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Enjoyful
Enjoyful Member Posts: 3,591
edited June 2014 in Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts

I'm on 40 mg Celexa and the depression is creeping back in with a vengeance.  I realize a lot of it has to do with the triple whammy of cancerversary/stage iv/BCMonth but I'm starting to get suicidal thoughts.  I do have an appointment with a psychiatrist tomorrow but good grief, how long does it take a new med to take effect?  Can I handle this for two weeks more? 

Any suggestions??  Is there an anti-depressant med that works beautifully for you?  Anything I can do short-term?  I do NOT want to be hospitalized and don't think it's needed at this point. 

Thanks for listening.

E

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  • lago
    lago Member Posts: 17,186
    edited October 2010

    I can't recommend any drugs but I highly recommend you find some company. You should not be alone. I also would consider calling your psychiatrist if you are having suicidal thoughts. This is not something you should take lightly or try to deal with yourself. You may not be able to wait till tomorrow for new meds.

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  • Enjoyful
    Enjoyful Member Posts: 3,591
    edited October 2010

    Thanks, lago.  I did call my PCP Friday to let him know what was going on; he made the psychiatric appointment for me and tomorrow was the earliest I could be seen.  My sister lives with me so I'm not alone, and she's aware of what's going on.  I've done everything I can.

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  • hrf
    hrf Member Posts: 3,225
    edited October 2010

    I'm using Wellbutrin (300 mg) and I find it helpful. I started with 100 to see if it agreed with me then moved up to 300. I don't notice any negative se's. Hope you feel better very soon.

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  • Enjoyful
    Enjoyful Member Posts: 3,591
    edited October 2010

    Thanks!  My sister mentioned Wellbutrin also. 

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  • crazy4carrots
    crazy4carrots Member Posts: 5,324
    edited October 2010

    enjoyful -- sending multihugs to you sweetie!  So glad you have your sis there but remember, we're all here in spirit for you too.   I think October is difficult for many BC patients.  It's my (and my DH's) birthday month so that's a mitigating factor :)  Otherwise I find I want both the month and all the BC hype to be over with.

    xoxols

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  • 1Athena1
    1Athena1 Member Posts: 6,696
    edited October 2010

    Enjoyful - I am really sorry to hear that you are feeling bad - with the cancerversary, etc.... it's perfectly understandable. IMO, what would be disturbing would be to NOT get depressed. After all, you want to live and that is perfectly healthy.

    Different meds work for different people, so I cannot give you a recommendation (besides which I am not a doctor). However, one thing to bear in mind is that you can still go higher on the Celexa dose if need be. You can also try Lexapro, which is a very close cousin. The problem with SSRIs is that they can take some time to work. Sometimes a doctor will add an adjunct medication like Wellbutrin. So I suggest that you discuss these options with your psychiatrist.

    Meds can only go so far, as you know, and I hope that you are able to talk about what you are going through in therapy. The fact that you are even mulling over the need for hospitalization - even if to reject it- is concerning, and you should ABSOLUTELY let your doctor know. Feelings and thoughts relating to hospitalization or suicide are not just black or white (yes or no). There are a million gradations, but all are meaningful.

    A good self-monitoring tool is to keep a mood chart so that you can tell how and whether a med is being effective.

    Good luck to you! 

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  • 1Athena1
    1Athena1 Member Posts: 6,696
    edited August 2013

    Enjoyful - I just wanted to add a few considerations. I am sure you and your medical team are already working in this area, but I wanted to bring it up: Are you on hormonals? If so, they also have a huge effect on mood for some people. If you are premenopausal, you might also be particularly vulnerable to PMS. This is only part of the picture, but hormone therapy can cause depression, as you know....This is why mood charts are so key.

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  • coonie
    coonie Member Posts: 7,618
    edited October 2010

    So VERY sorry you're going through this. I don't have any medical advice, but just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you and sending you warm and heartfelt hugs!!!!!

    ((((((((((((( Enjoyful ))))))))))))

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  • leaf
    leaf Member Posts: 8,188
    edited August 2013

    If you think its appropriate, there is the Suicide Prevention hotline in many places (to try to tide you over until tomorrow.)

    I know this is very tough.  We are holding out our hand to you.

