HELP ME PLEASE... I AM BEGGING FOR HELP...

It takes time, time, time.......be gentle with yourself and patient. (My eyelashes fell out two weeks AFTER the last chemo; fortunately a friend, who it had happen to her, warned me in advance........at least they grew back quickly....it took me 6 months before I could ditch the wig.) Keep hanging in there! Ruth

Hi Vicky, I know just how you feel.. Once my chemo was over I expected to get up and go! lol.. but I would still get really tired much faster than normal.. and found out that if I over did myself one day, the following day I would be EXAUESTED! My husband was the one telling me I needed to slow down and take things easy. As frustrating as it was to hear it.. he was right. It does take time to get back to feeling more "normal". Ruth, like you my eyelashes finished falling out AFTER chemo!! But my hair started coming back in about a month and a half after chemo.. at first I could feel it, but couldn't see it!! Then it went to a peach like fuzz.. and now I have a little bit more. So celebrate that you are done with the chemo! It may help you feel better and just know things will slowly get better

Mari 

I can feel your pain.  I have felt it also.  I was diagnosed in July with BC from a mammogram.  I have had mammograms every year like clockwork.  Dr. said a lympectomy and maybe radiation and I would be fine.  Had the lumpectomy and more cancer was found in the lymph nodes.  A mastectomy was necessary.  Had a mastectomy - more cancer found in the lymph nodes.  I am still kind of in shock. Now need to have 6 treatments of T- A - C then 5 weeks of radiation. I know I am having all the same thoughts you all must have had - Why me?  What did I do?  I have always taken good care of myself - No cancer in my family.  I have had my first Chemo treatment.  Really tired.  And am bouncing from constipation to diahhea.  This is my first post, but I feel really good reading the support in this forum.  Thank you all.

Foxy, welcome.  There are lots of great threads on this site.  Be sure to find one or two that are going the treatment at the same time as you...It is great to have others who are dealing with the same things at the same time...This place was the best thing for me.  Answered all my crazy questions, and it surprised me how open we all are about such personal things...like poop, sex, and nipples.  There is someone here almost any time you need a shoulder to cry on, or share a chuckle.

Suzie, can you share those brownies.  We all have days like that.  I am coming up on my chemoversary in Oct.  It is hard to believe it has been a year already.  In many ways it flew by and in other ways it dragged along.  Looking back it was easier than my imagination thought it would be.

{{{{{{{Vicky}}}}}}}}}}}- I am so sorry you are struggling.  Please hang in there.  It will get better.

 I am sending cyberhugs and prayers your way!!!!!!

It is going to take time, time, time; especially since you are dealing with going through your mother's things; which is so extremely difficult even when you are perfectly healthy. Do you have friends in your town that you could go out to coffee with? Every day could you just do one nice thing for yourself? A bubble bath, facial, read, listen to music, go buy yourself some great new shoes (whatever would be nice for you). Also getting some exercise really does make you feel better both mentally and physically. I am glad you have an appointment with a counselor; he/she can help you sort some of this out. Really, it took me about a year before I could even start to deal with the whole experience and put it in some sort of perspective; don't think that it's odd or bad or be impatient that you haven't found a 'new normal', it would be very unusual if you had so soon after treatment.

Vickey, just keep holding on....don't drink, it only makes things worse....give yourself time.

Vicky,

I know this is tough, but you can do it. Talk to your doctor. There are other nausa medications that they can give you that will make you feel better without the horrible yucky feeling. Zofran is better than most. I always hated the 3rd day after my treatment because I was going to be drugged out for the next 3 days. Zofran helped that and I was actually able to go see my 7yr old daughter in a school program on day 3 of my third treatment. You have to tell the doctors what is happening and ask for other medications. It is almost like a big secret that you only get told when you ask? 

Eat very small meals frequently. I did not have trouble with weight loss. Just the opposited. They were giving me 250mg of decadron with every chemo treatment and well everything tasted good and I gained nearly 100 pounds... Eat high protein foods a little at the time. That will help you stay stronger. Also, acidopholis will help prevent mouth sores and yes it really works.

Just remember chemo does not last forever. You hair will grow back. Go buy a cute wig and have fun with it. I refused to let anyone see me without my hair, but I would change my wig with my mood. Good luck, and I hope this helps..

Vicky,

Ask about anti-depressants.  They really do help to take the edge off.  There have been times when I've been beside myself with grief.  I've been on Celexa and it has helped so much.

Lane

Vicky, I just finished my chemo on September 23rd. I too thought that I would feel so happy because it was over, (except for the reconstruction which is kind of exciting...at least to my husband...lol), but I feel sad and kind of shocked by everything I went through. It is almost like I didn't have time to process what was happening to me until it was over. I feel like a freak most of the time. If only someone would develop a chemo that doesn't make women loose their hair. That has been the worst for me. I feel ugly most of the time. I notice everyones hair too! I have total hair envy! I just want some for myself...I want bangs again!!!!  Ugh! I had a crying spell when my husband took me out to breakfast and we had this cute waitress with gorgeous hair wait on us. I suddenly felt like the ugliest person ever and I started crying right in front of everyone and couldn't stop. It just hit me suddenly, that I am bald and have no boobs. I just keep reminding myself that I  could be dead...I am glad that I am alive for my kids and my husband. Vicky, this too shall pass...we can get through this! We will have bangs again...lol! Stay strong and be nice to yourself.

Ladies, i does take time to get back to a new normal....Vicky, I am so proud of you...you sound so much better already...

Poodle, you are beautiful...just look at yourself...you have an amazing smile.  I think hair is overrated. I am 6 months out of treatment, have my hair back but i just had a haircut..I love my new short hair..I think I look younger...just think of all the money you saved on products and salon fees.  You should buy yourself some fancy sexy shoes.  I bet your DH would rather look at you than some chick with hair.

Low, boy that sounds like a trip to hell and back...I hope you are feeling better.

Hi Vicky,

I'm so glad you are feeling better about things.  Lots of issues to work through with this disease.  I think the counseling should help you, also.

Lane