Major Life Change Triggering Anxiety

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cathmg
cathmg Member Posts: 278
edited June 2014 in Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts

Hi all,

I'm reaching out for support and just venting,too. When diagnosed 2 years ago I went through major anxiety and depression. I can't believe I made it through that, and treatment, too. It was so hard and scary.

Fast forward 2 years. We put in an offer on a real fixer upper farmhouse on 8 acres-and it was accepted. This means moving on from our intown home where the kids have spent most of their childhood years (my youngest is 15). Moving, and a major renovation is becoming real and I feel so conflicted and anxious. I'm having that almost-panic-attack tightness in my chest.

I think this change is triggering some PTSD, and I don't know what to do. I'm trying to think positively-like, having more land is something we've wanted. And then I put it in the perspective of facing cancer-if I can handle that, then I can handle anything.

Hoping someone may have some words of comfort and wisdom for me,

Wishing everyone well,

CAtherine

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  • Lena
    Lena Member Posts: 1,036
    edited November 2010

    Cath,

    You're not alone. I just moved -- five states/300 miles -- and I'm not doing the change thing well -- even though I WANTED to move and I LOVE the area I moved to SO much more than where I was, which really sucked moose eggs. Still though, I'm falling apart. Yes, the BC messed me up big time both physically and emotionally (I'm STILL a wreck from that: Stage IV diagnosis 2/2009, chemo 4-7/2009, hormonals since 7/2009 with complications), and also I've ALWAYS had issues with change, as in difficulty adapting to it, even GOOD change, so I'm definitely a basket case! 

    The "funniest" part of this is that not only did I WANT to move and lucked into the nicest place I've ever lived in my adult life, for awhile I was totally going like gangbusters both with the moving prep and packing over the summer, then when I first got here (first weekend in October), the unpacking and starting to learn how to get around the area a bit...it's just been the last 2-3 weeks I totally fell apart, as in gotten really moody (wicked volatile mood swings, mostly depression with numerous daily crying jags) and it's hard for me to function in spite of the fact that I take an antidepressant (necessary because AIs messed me up for good).

    Oh well. I don't know if you find it comforting to know you're not the only one with this kind of reaction to a move, but I hope you start to feel better as soon as you can.

    ~Lena. 

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  • cathmg
    cathmg Member Posts: 278
    edited November 2010

    Hi Lena,

    Thanks so much for your reply, and it is comforting to know you understand. You really got it when you said that change is hard-it has always felt "unsafe" to me. Maybe it's the tendency toward anxiety that the bc diagnosis kicked into high gear. It is a little past 3 am here, so the trouble sleeping has started. 

    My son is upset because I'm crying and conflicted about this potential move (we have to sell our house first). He just wants me tobe happy about, and in the long run I think I will be. We are moving from a small intown lot to 8 acres of fields only 5 miles away-but the house is a wreck and needs major work. I am trying to be a good role model for him by taking this on with gusto, but I can't help the way I feel. And yes, the hormone blockers ( I'm on Tamoxifen) don't help my mood any.

    I hope you easily work through the adjustment to your new home and area, and the depression lifts, and you feel well.

    Catherine

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  • lovemyfamilysomuch
    lovemyfamilysomuch Member Posts: 1,585
    edited November 2010

    Hi Catherine,

    Hang in there sister.  Did you ever read thos charts that state that moving is one of the biggest stressors there is?  And you went through bc and treatment and that is so hard.  Take care of yourself and know that your bc sisters love you and support you.  you are not alone! xo

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  • Shrek4
    Shrek4 Member Posts: 1,822
    edited November 2010

    I envy you, really - to move on a farm? I don't want to sound inconsiderate, but this was my dream for years. We'll have to wait a couple years to be able to do that.

    I'm sure that once it's done you'll be much happier. *hugs*

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  • Bren-2007
    Bren-2007 Member Posts: 6,241
    edited November 2010

    Catherine ... every time I've sold and bought a new house I've freaked out.  I have moved from the west coast, to Utah, Iowa, North Carolina and finally Virginia!  We have 5 acreas nows and I love it here.  We are in a small renovated old home.

    I think once you get settled in your new house and start the renovations it will help with your anxiety.  You'll be busy every day working on your dream and getting everything in order.

    Best of luck to you,

    Bren

    PS .. I love having 5 acres ... spend most of my time outside now!

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  • cathmg
    cathmg Member Posts: 278
    edited November 2010

    Wow, thanks ladies, for the support and understanding. Your collective wisdom helps!

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