All About Gummies

Mantra yes as the others said I can get some cleavage if I push... or, I suppose, wear a push-up bra (which I haven't yet tried.  I am now about 5 months out from exchange and I find there is more give/moment than there was the first few weeks... if you JUST had your surgery in the past few weeks you need to be patient.  It takes a few months but they do soften up in terms of movement.  They don't move much but they do move more than they will right now.

Jerusha -- your pain sounds like post-mastectomy pain syndrome.  Have you investigated that?  I know there is a thread started by Deeds on this site (you could search her name or the term).  And if it's not that, then you should absolutely switch the gummies for regular silicone (if you think it's the gummies)!  I have no discomfort ... my only issue is the numbness, which of course would be the same with any implant.   My TE gave me a very specific pain/discomfort primarily in my shoulder blade and shoulder, due to the pectoral stretching... this pain is gone now. Another possibility for your discomfort could be trunkal lymphedema.  If you are feeling constant discomfort you SHOULD be investigating all possibilities so that you can resolve it and be more comfortable!

Jerusha- One clarification.  I had discomfort from the heaviness, and back and neck pain, but NOT chest pain.  If you're having that kind of pain, that's not normal.  Maybe they are positioned wrong and need to be tweaked.

Lilah, I'm sorry, I stand corrected!  I just asked my husband about why you got it and I didn't.  I didn't give him access to this site, just shared your diagnosis signature, and what your doctor told you.  Uni/Bi has nothing to do with Herceptin/chemo, it's all about the tumor/nodes.  You had a node involved and I didn't, and that changes everything.  I had no nodes, and only a 1mm microinvasion.  He said if I had had 6mm or had a node involved, I would have gotten it.  There could also be other factors that may have contributed to your getting it and my not, that are too detailed to include in a diagnosis signature.  He said the uni/bi factor would come into account for Tamoxifin.  If I kept the non-cancerous breast, that would have reduced my risk of getting it there in the future.  

And this is why I am not an oncologist!  That and the fact that I got a D in Bio 101 in college, the first time I took it, and a C- the second. 

Sharon, the fat transfer sounds like a good idea. I was coming up with creative cleavage solutions and was thinking "restylane injections" but figured the cost of having it done every few months would find me in the poor house!

It not that the gummies feel hard . . . I honestly don't know if mine do or not because I'm wrapped. I have poked a finger into the cleavage area and it definitely feels softer than the tissue expanders. However, it's just that the cleavage seems to be lower than it was with my tissue expander and definitely not full. I like to wear tops/dressers that have a v or plunging neckline . . . not too low but just low enough so that my cleavage is clearly out in the open When I removed my hospital bra and put on a dress just to see, I have zero cleavage and my dress looked insanely ridiculous on me. I'm sure any of my clothes with a similar neckline will look just a silly.  I just don't understand how my tissue expanders could have been beyond perfect (loved them) and had a full cleavage yet this completely disappeared when I woke up from my exchange. I assumed the implants would fit into the tissue expander pocket which included a lovely cleavage!! I just so underwhelmed by my implants and since the tissue expanders were perfect, I imagined my implants would be nothing less. Talk about lunch bag letdown !!

Part of me feels I should just be greatful I am cancer free and not harp on this and maybe I should. I wonder if I do fat transfer if all the fat taken survives the transplant? Or do they take extra to ensure a good portion of it will stay. I'm sure I can provide enough fat to fill my cleavage! She said I didn't have enough for a DIEP (??) but I didn't want it regardess so it really didn't matter. 

I was soooo hoping to be finished surgery and ready to move on to the final stage  . . . nipples. Now I feel like I've taken a few steps backwards and have way too many unknowns. First, will she agree to more surgery. Second, is she able to do what I want. Third, how long do I have to wait until surgery and then I have to go through the entire recovery again. Forth, will ON Health Insurance pay for this? I feel like I'm moving in reverse instead of going forward. Not exactly what I had hoped to be feeling at this point. The good news is, my drains will likely be out on Monday and so far (other than the first night) I've had no pain and haven't needed any medication.

