The Ticking Clock

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SpunkyGirl
SpunkyGirl Member Posts: 1,568
edited June 2014 in Stage III Breast Cancer

Does anyone here ever feel funny when people ask you how long it's been since your diagnosis?  I ran into a friend just tonight who told me that "the girls" were all talking about me the other day-how long it's been since my diagnosis and how I'm doing.  I can't put a finger on it, but I just didn't like it.  Sometimes, it just feels like there's a clock ticking in the background when people ask me about my cancer.  Even though I know I don't have an expiration date, it feels like it when people start talking about it.  We on these boards just know how life can take a crazy turn for anyone at any time, and I know it makes us really appreciate life more.  But sometimes.........

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  • Celtic_Spirit
    Celtic_Spirit Member Posts: 748
    edited October 2010

    The other evening, a telemarketer called from a local funeral home and asked me if I'd made "prearrangements." I'm not the paranoid type, but I admit that my insides fluttered, and I thought "How does she know I had cancer! Does she know something I don't?" I know that's irrational, but it really unnerved me. If she had called two years ago when I was in treatment, I think I would have come unglued.

    I haven't yet had anyone ask how long ago was my diagnosis. Most of my friends are back to believing I'll live forever. I believe it, too, most of the time. Except when funeral homes call...

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  • jenn3
    jenn3 Member Posts: 3,316
    edited October 2010

    I was out of the office training at our operations center for a few days.  When I returned and walked upstairs to another dept someone said to me "I was wondering what happened to you, we haven't seen you in a while and were hoping you didn't relapse".  Really??? 

    Yeah.....it does feel weird when people say things like that.  I know that they mean it with the best intentions, but it sure doesn't seem that way.  I guess if there is one good thing to come out of this is that we know what NOT to say to someone (not that I would have said it in the first place).

    Celtic - My DH and I laugh everytime we get the funeral home calls - we both look at each other and one of us always says "do they know something I don't"?

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  • LRM216
    LRM216 Member Posts: 2,115
    edited August 2013

    I cringe at the word "survivor."  When anyone refers to me as that, or asks me how I feel about being a survivor, I just about die.  I feel as though they are jinxing me.  I may be Stage 1, but I am triple negative and we all know what that could bring - at any time.  I was diagnosed at age 62, I am now 63, and I tell them - if I make it to 80 - I will gladly call myself a survivor.  They look at me as though I'm nuts.  But then again, going through all we go through, and all we live with each and every day, perhaps I am nuts!  I can thank cancer for that too.

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  • Bugs
    Bugs Member Posts: 1,719
    edited October 2010

    Totally get what you are saying, Bobbie. :)   I had more written...but it just didn't make sense so I deleted it.  LOL.

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  • SpunkyGirl
    SpunkyGirl Member Posts: 1,568
    edited October 2010

    Jenn,

    Whoa!  What your coworker said to you was so totally offensive.  People are truly clueless.  You should post that comment on "The Dumbest Things People Have Said to You" thread.  The next time you see him/her, you should say, "Hey, it's really good to see you today.  I'm glad you didn't get hit by a bus on the way to work!". 

    I try to temper my worries with knowing that there are so many people in the world who are suffering-who can't find jobs to support their families, are in abusive relationships, can't shake their addictions, etc. and I know I'm here to make this a better place for the people that come and go in my life.

    Hugs To All

    Bobbie

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  • SpunkyGirl
    SpunkyGirl Member Posts: 1,568
    edited October 2010

    That's what it is, Sherri!  I don't want to be known as Cancer Girl.  I love your "not long enough" answer;  I'm definitely using that one!  From now on, I'm going to be more vocal about not wanting to discuss it when anyone feels the need to bring it up.

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  • Texas357
    Texas357 Member Posts: 1,552
    edited October 2010

    I think part of it too is that "5 year" focus, and the general public's assumption that after 5 years you're cured.

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  • caaclark
    caaclark Member Posts: 936
    edited October 2010

    I really understand what you all are saying.  I am coming up on 5 years since diagnosis and just had a check up with my rad. oncologist.  I asked him if getting to 5 years means I only have one or two more years left without recurrence.  While I realize that I need to get to 5 years before I get to 10 years, I still feel like the general public thinks that 5 years means you never have to worry about cancer again.  We all know that is NOT the case.  All that being said, my dr. said that 5 years is something I should definitely be celebrating and that the more years that go by, the LOWER my risk of recurrence gets. 

    I actually used the term "Ticking Time Bomb" when I mentioned it to him.  When anyone asks me how long it's been I feel like that a time bomb.  Like if I say I am 5 yrs out, it just temps fate or jinxes me.

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