Chemo June 2010

To Sherry and All My Sisters:

Thank you - your posts have been so moving.  I went into a depression when my chemo was over and I started thinking - Why don't I seem better?  My therapist said to ask my onc about antidepressants - which he prescribed.  I told him  - I think the chemo has messed up my hormones and caused the depression, and he said - No- you''ve had a major health trauma and THAT'S probably causing the depression!

Then, last week, I got a report that a suspicious spot, near my lump, is benign.  I was hugely relieved.  That night I had a dream about sex.  I had not even thought about sex since this whole thing started last spring - yet here was my  libido trying to push its way into my conscioiusness. Who knows?   Maybe it was the antidepressant.   But when a 50-year old bald lady in the middle o breast cancer treatment can have sex dreams, anything is possible!

Hugs to everyone!

Toni- WOOT!  You go girl!

hi girls, well its been a week or so post chemo, i dont need rads but i have sunk into that dark place again. my onc said i prolly would as most women do. i dont know what to do with myself. It breaks my heart reading all this from my sisters but yet, it makes me feel so blessed to have you all go through this with me. I never woulda made it without you girls, its been a long 6 months. I spend my night tonight thinking of all of you and praying for peace and health. We need to remember,we DONT have cancer anymore! we get to start a new year soon and as hard as it is sometimes, we need to remember our glasses are half full.(ok so mine has  vodka in it ) anyway, im gonna try and be positive and keep myself so busy with projects around the house. Oh i start Tamoxifen tomorrow.

love you all

Chey

Toni- I LOL at your dream. Then I remembered a story about my dear friend's sweet son who was diagnosed with leukemia as a baby. He was in remission for 12 years, but it came back and he is now in heaven waiting for us. At his memorial, a gorgeous, young girl told of her memories at the cancer camp they attended each summer. She, too was a survivor and remembered slow dancing, as a bald, ill, young girl with this handsome boy. Imagine a "normal", 14 YO boy choosing to slow dance with a sick, bald girl, it probably would never happen. It struck me how, once faced with cancer, we are more able to truly see the real beauty in people. It's as if I see right through the nonsense to the important things. I have met so many brave, beautiful, funny, BALD women during this journey. I feel forever changed in a good way. As for all of you beautiful friends. I will love you forever....bald, fat, skinny, wrinkled or whatever!

Hi all.  New to this thread.  Have been reading several other topics.  Did not see a group for chemo starting in April.I didn't find this site til after chemo ended  I'm pretty close to most of you.  I finished chemo in July.  On tamox and supposed to be doing Herceptin every 3 wks, but had to stop due to low EF from MUGA.  Have ups and downs days.  Also having surgery in Jan. to remove other breast and have reconstruction.  Don't want to do this again down the road.  Thank you for listening.  I don't feel quite alone knowing I can come here for support and knowledge. 

TMarina - I am experiencing the same thing.  I am more sore now that I was the whole time I was getting chemo.  I thought it was just me.  Really caught me off guard! 

Count me in on the joint pain! I usually don't feel anything. These days my knees are killing me going up and down stairs. I thought it was just "aging". Now I am wondering if it is due to chemo. Ahhh, BC, the gift that just keeps on giving!

Hi ladies!



Sorry I've been absent for a while. It's been super busy at work. I've been traveling on business and took some vacation days. I only have 3 weeks between chemo and rads, so I'm making the most of it.



My onco said I could color my hair, so it's now dark brown. Much better than the concrete gray. I'm still wearing my wigs.



I visited my dermatologist on Tuesday. She removed another suspicious mole. Hopefully it's nothing. I'm seeing her every 3-4 months now (instead of every year). I also saw my plastic surgeon, oncologist (for lab work which turned out normal) and my obgyn for a yearly exam. I had a 2nd CT scan for rads. They're going to prop me up on one side with a wedge pillow for rads. They have to get my left foob out of the way. They can't drain it because I have the exchange silicone implants. My PS and rad onco ran into each other at a breast cancer conference on Tuesday morning. They were discussing my case and how shocked they were to hear about my 2nd diagnosis after getting a bmx for DCIS. Anyway, they are going to stay in touch with each other while I'm going through rads. My PS told me to massage my rad foob everyday. Once I finish rads, he wants me on vitamin E. If I get capsular contracture, he can go in and release the capsule a bit and add alloderm. Seeing my PS made me feel a lot better.

