Thinking ofr All of You & Baby Update

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Pure
Pure Member Posts: 1,796
edited June 2014 in Stage III Breast Cancer

I know I don't check in often but I think of all of you daily and I do log on briefly to check in. I do try to PM anyone that I feel could use my support. I  use to be glued to this site and now I just feel for me to go on I have to let go a bit.

I was thinking that my babies 1 year birthday is in 2 months. I remember that day when all of you were sitting on here waiting to hear word. I remember the overwhelming outpouring of support and well wishes from all of you. I will never forget the kindness so many of you showed me.

I am crying as I write this:)  I can't express how touched I still am by all of your kindness and love.

I am almost 9 months out from chemo and 2 years out from when I found my cancer. I know now I will be ok. I don't know how to explain it but I have a sense of peace that I am ok. I don't have any more fear really and I am really happy.

Kilian is crawling. He is a super super happy baby. People constantly comment on how happy of a child he is. I know God has such special plans for this child. His story is so amazing and  it's so fitting that he is such a happy happy baby.

I am not sure if you guys remember but I was a mess. Iremember thinking I would rather take my own life then die from this disease. One day i decided I would turn this around and make this disease a turning point for my life. I am now happier and healthier then I ever have been. My company is doing amazing and life is just really good. I know no matter what everything is going to be ok.

Anyway I am so thankful to all of your for all of your support and love and will NEVER forget what all of you did and how supportive everyone us.I hope I can pass that kindness on.

I have also started a foundation called www.kilianskids.com. It's a non profit that provides computers and ipods to children fighting cancer. You can see a picture of my beautiful baby on the site:)

I pray for peace, healing, and strength for all of the newbies on here as well as all you that have supported me throughout this process. You really do get to the other side:)

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  • KerryMac
    KerryMac Member Posts: 3,529
    edited November 2010

    Jen, it is so lovely to read this. I so remember your first panic filled posts, and I am so so happy to hear what a good place you are in now. Peace is priceless.

    Killian is just the cutest, most adorable little boy. I will never forget waiting for him to be born either! You will certainly have some stories to tell him when he is older.

    All the best with your Foundation, I know it is going to do really well. 

    Onward! 

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  • apple
    apple Member Posts: 7,799
    edited November 2010

    that's wonderful Jen... your attitude, Killian, your foundation.  I knew things would be ok for you.

    love ya

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  • NancyD
    NancyD Member Posts: 3,562
    edited November 2010

    I, too, remember waiting. Killian is such the cutest baby, and that's coming from someone who is very prejudiced about how cute my own babies were. I love seeing his pictures on FB, and hope we get to continue to see him grow.

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  • Bugs
    Bugs Member Posts: 1,719
    edited November 2010

    Loved reading this, Jen.  It's amazing what can happen in a year, huh?  I positively LOVE seeing pics of Killian on fb.  He has the biggest smile!

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  • jenn3
    jenn3 Member Posts: 3,316
    edited November 2010

    I too can remember your many posts filled with fears, questions and anxiety.  Waiting in our cyber waiting room for test results and for Killian's birth......  You went from fear and anxiety to become a wonderful source of knowlege, support and inspiration for all of us, including the "newbies".  Way to go!!!

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  • lkc
    lkc Member Posts: 1,203
    edited November 2010

    Hi jen, I am so so happy you and baby Killian are well and happy! It just keeps getting better!

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  • nowords
    nowords Member Posts: 423
    edited November 2010

    Wonderful to know how well it is all going. In one of the books the Mayo gave me when I was first diagnosed, there was a story about a woman with a story similar to yours....I think the woman saw her child graduate and they are both still going....

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  • diana50
    diana50 Member Posts: 2,134
    edited November 2010

    jen,

    thanks for the update; the feeling of "i know now i will be ok,..sense of peace"  is really you  coming out on the otherside of all of this.  Killian is so amazing...as is you and your entire family* it just keeps getting better*

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  • KittyDog
    KittyDog Member Posts: 1,079
    edited November 2010

    Your baby is beautiful!  What a wonderful thing you are doing.  Wish you the best.  Keep in touch!

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  • YATCOMW
    YATCOMW Member Posts: 664
    edited November 2010

    Jen.....

    I love you girl!!!!!  This  post is what i had hoped for you!  So glad everything is good.....post a new pix of our Killian!

    Jacqueline 

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  • Beverly11
    Beverly11 Member Posts: 443
    edited November 2010

    Jen -  I am so incredibly happy to hear these happy stories.  It really seems like yesterday when 'we' were waiting and waiting for Killian's arrival.  Yet, in other ways seems like a life time ago.  So much has happened.  Your labor went on for weeks!  I was a little ahead of you in treatment but not much.  You and a number of others were my rocks.  Congrats on your foundation too! 

    Hugs,

    Bev

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  • geewhiz
    geewhiz Member Posts: 1,439
    edited November 2010

    I am so happy for you, and proud for you as well! You took the lemons and squeezed the heck out of them into some pretty amazing lemonade. I have always loved your honesty. I will light a candle for peace for us all! 

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  • AnacortesGirl
    AnacortesGirl Member Posts: 1,758
    edited November 2010

    I am so happy for you!  I do remember the posts with the fear and the uncertainity -- I just glad you found the site so you could express yourself and get support.  Who wouldn't have fears as a pregnant lady going through treatment and a family to take care of??  My gosh!  But look at you now!  I've noticed your lack of posts and I've been hoping it's because you've been living life.  You keep going girl!

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  • Pure
    Pure Member Posts: 1,796
    edited November 2010

    Thank you-all of you-for your kind supportive loving words. I wish the same sense of peace and happiness for all of you:)

    Blessings!

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  • Claire_in_Seattle
    Claire_in_Seattle Member Posts: 4,570
    edited November 2010

    Hi Jen,

    I remember your posts too.  So glad you got to the point where you have peace and are moving forward with your life.  I continue to be blown away by all you have accomplished.

    Which brings me to Thanksgiving.  Tons to be thankful for.  I am so looking forward to Christmas this year.  Last year, was subdued.  I can't wait to put out my things this year, and just got some potpourri and candles.

    I remember trudging around with a ton of things and being so glad to get home.  This year, I will enjoy the trees, decorations, and Dickens Carolers.  We should have snow in the mountains too, so will be able to work off on my skis.

    Most special evening last year was a Lumieres Walk around Green Lake.  Was beyond magical.

    So wishing you and everyone else on the boards a most festive, thankful, and magical season. - Claire

    (Note: I am starting early with the celebration......no need to wait until next week.)

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  • Annie62
    Annie62 Member Posts: 1,081
    edited November 2010

    Hi Jen - I am so pleased to hear your are doing well and that Killian is such a happy little guy.

    Best,

    Annie

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