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  • Enjoyful
    Enjoyful Member Posts: 3,591
    edited October 2010

    Thank you all very much for your support and hugs and suggestions!  I feel the love.  :-)

    Athena - I had my ovaries removed one year ago and am on Arimidex now.  I'm sure the abrupt shove into menopause did not help!  The Arimidex causes almost constant pain, too. 

    I'll dump all of my concerns on the psychiatrist's desk tomorrow and see what we can do with it, then come back here and report the results.

    Thanks, guys.  You came through, as always!

    E

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  • BarbaraA
    BarbaraA Member Posts: 7,378
    edited October 2010

    (((((Enjoyful))))))) Thinking of you today and holding you close.

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  • coonie
    coonie Member Posts: 7,618
    edited October 2010

    ((((((((( Enjoyful ))))))))))))) Thinking of you today! Hope you can get some answers

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  • leaf
    leaf Member Posts: 8,188
    edited October 2010

    We are all reaching out our hands to you.  Hope things go well today.

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  • 1Athena1
    1Athena1 Member Posts: 6,696
    edited October 2010

    Hope your pdoc (internet speak for psychiatrist) appointment went well!

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  • Lowrider54
    Lowrider54 Member Posts: 2,721
    edited October 2010

    Enjoyful...at certain times - things do creep back - it takes a little while for many of the anti-depressants to work - I think it may be more suitable for the short term to add an anti-anxiety med such as ativan, xanax or valium for a short time until anti-depressant kicks in and the stressers - cancerversary is a big one...settle down.  I just went through my first year metsaversay and it was difficult - all those feelings came back and it was like reliving one of the worst times in my life.  I manage with Effexsor and xanax and I did find adding an extra xanax at bedtime helped me sleep - if you are not sleeping, that has such an awful effect on the mind.  I started with both as I was a crying mess when I saw the psychiatrist for the first time.  The xanax helped until the effexsor kicked in and since some folks need both and no drug treats depression and anxiety in one pill, I will continue to take them in combination along with the pain meds likely for the rest of my life. 

    Hang in there girly girl...PM anytime - you can rant and I will read...great big cyber hugs to ya!

    LowRider

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  • Enjoyful
    Enjoyful Member Posts: 3,591
    edited October 2010

    So here's the deal....

    Got to the psychiatrist's office and started to fill out the current medication forms - 40mg Celexa, 1mg Arimidex, etc.  I took out the bottles of meds just to confirm, and guess what?  My pharmacy had filled Celexa for 20mg instead of 40.  They filled it on 9/15 and the depression started creeping in about a week ago.  I feel stupid, and angry, and 10 different ways of relieved to know that I'm not going crazy(er), just undermedicated!  I KNOW that pharmacy is staffed by idiots but I didn't check the bottle when I had it filled.  Stupid me.

    The psychiatrist called in a new Rx for 40mg and also gave me Seroquel to help with the loss of appetite and to boost the anti-depressant effect.

    Lowrider - I am fully Xanaxed, thank God.  I wouldn't have made it this far without it!

    Thank you all for your loving concern and support.  I'm feeling stupid, but hopefully on the road to sanity once again.

    Love you all,

    E

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  • crazy4carrots
    crazy4carrots Member Posts: 5,324
    edited October 2010

    E -- Change your pharmacy!!!  So glad to know that under-medication is the culprit.  You're not, not, not stupid!  Just too trustworthy, maybe......!  Are you going to the Rally to Restore Sanity?  Perhaps you don't need to after all LOL!

    Multihugs from Linda

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  • 1Athena1
    1Athena1 Member Posts: 6,696
    edited October 2010

    Enjoyful - glad you spotted the pharmacy's mistake. I never, ever leave without checking the bottle carefully. 

    Heads up - the Seroquel could make you sleepy.

    Hope you start to feel better soon. 

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  • Makratz
    Makratz Member Posts: 12,678
    edited October 2010

    I'm thinking of you too.  I do not have medical advice but wanted to let you know you are not alone.

    XOXOXO

    Linda

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  • Enjoyful
    Enjoyful Member Posts: 3,591
    edited October 2010

    Lindasa - I can't change my pharmacy!  My prescription drug plan requires I use them.  All hail the American system of providing medical care!  Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr..............

    Athena - You know, I usually check those things because I have 0 trust in anyone after my misdiagnosis.  This time I did not.  My bad.  I took my first dose of Seroquel last night and slept almost 12 hours straight.  Sleepy?  No.  Comatose?  Yes!  Hahaha.

