May 2010 Chemo

Hi guys - only have a few minutes to check in and say hi.   I've been reading your posts on my phone and it would take me too long to respond to each of you.  We are still in Vegas and have spent tons of time at the Spa - WOW!  If you get a chance to visit Canyon Ranch spa, do it!  We saw Cirque de Soleil show "O" last night - truly amazing!  Unfortunately, my TE has rotated and something is causing me a lot of pain when I walk.  PS calling in pain meds for me this a.m.  It's affected the trip somewhat but we're making most of it.  It's our 20 yr. anniversary and I don't feel too romantic and certainly not sexy.  The 28 lbs haven't budged, don't recognize myself in mirror.  I borrowed clothes from GF so at least I have something that fits.  Patricia ~ bon voyage - hope you have a fabulous time!  Barb ~ HURRAY on final tx.  Paxton~ glad you're bouncing back.  Magda ~ said a prayer for your liver panels.  Denise ~ happy bday!  Thought about you yesterday - sounds like you have a full plate!  Make sure you're taking care of YOU!.  I loved the "And Then" idea (Jen was that you?).

Yesterday was 7th yr anniversary of my mom's death.  F Cancer!!!  (lung and bone).  It always surprises me when the day comes around that I have a tough time with it.  She was such an inspiration and I miss her sorely!!!!  All your stories made me appreciate and miss her that much more.   Sorry I didn't mention all of you - I even had my notes written out.  Have to go lay down...   hugs to EACH of you!   Daiva

Magda - I'm glad they lowered your T; yes, that should help you feel better!! 

Daiva - Vegas sounds awesome... sorry about the rotating boob and pain... geesh, the $hit we put up with!!  (((HUGS))) thinking about your mom... it's been 2 1/2 since we lost my Dad to lung cancer.... sucks.  Congrats on 20 years again... as for the weight; you will get it off . 

Denise - thanks for the info on Prozac... before cancer, I was a "hate pills" person... didn't take anything but vitamins and the occasional antibiotic... now, I'm more of a believer in modern medicine (yes, there is a bit of sarcasm in there, especially considering my career).... but, my point... if the mood swings get worse, I will consider Prozac!!  Thank you for sharing that.    I'll say a prayer for your blood work; and all the ladies on here!! 

Love you guys!  (HUGS).  See you all next week... I'm getting ready to go pick up my friend at the airport... and we (Ryan) have 3 practices between now and Monday; a football game on Tuesday, karate on Thursday... and surgery the next week... wow, time is flying.... less than 2 weeks.... eeks!! 

Good morning friends!  So we returned from a fabulous trip to Vegas.  We saw 2 Cirque de Soleil shows:  "O" and "Love".  Both were phenomenal and I highly recommend them if you get a chance to see them.  I had amazing treatments at the spa and some much needed time with DH.  Other than the tissue expander problem and pain (which I will have checked out today), it was a great time.  I'm glad we opted not to "squeeze" in a trip to Venice - esp. because I had a hard time walking due to the pain in my boob.  Has anyone else had a rotated TE?  I can hardly believe some of the comments I heard while away:  "my  mom had BC 4x - she was a survivor too, though she passed away at the end"; "my mom died of BC - what a horrible way to die.  I can tell you will beat it because of your strong spirit and the fight you have in you";  "sorry you have to go through this, I watched my sister go through the same battle" -  How is she, I asked.  "She died".  OK people, do you REALLY have to share this with me??????  Sometimes I wonder what the heck they are thinking?!!!

I have an appt at Hopkins re: my fills today; simulation for rads this week; and genetic counselling/BRACA testing Friday.  No dull moments.  I kept putting off BRCA testing because I didn't think emotionally I could handle knowing if I could be positive.  I need it now to determine whether I need the oopherectomy.  The thought of my teenage daughters having to ever go through this makes me sick!  I will have to just deal with it.

Denise ~ thank God for happy pills.  How long do the docs usually wait for port removal?  Girl, hope you're feeling a bit stronger each day.

