pretty releived actually, did not look as bad as I imagined. I look really thin without my DDs. So i will be more than happy with a large C when it's all done and my hsuabnd wants to take me on vacation to Key West, where we were married, when it's over to celebrate.
That cannot come soon enough. I think I will walk on the beach and cry for hours just to be there.
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Chey: I am also planning on getting my other side removed. I got my right breast removed about 8 months ago and I have thought about it and decided to get the other side removed. However, my surgeon does not want to put in the tissue expander during the surgery because he said there is a high percentage that it would "dislodge" so I have to wait 3 months before I can start the reconstruction process??? I wish I could just do it all at the same time!
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Chey, so glad to hear you are feeling better. I had both breasts removed last year with tissue expanders put in immediately. I had cancer come back in the right (where it was originally), but my case is EXTREMELY RARE!!!
I was supposed to start rads today. They did x-rays and I met with the doctor. They had to re-check me because I have implants and they are trying to not hit my other breast and my lung. I start rads tomorrow.
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Finishing up rads tomorrow...Yippee!!!!
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Joan I have a friend who is a few weeks (about a month) ahead of us and she had exactly the same experience you did. Skin did ok during rads and then got dark and peeled for the two weeks afterwards. She is doing well now. Hang in there!
I had both breasts removed when they did my surgery in April. The right breast had 20 tumors and the left breast had 2. They were certain they were not cancer but had questionable cells that indicated they could change. BS was going to do a lumpectomy on that side. I said "No way, I am not coming back here again in 4 years when the left breast gets it". So we took both. Insurance covered it and now I can have reconstruction and two somewhat equilavent breast. It was the right decision for me. Especially after they determined I had it in my lymph nodes.
Janny - congrats on finishing up rads. Take care of your skin! Celelbrate!!!
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Hey gals,
Finnished 25 regular rads today. Now on to the 5 boosts. My skin is very red, rashy, and peeling. It is on the verge of breaking open. The tech said it would start healing today, but I was glad to read your posts that it will take several weeks. Otherwise I would have worried. One more week away from home then back for good! How nice it will be not to live out of a suitcase anymore.
Sherry, where are you?
Janny99 Congrats on finnishing today.
Kittykat, good luck with rads. The time will go fast.
Love and Hugs, Mimi
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Congrats Janny!!
I had #19 of 33 today. I'll get #20 tomorrow, then my rad onc told me today he wants me to take a 4 day break. I was scheduled to have #21 on Friday. He made sure it was ok with me "emotionally" stating that some have an end date they really want to keep to, and I said I was fine with it--I've already added on 3 days because the rad machine was down. Too bad I have to go to the hospital anyway on Friday for my MUGA scan!
It's nice to hear everyone's stories about thier surgeries and choices. Having a mx was such a difficult decision for me at the time, but I sure wish I would have had a bmx. I was just too overwhelmed at the time to make that decision. I will have the other one removed next summer, I think. Now I need to figure out if I want recon or not. I'm thinking that having some sort of breasts would be easier than wearing prostheses(sp?) all the time. Any thoughts?
Sherry--we are getting worried about you! Praying everything is ok!
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Finished up my regular rads today, now on to 7 boosts. My skin is holding up quite well. My lovely, South African doctor remarked "brilliant!" when he examined me yesterday. No one ever called them that before! I think my method of lots of fresh aloe when I felt burned and lots of Caledula cream to keep moisturized has helped.
We're getting there ladies!
Sherry- Sweet lady, I am keeping you in my prayers. Let us know how you are doing as you can.
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DesignerMom, Whoo whee, no one has ever called mine "brilliant" either. My rad technicians did tell me I had "good anatomy" which is just not the same as a "good bod."
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Hi All!
Congrats to all who are winding up their rads. There is light at the end of this cancer tunnel!
Jackie- Thanks for the rads info. I'm glad my reaction is normal.
Today I went out in public without my head scarf. I have a quater inch of hair that is grey and white all over my head. I decided to give my "new" look a trial run. I got second glances from strangers and people who know me started to cry, told me I looked cute or started the "you brave woman" talk. I am cold tho!
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Has anyone heard from our Sherry? The last time she posted was November 17 when they discovered fluid around her lung. Sherry, if you are reading, just know that I am keeping you in my prayers every day.
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Sherry, I am worried about you,too. Please post something so we will know you are okay. Does anyone know any way to get in touch with her???? I am praying that you are just doing well and too busy to chat with us.
DesignerMom, Did you get a chance to try the organic hair color???? It was you that had it, wasn't it? I really need to do something with my hair soon. It is about a half inch long now and is growing in all directions so I do sort of look like an early CHIA PET. HA-HA!!!!!
