Im 31 and feel like the world is crashing down on me

I am 29 and just approaching my last chemo before surgery.  And I am an emotional wreck lately!  If it chemopause maybe? Or the decadron? Or plain sick and tired of feeling sick and tired??? I'm with you! I know it will get better soon! Another chapter done and closer to the end of treatment

PM me if you like

Take Care

Oh honey, you are so normal.  You're going through alot, and the emotional aspect of this crap is almost as bad as the physical. I'm so glad you came here. We will help you through this.

Regarding surgery.  My fears of what I would look like were worse than the reality.  

Hugs!

Hi Princess and Nanna,

I was also diagnosed at 29, mastectomy, chemo, radiation.... 16 months of treatment total.  At the time it seemed like it would never end, like I would never forget all the little details.  Really, I didn't think i'd make it to 30.  Well, it's been just over 4 years, life has changed for sure... but still, there is life!  In fact, I'm expecting my first baby, and due in the next couple weeks!  Somehow life goes on....i just wanted to reach out to you both, because I've been there.  Please pm me with any questions.  I pray that you both have brighter days and find peace in every day!

LittleFlower

Princess and Nana: I'm 31, diagnosed at 30. Friday will be my last day of treatment. I had the surgery worries and the chemo brain and now, I'm 3 days away from being finished and moving on with life. I know it's overwhelming and I know it feels it's never going to end, but I did it and so can you. Feel free to pm me anytime. Hang in there!!! 

~Colleen 

Hi princess. I am 33 years old and have been diagnosed this year in May. I think you are prefectly normal because I do the same things. In particular, I often feel the need to lash out against my parents, who are doing their best to support me. I feel that sometimes I hurt so much that I just have to hurt somebody else, too, to make everything bearable. Then again I sometimes simply break down and cry because for no particular reason I seem to know that things will not work out for me.

One day, I have decided to apologize in advance to my parents. I explained to them that I know I am being unfair when lashing out but that I sometimes simply need to do it. They were great and said they understood it and if I needed to do such things and if it helped me then I should just do it. After all, they are here to help me and if that is what helps me so be it.

Hi Princess- your not alone, ive been through all what your saying. I have two young kids myself, and i hate it that i cant be there for them like i used to, i have no energy! its exhausting, but i keep telling myself, its temporary and then we need to go thru this for it to never affect us again.

I truly believe being strong and trying to reduce stress will help us combat this cancer and not just I chemo/radiation/surgery. 

Since chemo ive had many arguements with ppl, but tor those who love u and care and understand will deal with it. 

I use this place to vent also- haha or usually in the morning i am up early and right my emails, have my cry and then start offf fresh for the day. A good cry really helps me actually. LOL.

I have one more chemo and then a break before i start rads in new yr. I also am vey worried about my new breast, i have had a masectomy. ive spoke to many and most ppl are very happy with the results, so im sure something good will happen.

Princess, I just want to welcome you to the forum.

 I am so sorry you are going through this so young, I though I was young at 42! I went through treatment last year with a 3 and a 5 year old, and I know how heartbreaking it is. But, I also know that trying to make life "normal" for them helped get me through.

I can also tell you that by the end of Chemo, I was an emotional mess too - it just seems that for so long you don't feel well, the steroids play havoc with your emotions, add to that all the stress and uncertainty, throw in menopause....well, of course you are going to have trouble! But it really does get better very quickly, and you will go forward and find enjoyment in life again. Just need to keep moving forward! I did see an oncology psychiatrist just for a couple of sessions, it was especially good to talk to her about the fears I had for my children, and she was very helpful.

As for the Surgery, I had a single Mx, I haven't had recon, and at this point I am not sure I will. It really, really isn't as bad as you think it is going to be, it does just become how you look very quickly.  And it doesn't look horrible, just different.

Anyhow, hang in there, and come here often, you will always, always find someone who knows how you are feeling!

When I was dx the first time I was 42 and had a 20 month old. Had 2 sugeries, TAC chemo and rads. I don't remember a thing bout the year she was two. I hate that so much. One thing that worked for me was saving Dora dvds for days when I was really tired, and hanging ont he couch with her and watching 5 episodes in a row! She didn't watch a ton of tv and so she was thrilled and I could zone out (well as much as you can with that irritating Dora voice in your head!)

 When I felt a little better, we would play a game where we stacked blocks as high as we could until they fell over. She could do this for 30 minutes at a time and it was not physically taxing for me. Also there is nothing wrong with hiring a local high school kid to play with your son and you hang with them sitting in a comfy chair. She can scoot after him and in your son's mind you are there with him playing. So he'll be happy and you can rest.

Take care,

Annie

Hello Princess and all.  I'm 37 and was diagnosed on Oct 20, double-mastectomy Nov. 1, and getting ready to start chemo.  The emotions are hard and make sure your dr. knows that.  I'm not a big fan of taking pills to feel better but sometimes help is needed.  I have 2 kids (14 & 8) that are handling things great and being very helpful but I have to remember that they are still kids.  The other night I noticed myself getting short and snappy with them, my mother, and my dh.  That's my signal that I need some alone time in my room.  My guys are old enough to understand that, I'm sure it's much harder with a 2yo!  I really think excusing myself, going to my room, taking a Xanax and having a mini breakdown helps.  Those emotions need to come out!!! 

I am so sorry to hear about what a hard time you are having. I was 33 when I was diagnosed with cancer. I am a single mom so I am well aware of the guilt that comes along with that. I went through chemo, surgery and radiation. I finished my rounds of Herceptin a few months ago. I am currently on tamoxifen now. Its alot to adjust to in no time at all. I cry myself to sleep many a night. I hope you know that you are not alone. You are in my thoughts.

Hi Princess,

Glad you found this group of supportive people. Although I am older than you (dx at 39), I am also a single mum with a 2 yr old. My daughter is definitely what keeps me going on the tough days. And children are much stronger and resilient than we think - I was worried about how to explain to my daughter about losing my hair, and she took it so well - just matter of fact that mummy's hair fell out and will come back one day. Every now and then she asks when it will come back, but that's it. I just had surgery, and worried about how to tell her I was going to hospital and she also took that one really well (told me that it would make her sad, and asked if the Dr will give me medicine - that's all).And as someone else above suggested, I also used to pay a babysitter to come and play or take her to the park, while I sat on the sidelines and watched. Feel free to PM me if you want more help with how to deal with your son during this time.