Leanna~ Thanks for the hugs.  Sounds like a busy weekend.  I can't believe your sx is so soon!  I can't remember - are you going bilateral?  I wish I had my recliner when I had the sx.  A friend offered to lend me hers but we ended up buying one.  I lived in it after we got it.  Also, do you have one of those "Lets Dish" places near you where you can go and prepare a bunch of meals at once and freeze them?  You may want to consider that if you have such a place - might come in handy and your mom could pull them out and just bake them as needed.  Re: your mom - I loved the idea of making a list for her - even if it's simple things that are obvious to you but she may not think of.  We'll be here cheering for you and keeping you in our prayers, girlfriend!

Magda ~ glad they lowered your T.  I'm impressed that you are keeping up with work - not sure how you've been able to manage it all.   Hey, go easy on yourself re: the fatigue and wanting to stay strong, etc.  I'm trying to be kinder to myself because I have expectations of myself that are hard to live up to at times.  When I don't, I get down on myself and that's not right.  Our bodies are fighting hard and working so hard for us and we should talk to ourselves like we'd talk to best friends.  Btw, I think of you when I look at this beautiful Czech plate that my friend brought back for me from Prague.

Have a great day May Warriors!  xo  ~  Daiva 

Daiva Not to worry, easy does it - that's what I have learned during this recent time :-). I'm not trying to push boundaries, I just needed to make some phone calls, but I work from home and I just hopped out today to the pharmacy. Your holiday just sounds great - I have loved every performance of Cirque du Soleil, although I've always seen them on TV only :-). I hope and pray they'll fix your T's soon and that your genetic counselling will come out negative! And stop worrying about all those who keep telling you gruesome stories - oncology is no more what it used to be. Do come to Prague to buy some other beautiful plates :-).

Wow ..We all have become very quiet!   Is this is a good sign that we are all moving on with a more normal routine? 

I will finding out on Weds how long I have to keep the port in..probably through rads but hopefully not longer then that!  Still getting unbelievable bouts of tiredness..last night I made dinner then was to tired to eat it..Fridays blood work came out fine ..They just keep saying its the Chemo..and Colitis!  Have to keep telling my self each day I will feel better..and I do

Daiva..Hope your not still having pain with your TEs ..And your trip sounded so nice..

We have postponed any plans til Jan. now.  With a short trip Sat -Sun to Southern Ca for my daughters Recital.  That will be the weekend after my last rads.. hopefully it wont be any where as bad as I am now!   We do plan a short trip this weekend to the hills just east of here to get some apples and pears, I hope this won't tire me out any more..was going to pick but now just buy from the stands..

 Everyone that has returned to work hope you doing well..Everyone that has had and going to have surgery prayers for a quick recovery..

Just a quick note, most of you already know this, but for those of you that had chemo first.  When I had my BLM I recovered fairly quickly..coming home on only one Norco every 6 hours.. get lots of pillows and or a lazy boy with pillows too... I wanted to get out of bed pretty fast ands just sit up ..I had had enough of laying around ..but still sat with pillows around me.  And make sure you set your alarm to wake you the first few nights for either your tylenol or stronger drugs dont want to wait and feel to anything..The little heart pillow they give you is reall a good fit..if  you can get two, one for each arm if needed....OH yea take a valum the night before and the day of it helps a lot!

Have a great day!

 

DAY ...Kimloves...and  PackJenn...???? How are you all doing? 

Daiva...So do you just live with the rotation till you exchange? OK a black one now..lol  What is your real hair color?  Put a pic up! You look great in the red and the blond..I have not gone back to the wig store at all...because I know I'll buy another! The Colitis shouldn't come back but stomach and bowels are still a little unhappy.  but Onc says that will take weeks to clear up..still watching what I eat, not to much fiber..and such..stopped over cooking veggies, but still eating lots of fruit. and potato's..Did have Thai food last week..it was so yummy! And had a taco last night  again yummy...so far no reaction to .so that's good! Got the heart pillow after my mast is the perfect shape for under the arms.