The latest in the Julia saga is that she stole the Med Tech's M&M's at Assisted Living who is named Crystal. Mom is Diabetic and we are having a time trying to get her Sugar level down to an acceptable level. Crystal has been trying to encourage Mom to exercise more and watch what she eats. Wednesday she had left her Med Cart in the hall a minute to go into the room next to my Mom's. Well, Julia goes out into the hall and sees Crystal's M& M's on the cart and takes them and is standing there munching away on them when she comes back. Crystal said, "Mrs. Weatherly, drop those M&M's". Mom said, "Make me". Crystal said she had to sit down and hold her sides because she was laughing so hard. She says my Mom is always entertaining them and gettiing into trouble. She is like the mischievous 5 yr old that the teacher secretly loves but must reprimand. At Thanksgiving dinner, she was putting salt in her unsweetened tea instead of splenda and my daughter told her it was salt and she said, "Prove it". She said that if it was salt that was how she liked her tea. Leslie made her taste it and then got her more tea and sweetened it for her. Honestly, sometimes I think she really does a lot of this to get a laugh or attention but other times I realize she really just does not know what is what. For all the years that I knew her before dementia set in I never saw the playful side of her personality but I guess it was there just not as evident. She always sticks her tongue out now at my brother when she gets to eat something with sugar and he can't stop her. What a mess she is!!!!
Hope all had a great Thanksgiving. Ours was good and spent with family and friends and today DH and I did a little shopping for Christmas. We did not get out into the crazy early morning mess but waited until 8am and there were still lots of good sales in our town and the crowds were tired and had gone home.
My DH's office party is next weekend and I guess I will wear my wig for that but I am so ready to ditch all 3 of them. Even though it is faster to not have hair I am looking forward to getting enough to do something with. My eyebrows and lashes have come back in, but alas are no thicker than pre chemo(always have had very sparse brows and lashes and still do-OH HECK!!!, but I have enough body hair to rival the missing link(GO FIGURE)!!!!
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gin2- Oh your mother keeps me laughing. You thank her for me, I need a good laugh! You are right, she is like a mischievous 5 YO. Do you remember Lily Tomlin doing her Edith Ann routine? That's Julia! I think I'll use her line the next time one of my doctors tells me I need to do something "make me"!
I plan on trying the henna hair color tomorrow. I first bought a light blonde color, thinking it would dye only the gray, looking like highlights. The outside of the box said "guaranteed to color gray". Inside the box, it said it would NOT color gray that had originally been a dark color. WTH! Wouldn't that be everyone that wasn't originally a Swedish blonde? I consulted with my dear hairdresser and he suggested a light brown. My base color is medium brown. He says henna will oxidize and lighten a little as hair is washed. So!! I think I will try it tomorrow when I have time. My hope is that it will have high and lowlights, as it only coats the hair, doesn't penetrate it. I don't like that flat, one color look. I'll keep you posted.
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I'm here and back from the dead once again. I spent 7 days in the hospital and just got home this afternoon. The Reader's Digest version of this story, is that the oncologist, pulmonologist and immunologist were all scratching their heads for most of the week. The fluid returned and they drew off a liter of fluid this time. I am very weak - weaker than I can ever remember. But very glad to be home. I have a boatload of antibiotics to take and will go to see oncologist next week. He told me that if the fluid came back, they would do surgery and check the pleural lining around the lung.
Thanks to all of you for your prayers and well wishes. It really does make a difference. And Chey -i don't think we should try out for the Poster Girls of Breast Cancer anytime soon. I hope this finds you weaving your way out of your funk.
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Sherry- Welcome back you strong, warrior fighter you! I sure hope they figure out what is going on with you. So glad you are home and resting. A hospital is no place to get healthy! Keeping you in my prayers, as always.
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Sherry-->Thanks for checking in--we were all worried about you. You have been through so much--I'm praying hard that this is the end of it! Rest and take care...
Tina -
Sherry - so glad to hear your back home. You keep fighting girl! We are all praying for you. Hugs!!!!
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Hi Ladies! Sorry I've been MIA for nearly a month. Thanksgiving got me thinking about all of you again. Sherry, I'm sending positive thoughts your way, it seems so unfair that you are having/have had so many SEs whilst some of us have had so few.
My update, well I got rid of my itchy rash on the irradiated breast, stopped the steroid cream, and the rash started to come back within a week :-( So that was a downer, but at least now I know it wasn't the Tamoxifen causing the rash, so I've started the Tamoxifen again and I'm using the steroid cream every day, and I have no idea when I'll be able to stop using it :-( For now I'm not going to worry about it.
I hope you all had a lovely Thanksgiving with family and friends.
Julia
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Hang in there Sherry! We all love you and are praying for you and sending good thoughts!!!!!!!
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Okay, for all of you wondering about the natural, Henna haircolor. I just tried it again in a darker color and it did NOTHING to cover my gray. What a bunch of BS that it guarantees to cover gray, waste of money and time. Back to the drawing board...or get out of the way Jamie Lee Curtis, because here comes my salt and pepper hair!
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