My pink problem

I also hate the term "survivor". Why? Because it is ONLY applied to cancer patients. How the heck did WE get so lucky (ha) as to be labeled thus.

Have you ever heard someone who didn't die from their heart attack called a "survivor"? Or heard such a person say "I am an X-year heart disease survivor"? Or diabetes?  I bet not; but according to Cancer Survivor Logic you should have. They all experience(d) the effects of a disease that could have killed them at the time but because of medical intervention it did not do so.

On a lighter note, about a month ago I went into a store and the cashier, seeing my Style By Chemo headscarf look, said with a big perky smile "I see you're a survivor!"     Some warped inspiration prompted me to give her a wide-eyed innocent look and say "Oh you must be mistaking me for someone else, I've never been on the show. Eating bugs is so not my thing!", gave her a bright smile, took my package and walked out of the store (perkily   ).

Leah, yes.  Those people are survivors. 

lovemygarden, thank you for a laugh!  

I've often thought of the "No Pinking" symbol too, but as someone else mentioned, it is all too easy for some people to misinterpret our feelings as if we somehow "don't want them to find a cure". Ha. As if.

I realize that the victims of many other serious diseases would love to have their cause get even 1/4 the marketplace attention that bc gets -- which raises this question: Do they too resent the Pink Marketing, and especially Pinktober, for that reason? I certainly wouldn't blame them if they did.

There is a fine line between awareness/fundraising and exploitation, and IMO the pink industry has crossed it. 

"Survivor"... to me it sounds like I've been in a plane crash.

Oh gosh Melinda, I sooo hear you on both the "brave" thing AND the responses. I don't consider myself brave, when all I did was cope as best I could with the unexpected and unwelcome hand that I was dealt. That's not "bravery", that's just living daily life as an adult is expected to do. What did they think, that I'd walk around like Cassandra prophesying doom, or be unable to crack a smile or a joke? Sheesh.

And yes the cluelessness about post-bc life abounds. I have a friend who calls every couple months since my dx and asks how I am feeling. I say "just fine" (because it's true) and that I have X more months to go of Herceptin but other than taking a couple hours out of every week it's no big deal. And every time, she says "So now you're cured, right? You had your surgery and they got it all, and the chemo is just insurance."  I just respond by saying that yes they removed the tumors and got clear margins and it hadn't spread to my lymph nodes, because I think it would be hurtful and upsetting to her if I gave the 100% honest response which would be that the word "cured" is not one that should ever be used to a cancer patient, since we know better than that. I also don't burst her bubble about Herceptin (she's under the impression that it "works" for everyone who gets it). 

I can't help but wonder if all the Pinkified images of bc have contributed to her "find it - get treated - life will be all good again" mindset. We need reality, just like we get on CNN etc when there's a disaster, or watching Michael J. Fox and comparing what he is now to what we remember him as being before Parkinson's. Yes those things are upsetting to see and elicit a gut reaction; they NEED to be. But what do we get? People smiling in a chemo chair, and cutsey pink ribbons slapped onto everything. Bleah.

As for the Facebook idea... I have to honestly say that I see absolutely no sense or reason in it. It does nothing useful to help anything or any bc patient. It's nothing more than yet another ultra-sanitized, politically-correct and useless display. The notion that X number of colored ribbons fluttering in the breeze would even remotely show the "true impact" of this disease is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard of: that it could ever convey to anyone else, in any meaningful sense whatsoever, the real-life cost of the disease -- not only in dollars and cents out of cancer patients' pockets but in the hours lost and personal hells experienced by each of us.

Also, these Facebookers should keep in mind that we who find the Pink objectionable have enough to deal with, being bombarded with the marketing in stores, on products, in the media, etc, without having to ALSO get it thrown in our faces every time we drive down the street! Where is any sensitivity to fellow-patients' feelings in this idea?? "Let's have a public head-count of how many people in our community are dealing what kind of cancer" -- for what? "Awareness"?

Awareness, schmareness. Enough already. Everybody "knows about" bc, just like everybody knows that if you smoke you're likely to end up with lung cancer and they didn't have to slap brown ribbons all over creation to get that message across.Oh but wait, they couldn't have built such an attractive and lucrative marketing campaign on that disease.

I like the pink...but when it is a pink ribbon pin, a pink bracelet or something similar to demonstrate that I've made it through breast cancer....I think people need to know how many peoples lives are impacted by this dreaded beast!!  I will not buy a pink vacuum, food processor or anything similar..that is just crazy....But as much as people know about BC, there are still some people out there in denial that it could be them next.  I did a health fair last year for Komen and a friend of mine stopped by....she told me that she doesn't need to worry about BC because no one in her family has had BC....well, I'm the history in my family!!!!  So for me, the awareness is to get people to take care of their health and get screenings etc.....I get so tired of hearing that early detection is the key....like it is a cure!!...well, I got annual mammos for many years and my first "bad" mammo ended up being a  stage 3 Dx......I don't just want a cure....that means people still get breast cancer....I want a prevention so it goes away forever!!! 