 I went to pick up my compression garments at the lymph place today and wore them home...dang they are tight.. but supposed to be..Wore them from the office and to the grocery store.. by the time I got home I had to take them off, my arms were very achy..called to ask if it was normal ..No! ..but they want me to stretch the tops of them out over night and try wearing a couple hour on and a couple of hours off..see it it gets better...if not they will order me a different size..

I don't know if its me, but I cant stand to be uncomfortable these days...I have no tolerance for it.. I think I have had to be uncomfortable long enough..wont stand for it any more!  Anyone else feel this way?

paxton  Did you have TEs put in after your mast? Or a diep?

Ok nap time..I still get so tired.. but set my alarm so I wont nap to long and mess up my night sleeping..

Packjen  How much fatigue do you have?  Is it anywhere near the fatigue you get from chemo? I really don't want it to interfere with my trip to see my daughters recital..I haven't be able to hear her sing this whole year...Her coral conductor did let her stream live into one of their concerts before they left to Europe..That was so nice of him! 

Good night ladies!

Hi All- Here is my status update: Lumpectomy 2/26, Finished Chemo 7/9; Finished rads 9/16.  Started Tamoxifen 8/7.  Got the BRCA negative results.  Other than the Tamoxifen, I am in maintenance mode now doing naturopath, trying to eat healthier and getting back into exercising.

As far as the Tamoxifen goes, I haven't really had any side effects except that I seem moodier.  I am not sure if this is the Tamoxifen, post treatment blues, still being in chemopause or all of the above.  But that seems to be the biggest side effect for me.  Well, and I am having trouble dropping the chemo weight even though my appetite is more normal now.  My doc did say it would be harder to lose weight while on Tamoxifen and in chemopause and that certainly seems to be true for me, so far.  I am hoping the healthier diet and getting back to the gym will kick start the weight loss.

Leanna- One week til your surgery.  Yay!  The countdown is on!

Jeanne- Hoping things get easier with your Mom and that you feel well enough to travel on the 7^th.

Daiva- Your trip sounded great!  I haven't gone any place to celebrate yet.  My BF has a new job and no time off, so haven't been able to get away.  Hoping to get away with some of my girlfriends for a little xmas shopping/spa weekend maybe in Chicago in early December.  Sorry about your painful TE's!  Ouch!  But I love that you have a Chris Jenner wig.  I love watching that show in sort of a train wreck kind of way.  So far the supplements are good.  I love that the melatonin and adrenvive supplements are good for me and help me sleep!  Still haven't tried the fish oil, yet.  I am having a mental block with  that one!

Denise- I hope you can get your port out soon!  I was so excited to get mine out.  My rad onc told me I could get it out anytime before, during or after rads.  She didn't need it and it wasn't in her way.  I chose to get it out before...I wanted it gone!

Paxton - Hope you and Gage are having a good day! 

I am off to my 4 week post rads check up!  (((HUGS))) to all!  Beth (GolferGirl)

Ditah- You've had a couple of busy weeks!  Nothing like getting acquired to add some more stress..hope it all works out for the best!  I have an eye doctor appointment in 2 weeks and am expecting to get some glasses, too.  Bummer.  Funny story, when I went to renew my driver's license this summer, I had to take the eye test.  I was squinting and struggling and thought for sure they were going to tell me to go get glasses and come back.  But then the clerk said "Close enough"!  what?!?!?! I didn't know you could get a "close enough" on that test, but figured it was time to admit defeat and go to the eye doctor anyway.

Speaking of drivers license pics.  I had to have the picture taken this year and it looks absolutely horrible with the wig.  Bf saw it and said, "wow, that's a really horrible picture."  But he looks like a serial killer in his because he isn't smiling.

Denise,

I'm not sure I could compare my chemo fatigue with my rads fatigue.  With the rads I was a single mom for a month of the treatment (DH was traveling for business).  So every thing fell on me.  Cooking, cleaning, lunches, driving, laundry, everything.  The last week of rads hit me pretty hard.  Then again I had a 2 1/2 hour r/t drive every day.