I'm waiting for the drains are removed before attempting to try on some clothes again just to make sure my cleavage hasn't suddenly grown and moved up. Wouldn't that be the perfect ending to the story? 

Mantra, the amount needed for a DIEP is significantly more than for fat grafting.  When I asked my PS if he was removing enough fat from my stomach to see a difference, he said "yes" but he didn't want to remove too much in case he had to do more grafting.  I laughed at him and told him that I have no shortage of fat supply.  My thighs and hips are a renewable resource!  Hey, don't people tax credits for using renewable resources?  Some buy electric cars, I regenerate fat for grafting.  Ha!  Some of it will get reabsorbed.  It's also subject to change with your body weight, just like fat everywhere else.  If you loose or gain 10 lbs, it may change.  I also recommend a doctor who does it frequently.  There are many who do liposuction, but either don't do, or are new at grafting.  How and where it's placed seems to be a bit of an art form, I guess like much of plastic surgery.  I hadn't heard of Restalyne for cleavage...that is creative!  It's ok to want more than be cancer free, although that's the most important thing.  Its ok to want to feel "perfect" again.  I was really unhappy with my result, even though everyone thought they were great.  That, coupled with the back pain cinched my decision for a revision, and now I'm sooo glad I did.  I could have been looking at a bad recurrence down the road.  Wait awhile for more surgery though.  I'd say several months, before doing anything at all.  They'll change a lot in that time, and surgery is so physically taxing. 

Lilah- I love how they look now!  Minus the bruising, of course.  They sit higher, are not as wide at the bottom, and the cleavage is great!  I'll post pictures this week.  They are still really bruised up.  I respond really well to Arnica, and I forgot to take it one day and looked like my boobs were used as punching bags! 

Sharon-glad to see your doing better and love your revision. Can't wait to see the pics. You have a great medical team and they watching you closely, I know everything will turn out alright. We are all here for you.

Mantra-the TE are round and the anatomical's tear dropped that is why they looked so different. I had the choice of either and was really leaning towards gummies until about a month before my surgery. I kept asking my Dr how they would look different. Every time I did he would take his hand  and squash down the top of my TE and say that's how the gummy would look.  All of the sudden I just didnt' think they would be right for me. I reviewed everything everyone said and I had to ask myself what was most important to me. For me I wanted more upper pole fullness and breasts that I could push up. It was especially important for me since mine were far apart and the Dr told me he couldn't move them that much closer together because of where my muscle ends. I really agonized over my decision but finally made a choice and just went with it figuring I could change it later if I had to. I do like the rounds a lot. They are not perfect though. I see a lot of rippling already. What I do like is that they are so soft, they are movable and they are round and perky. I wish I could have everything. I remember Sharon saying that in an earlier post no matter what we choose we will find something wrong with them. You and I both just had our surgery so we have to give it time to make these foobs "ours" and grow to love them as part of us. Part of that will be accepting the things that we see as not so perfect about them. I too am considering fat grafting, but who knows in a little while I may just settle down and say I had enough of this for now. For now I am trying to keep an open mind and hope things keep changing for the better.

Mantra I think the first 8 weeks are the most important for the healing... I know I had to wear a bra 24/7 for 8 weeks and then was allowed to sleep without one.  After 8 weeks I'm guessing the capsule and scar tissue have had time to form.  I also think that any rippling you are seeing right now MIGHT be dents from the bra itself... I know that when I was wearing a 24/7 bra it left marks that took awhile (an hour or two) to disappear... and now that I don't I've noticed that this is not a problem (the dents).  I have no ripples as far as I can tell but then I don't look for them

I'm going to post my pictures on the other site. My screen name is Fore (have no idea why I didn't use Mantra!). I'll try and post them tonight but if not, it will be tomorrow night. Lilah, did your implants feel more stable after 8 weeks. I'm not sure if it's all in my head but I keep feeling like if I stood on my head (not planning on doing that . . . just an example ), my implants would move out of place.