Latte-  I will keep you and your little one in my prayers as you continue your "journey".  Let us know how things went once you feel up to it.

Congrats JFV!!!

Latte-prayers for you!

Latte:  Good luck on Sunday. I had lumpectomy last week and they got clean margins,  so that's my good news.  Hope your surgery is also a success; I'm sending good karma your way.  Congrats to everyone who is done with chemo and/or rads.  You are all marvelous!  PS- I have had back pain -not exactly joint pain - since Taxol and now think I will ask my onc about it next week.

Hi to all  of my June chemo friends,  Sorry I am not posting as much as before but am really busy with work, finishing up rads and taking care of my Mom who has dementia.  She is 84 and is really a handful but very entertaining.  She still knows everyone but can't keep a thing straight.  She tells the most outrageous stories fully believing them so is very convincing to others that do not know her condition.

Last week she called 9-1-1 and reported that her house was being broken into.  She is in a residential living facility so does not even live at home.  Needless to say there was nothing going on at home but the sheriff's dept contacted my brother next door to see if there was a problem.  It was at 3am and he said it scared him to have a deputy at his door at that time of the morning.  She is really starting to be a menace and we may have to take out her phone if this keeps up.  She also has reported peeping Tom's that were not there.  

Last month she caused the fire alarm to go off while she had popcorn in her microwave and it was also after 12 at night.  The entire home was evacuated to the parking lot and the firemen came and everything.  We have removed her microwave and apologized to the adminstrationa and staff.  They were very understanding and expressed that they needed to practice a fire drill anyway.  So glad they were good about it.

The other residents are now calling her "SMOKEY".  I think she has enjoyed the attention and it may encourage more stunts from her.  She really is stubborn and very manipulative even though her brain has gotten so unreliable.  I have found that this is the way this disease goes.

Just thought I would relate these funny stories to you ladies so we can realize that even for all our problems we don't have it quite as bad as some.  HA_HA!   I will update with more Julia episodes soon.  Maybe I can at least write a funny story from all of this and I want Bon to help with the arrangement and wording as she is so entertaining.  Mom and I are a pretty good pair right now because we are both having "BRAIN PROBLEMS" , although my Mom claims hers is fine. 

Finishing rads on Wed. and so glad to be finishing.  Hubby and I are planning small weekend trips close by to see Christmas lights starting the weekend of Thanksgiving.

Hope all have a glorious weekend and I am thinking and praying for us all.

Hugs, GINNY

Ginny - maybe you should think about writing a book with your mom's funny stories!

Latte - keeping you in my prayers as you go through your surgery tomorrow.  Will be glad to hear from you when you recover enough to take to the computer.

Yoo Hoo Chey!  Where are you?

Imaging called Friday and my bone scan is scheduled for Tuesday. I'm a little worried since I am about seven weeks past chemo and it seems that every day I get a little more decrepit. Now whenever I stand up from a seated position, I have to stand for a minute or two before I can start walking.  I'm trying to stay positive.  

Sherry - good luck with your bone scan!  I haven't had one yet.  I can totally relate to feeling decrepit.  When I get out of bed in the morning it takes a while for my body to warm up. I feel like I am 80 but I understand it will take a year or so to get back to "normal".  I can't imagine what Tamox is going to do me once I start that at the end of the year.  I am only 3 weeks from my last chemo but I see a little hair growing back on my head.  Of course I am using a magnifying glass but it gives me hope.  No such luck in the eyelashes/eyebrows area. 

Sherry-  I'm like you.  When I stand up I sort of hobble for a few steps (knees, feet, joints need to get going).  Then I seem to get going and do better.  I think it is important to keep moving even if it is just walking around.  Like with arthritis (which I'm wondering if that is a SE from chemo!), it gets worse if we don't move.  I feel like Dory in "Looking for Nemo"...."keep on movin' keep on movin".  I know she was swimming, but I have always related to her character while going through BC, totally bewildered at times, but moving in the right direction.  Hoping your scans are gorgeous!