 Now the fatigue is easier to handle because DH is home.  I can nap when I need to and he helps with the cooking, cleaning and laundry.

My status update:

finished chemo 7/12, hair is now about an inch long and pretty thick (I dyed it last week so it looks more like my old color.  Finished rads 10/5, still have a slight burn and am still tired.  Dr. says it will be 1-2 months before fatigue goes away.  I start Tamoxifen in a couple of weeks and will have an exchange surgery sometime early next year.  Still fighting some chemo SEs -- slight breathing issues, voice still sounds like a pre-pubescent boy.  Still taking pain meds and anxiety meds.  Need to work on my physical condition, hoping to start yoga classes soon.

Cheers,

Jen

paxton - i got my driver's license renewal form the week i started chemo and rushed out to do the photo straight away before my hair fell out - i didn't want a photographic reminder of this time in my wallet for the next however many years :-)

those of you getting glasses - i already had glasses, but my eyesight has also gotten worse. my onc says that it is a possible chemo SE (as if there aren't enough of them...), so it's not necessarily your age that has caused this.

Jean ~ great idea to have everyone update!  So glad to hear your son is coming home.  Are you getting implants during exchange?  Do you think you'll be recovered by 12/7?  That's not much time.

Jen~ so glad you're done with the rads!  

Beth~ I've been taking fish oil for years - really not a big deal.  I'm so interested in the adrenal stuff you're taking.  A GF get-away sounds perfect!  Was getting the port out painful?  Similar recovery to when you had it put in?  I have to decide when to schedule that.

Ditah~ great name!  What nationality?  Sorry if you mentioned it before - can't remember.  My glasses broke and I was told to wait to check my eyes in a few months due to chemo as well.  So I have readers all over the place.  I found great glasses (purple) and almost used my rx from 12/09 but decided to be prudent and wait.  Yes, chemo has messed with my eyesight as well.

Paxton~ sorry about the colds.  Sounds like you're bouncing back nicely though.  No need to rush on the recon.

Latte~ good thing you got your picture taken earlier!  I see pics of myself and wonder whose round puffy face I'm looking at.

Magda ~ what is Zoladex for?  So neat to hear what the chemo did to the tumor size!  Hoping you won't need rads.

Denise ~the wig was 30 bucks and I'm not sure I have the guts to wear it.  My real color is a blah brown with some grays (I think) - hehe.  The compression garments sounds no fun.  Yes, I hate anything uncomfortable - like spanx!!!  Tell us more about your daughter.  Guess what- we start rads on the same day!

So here's my update:  bilat. mx 3/26/10; last chemo 9/1/10; start rads 10/20 x 33; then tamox 5 yrs.   Will find BRCA results next wk and will determine if I need ooph.  DIEP 6/7/11.

I'm praying they were wrong about the $40 copay each rad tx - ouch.  Gotta call ins. today.  Simulation yesterday - was blue about it - not 100% sure why.  I just don't want more done to my body and am tired of being tired.  It is what it is and I'll take one day at a time.  It helps to hear that it's already behind some of you.  My TE are no longer painful and the rotated one will just have to stay like that til recon.  Really no big deal.  Hugs to all of you ~ Daiva 

Daiva  I was wondering about the Rads co-pay..but it turned out to be just one lump sum...not each visit..you should ask about that..So glad to hear no more pain in the boob..that will help lots with your mood..

I had to go have my glasses fixed today too! funny we all experience things about the same time...When I was there the eye Doc told me not to have my eyes check for a couple of months after chemo..He said sometimes your eyes will even be better then before chemo ..I cant believe that, for me, I am having lots of trouble seeing anything up close..even my huge computer screen is hard to read..

Today My ONC told me that she cant believe how well I'm doing after my hopsital stay..??? I'm thinking WOW  I feel like crap!    But she says that I'm doing so much better then she thought I would..She did tell me that rads tiredness will be nothing like the tiredness I am feeling now!  That was really good to hear!  On that note she gave me a big hug and said,  Unless anything comes up see about 2 weeks after your done with Rads..