Mantra - my implant does not move unless I push it (and even then it doesn't move much).  I think all the Allergan implants (gummy or not) have a tab that the PS sews down... I have to run now but will check out your pics later....

Manta-I just wanted to say I got to look at your pics, I commented there, but I want to tell you again-you look absolutely beautiful!! I reallly think your PS a great job. You have good placement and fullness and I see a LOT of upper pole fullness. I know it's an adjustment going from the TE to implants and accepting the new you, I'm goiing through it too right now. I just want to reassure you from an outsider's point of view you really do look amazing!

Heebie, if you go to Under Construction, it is currently on the first page. The thread I started is called from TE to Gummies.

Heebie J, it's very possible that was me! I had a single mastectomy in Sept/09 and then had a prophylactic in April/10. I think you must have found a very old photo that had one breast + one TE. My new surgeon removed that tissue expander and placed two new ones. The first surgeon was clueless and caused some damage.

Manta-everything you wrote about post exchange is EXACTLY how I feel. I felt so down today. I went to the store for the second time trying on bras. Nothing fit right or looked good. Even though I have rounds I don't see a ton of cleavage either. I would need a push up bra for that and I am told by my PS not to wear underwires. Furthermore I could not fill out a lot of the C cups either so I'm somewhere between a full B, small C. In clothes I look the same size as I did pre BMX yet the type of shirts I used to wear didn't seem right now. I just felt really wierd today, like it all suddenly hit me. I had high expectations like you. It is not that I am unhappy. I am so grateful for everything, for the cancer being gone. It's just that I guess this was the surgery that was supposed to make it alright, all the things I had to give up to get here. Oh well once again we must adjust.

Pics-mine are under sweetie2040  with the nipple sparing BMX to implants

Sweetie, I must be looking in the wrong area. Is it in the Under Construction area? What is the thread called.

After posting my message, I've heard from others who are feeling the exact same way we are. I think when I try on my cleavage-dependant outfits this weekend, it's going to be a downer.

I seem to have become cleavage obsessed. Any time I'm watching TV all I look at is the actor's cleavage and get a little green with envy. I know I will move past this and I guess it will take more than a week. My biggest fear is that when I go to see the PS, I'm going to burst into tears and feel like a complete moron.

Another issue I'm having, and I'm wondering if anyone else is going through this is . . . I cannot bring myself to use the word "breasts". Instead, I refer to them as my implants. Tonight at dinner, I was telling DH that I want to try on outfits before seeing the PS on Monday and that it's going to be very emotional for me. He said "you look great, you have beautiful breasts and you're cancer free." I immediately said "don't call them breasts, they're implants."

Not that I'm thrilled that others are feeling this way, but it is comforting to know that what I'm feeling is not unusual. I'm just not used to dwelling on anything. My norm is to have my emotional moment and then buck up, put it behind me and move forward. My mantra in life is: Life is a series of peaks, plateaus and valleys. When I'm in an emotional valley, I always say to myself, "just hold steady because a peak or plateau is just barely out of sight . .  but I'll reach it soon." So I'm trying to put one foot in front of the other, keep a steady pace and will hang on until that peak or plateau is in sight. I've only been walking for a week so perhaps I'm just being unrealistic in my expectations.

Lilah-thanks your a doll!

Mantra-under the pics just look for my name Sweetie2040-it's probably on page two. What you  wrote was so eloquently stated. I feel so much the same way. I am usually strong too and I knows things have peaks and valleys and know nothing bad lasts for ever. I just think sometimes when we are the in the middle of it and have all the emotions it's hard to see our self coming out on the other side, but we will. As for calling them breasts, I'm kind of like you. I keep saying implants, or my reconstruction. I miss my old breasts in a way. They were small but I knew what to expect of them, how they would look in bras and clothes, what would fit. Now I have to figure out this new me and how to make them mine and like them.