My Father Need Help

NinB · November 2010

Hello All ! i am the son of Nina and now i am writing here

We turn this step because that the situation of my father truly hard and he says that can't continue to live more in the form like this he is anxious that my mother will not be able to go out from the disease and then he will remain solitary and this is frightful him terrible because outside from me- the son, he doesn't have no one in the world, also he isnt working already 20 years almost ( he has disability on foot ) and he doesn't have close people at all.

The mother has finished her chemo and now waiting surgery and doing Hereceptin every 3 weeks, she had a tumur in the breast about 3 cm and in the armpit about 1.3 cm in the examination now it got smaller - around 1 cm.

One of the things that maybe can help my father is this if he will know that there are similar cases like this of my mother that the women over came it and live long years without significant signs of the disease.

He also very afraids because she has HER2 positive type..he thinks it's very dangereous kind of disease...

Maybe you have some kind of advise or can help him some how?

thank you very MUCH

debbie6122 · November 2010

Hi ninbe- Im sorry about you mom, and sorry that you and your dad are having a hard time dealing with this, ok, first of all bc is treatable and theere is such good treatments out there now and the prognosis is better than it has ever been, i know this is hard on your dad and you watching your mom go thru this but things will get better, its a hard road and it sucks but it is doable, there are so many woman on this site that have had bc (breast cancer) for years and are doing well, and so many woman that are stage iv and doing well, jsut be there for your mom and help her thru this and try not to stress her out by your worries this is her time to get well and take care of herself and not have to worry about every thing else going on, maybe you can have your dad come and read some of the stories here, he might feel better by rreading some of our stories. I know how hard this is for you, and i wish i knew exactly what to say to comfort you and i hope i have eased your mind somewhat, please keep us posted and if you have any questions we wil be happy to help (((((((((hugs))))))))))

lago · November 2010

Let your dad know that your mom is getting Herceptin which totally changes the diagnosis of HER2+ compared to 10 years ago. The fact that it's responding to treatment is awesome.

But I would also see if there is a social worker to help your dad, geriatric social worker if he is in that category. His reaction is not unusual but he needs a professional to help him through this. Spouses fearing being alone is not uncommon. That's why you see many spouses pass on months after.

Hope you find the help for you dad he needs.

thatsme58 · November 2010

Hi Ninb

Herceptin is truly a wonder drug for people like your mom and me, I was just diagnosed in Sept and am getting Taxotere/Carboplatin/Herceptin with a Zometa infusion since it appears to have moved to the bone. My doctor is very encouraged by the statistics for people like us but most other doctors are using stats that are 10 years old, herceptin has only been out 10 years. Each breast cancer is different and has to be treated differently, in that way to be triple positive like we are we get the best out there.

Support is so very important and it breaks me heart when I go to treatment and see people being helped by strangers because they have no family to help. Please reach out for your father, the cancer society is a place to start, if you have a church or community outreach program they can help also. This website has some good links also. Please use this site and let your dad read the good stories, with help, love and support we will all make it!

Let us know how it goes for you and your family.

My Father Need Help

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