    Makraz - Thank you!  Oddly enough, my pharmacy anger burned away about 50% of the depression, at least for right now.  Hopefully it will last until the right dosage kicks in.

    Sorry for alarming you guys with my own stupidity.  *banging head on keyboard*

    E, Who now has the L key permanently embedded in her forehead

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  • coonie
    coonie Member Posts: 7,618
    edited October 2010

    (((Enjoyful))  so glad things are looking better.

    Just don't bang your head too much or else you'll for SURE have problemsTongue out

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  • leaf
    leaf Member Posts: 8,188
    edited October 2010

    I've had both pharmacy errors and doctor's office errors on my prescriptions. There can be more than 1 source of outpatient or inpatient medication errors.

    When I've asked the pharmacy to call the doctor's office for refills, once the doctor's office refilled with a strength 1/4 that of my ongoing precription (for sertraline).  I took 4 tablets of the 1/4 strength/dose until I could see the doctor, since there was no reason why the doctor's office would have changed the dosage without informing me or seeing me.  The doctor's office changed it back again to the original strength when I saw them next. (They had made the error on the refill strength.  I guess its computerized.)  Another example: I just had the doctor's office refill my ointment with 1 tube/month instead of 2 tubes/month.  I'll have to check with them at my next appointment. (I think at my doctor's office, a nurse enters the prescription OKs, not sure though.)

    I've had the pharmacy make errors in transcribing directions.  I was supposed to take one strength MWF and another strength  TThSatSun.  They put one as MWF and the other daily.  When I pointed this out to them they said to get a new prescription-they wouldn't even check the paper prescription I gave them!!  I had looked at the paper prescription before I gave it to them, and it was correctly written by the doctor.   I could understand the first mistake, but if someone challenges what I did, then I do try to go back to the original and double check if I made a mistake! I was ready to call the State Board of Pharmacy.  I don't patronize that pharmacy branch anymore, because I want to avoid that pharmacist.  They also said it would take 3 weeks to get this ointment.  It was cheap, and I knew there was not a shortage. 

    I'm a hospital pharmacist.  I know mistakes are made.  I make mistakes.  We all make mistakes.  I'm not trying to excuse it.  There can be multiple sources of errors in prescriptions.  I'm sorry this happened to you.  On behalf of what's right, I apologize for this mistake.  Look at all the anguish you went through!

    Glad you were finally able to get some sleep, and I hope things get better soon.

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  • Enjoyful
    Enjoyful Member Posts: 3,591
    edited October 2010

    Coonie - Too late!  I now have L for Loser indented in my forehead!

    Leaf - You're right and I know this, yet still I didn't check.  It's my bad since I'm my last line of defense against errors. 

    Thanks again, everybody.  If you see me whining about the same thing again, remind me to check my dosage!

    E

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  • leaf
    leaf Member Posts: 8,188
    edited October 2010

    I don't see you as being a Loser, being bad,  or whining.  Quite the contrary.

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  • Bren-2007
    Bren-2007 Member Posts: 6,241
    edited October 2010

    E ... when 40 mg of Celexa wasn't working for me any longer, my doc upped it to 60 mg and added 5 mg Abilify.  That saved my life.  I thought I would never feel good again.  I believe Abilify is frequently added to an existing antidepressant.

    hugs,

    Bren

    PS ... I was on Seroquel for awhile ... damn stuff made me so hungry!! I'd even get out of bed at night just to find something to eat.

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  • Enjoyful
    Enjoyful Member Posts: 3,591
    edited October 2010

    Thanks, Bren!  I'll keep that in mind.  He prescribed Seroquel because of my weight loss but I don't want to gain too much.  I'll have to keep an eye on it!. 

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  • otter
    otter Member Posts: 6,099
    edited October 2010

    enjoyful, I don't think you were stupid.  I think you were doing an experiment -- a controlled clinical trial. 

    Look at it this way... You had been taking 40 mg, and it seemed to be working.  Then, suddenly, it wasn't working anymore; and it turned out you were only taking half as much. That's a nicely controlled and blinded experiment, where the subject doesn't know she's in the "low-dose" group until the code is broken.

    At least now you know your Celexa is really having a beneficial effect.  This is a good thing!

    otter

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