I am doing the RFTC in Israel with my DD #1...hope I get to meet Leah_S....I plan to wear my pink grass skirt over my regular skirt, a pink hat and some pink baubles (sp).....I want people to know I "survived" the horrid treatments and that I'm still here.....In Colorado the rate of BC is 1:7 vs 1:8 for the rest of the country....

Isn't great that we can all support each other and say what we think!!!  Karen

50 to 70% of women who get bc had no known risk factors. 

To me, it is and will continue to be, not about awareness, but education.

I will never shy away from telling people the truth about this disease.  They won't learn if I don't say something when they spout misconceptions.

Oh, my, such a soapbox I'm on this month!

Melinda:

Your post hit the nail on the head with a mallet!  And so very well written, and by reading all the posts, we all very obviously feel exactly as you wrote.

From the day I was diagnosed and on, I took every pink "anything" that I was given - from decals for my car, to a license plate frame that claims I am a "survivor," to pink t-shirts and tossed them all away.  I detested each and every "token" of cancer.  I already had it, I didn't need to wear it or decorate my belongings with it as well.

I am not a marketing tool, I am a real live woman that was pushed to the ground and run over by a thousand wild horses upon my diagnose and treatments.  I have risen to fight this beast of a disease, and I will continue to do so in any other color other than pink.

Thank you for your eloquent post.

Finally someone speaking my thoughts.  I hate this, I hate this, I hate this!  How DARE someone try to pick a 'color' for my experience.  I went undetected for years because my stupid Gyn apparently doesn't know about Lobular cancer, Dense breast Tissue and Hormone Replacement Therapy .....................and Doing an ULTRASOUND.  Same exact story for my sister in law.  So where is all the money going?  PINK BROCHURES that assure you 'everything is FINE........  I stopped wearing pink two years ago.  Did I mention that I hate this promotion at our expense?

Pinktober makes my head explode. DH came home this afternoon with spaghetti boxes adorned in pink. They are in the trash and DH is mystified.

HI Melinda,

I have joined the pink stinks club!  This is my first October post BC diagnosis - I feel used.  In addition, I'm really angry about the fact that many folks are getting quite wealthy on the BC train - the companies using the pink to market products to women, the charities who purport to raise funds for the cure but their CEO is making over $500,000 per year (About $150,000 more than the head of the American Cancer Society - a much bigger organization, more than double what Dr. Weiss earns with BCO, and a fairly high pay for ANY business) and who has 16 more executives making well over $100,000 - with 2 of those in the $400,000s.  In 2009 - that charity  -- whose name is everywhere this month - had those 17 employees making over $3 million combined - they have hundreds of employees.  And, in 2009, their revenues were down about 10%, and research grants were down another nearly 30% but salaries and benefits were way up.

When the h.ll did pink philanthropy become a line-my-pocket business? 

Educate yourselves.  Go to www.guidestar.org, register for free and check out the form 990's of your favorite charities - including the pink ones. They are not hard to read and compare the current year (2009) with the previous one.  Generally several years are listed.  The Form 990 is an IRS required submission and comes from the charity's audit materials, filled out by independent audirtors.  The first page is a summary, but you can scroll through the form and find the "top executives" pay - the name, salary and benefits are listed for each key employee.

Now, I work in the nonprofit world and am not opposed to a decent salary for hard working staff.  But I think a couple hundred thousand a year is more than sufficient for a charity leader (no matter how big the charity) to live a comfortable life.  A half million in salary is way beyond comfortable.

I resent that my and other diseased boobs are being used this way.

Pat

Coolbreeze, thank you, thank you, thank you!  I read your friend's blog and love every word of it.  You see I lost my mother to ovarian cancer on November 5, 2001 and ten months later I was diagnosed with stage III ovarian cancer.  I'm still here 8 years later and have been told that I've beaten the odds.  I feel very fortunate but also find it chilling.

I have posted on this site about how lonely ovarian cancer can be.  You don't have the support or the attention.  There are few women to support you because so few make it.  A Toronto television show a few years back had their entire audience made up of women who were going to walk in the annual "Weekend To End Breast Cancer" in support of the Princcess Margaret Hospital.  I politely emailed them asking if they could include other women's cancers in future especially as September is Ovarian Cancer Awareness month and this show aired in September.

I received a polite response saying they would consider it and, of course, nothing happened.  I am pleased to report however that the walk has this year changed to the "Weekend to End Women's Cancers".  Now that's progress.

As annoying as Pinktober is, it's better than being ignored.  I remember walking in Costco a few years ago and stopping dead in my tracks.  An ovarian cancer PSA was running on a TV and I had to stop in shock to actually hear anything about ovarian cancer.

So thank you again for sharing.

Thanks for the link, thats exactly how I feel.

Also caught the View and all their whine and thought the same. 

I'm a Pink "moderate" myself, but just wanted to add my name to those who enjoyed the insight of your post.  Amusing and too true!