Mother may not have surgery for IBC

Options
DtrofRetiredOncRN
DtrofRetiredOncRN Member Posts: 5
edited June 2014 in Caring for Someone with Breast cancer

Hello to all. I have been shadowing this group since my mother's diagnosis back in July 2010. After yesterday, having gone to the surgery consult for Bi-mastectomy, I feel we both need a little more outside support and guidance. Mtr is a retired oncology RN of 35 years service. At 77 years young, she still has a lot of spunk. I have moved in with her since she started chemo. Ok, here is why she is considering not moving forward with surgery. She is an insulin-dependent diabetic with stable control, has high blood pressure, diabetic neuropathy and arthritis in hip in knee. Has completed 3 rounds of AC, one more to go.  She feels that her body can't handle another surgery, Already has had '98 hysterectomy,'99 benign kidney tumor removal,and '04 gall bladder removal.  Surgeon has suggested a late October surgery. Her remaining kidney function has decreased since her second round of chemo. Not much info around for women with existing health issues and BC. Any suggestions, thoughts? Thank you all in advance for having the site and forum to assist those who continue to fight and keep the hope strong.

· Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Comments

  • BrokenHeart
    BrokenHeart Member Posts: 241
    edited August 2013

    Hi,  I'm a daughter of a mother the very same age as yours and if there is one thing I have learnt is that at this stage of life and with BC, my Mother does know what's best for her body and knows how much she can or cannot cope with.

    That being said, I would never encourage my Mother to have something done that she didn't feel her body could handle, and neither would I attempt to stop her doing something she felt she could handle.

    I think most women with BC seem to sense what they can and cannot cope with, or that's my observation.  Given your Mothers profession, I would guess that she truly knows what is in her best interests.

    It may help to get another opinion, and also to perhaps suggest gently to your Mom that a definitive decision not be made yet until she is a little more healthy after the AC - and that was a gutsy chemo to take at 77 years young!

    I cannot help with the medical side - but only my opnion to another daughter with a Mom with BC.

    Hugs to you and your Mother ~Zeana

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • 208sandy
    208sandy Member Posts: 2,610
    edited September 2010

    Hi:

    Because your mother is/was an RN she is better able than the rest of us to know how much is too much.  My late husband was a diabetic with no kidney function - he was on dialysis for five years and your mother is probably thinking ahead to that - I had my breast cancer treated very luckily with chemo and rads and no surgery (because of mets to the chest wall) - the tumour disappeared (along with most of my breast) I was very lucky - I am 64 and am very nervous about any kind of general anaesthetic because many of us older ones don't do well cognitively afterwards so with all these worries and your mother's extensive knowledge of medicine and her own body I'd say let her make her best decision.

    Hugs, Sandy

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited August 2013

    I was able to avoid chemo and rads because I had a double mast. I was lucky. I found the masts WAY easier than I ever thought! I have various health issues that made a reconstruction surgery of 10-12 hours just impossible. If she is not going to have reconstruction, then as there are no bones, muscles or organs involved, it is relatively painless. I was in the hospital 2 nights (due to health issues) and I left with a Tyleonol 3 prescription that I filled only once the nerves started regenerating - at about 10 days.

    If she has had the chemo, she's had the worst of it. And that's what she saw in her career. I found my hysterectomy brought me to my knees in recovery! It was WAY harder than I had ever expected. She got through that. A mast would be a piece of cake.

    I guess I don't see the point of chemo without going all the way. Why put yourself through half the treatment?

    God bless and good luck.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • LuvRVing
    LuvRVing Member Posts: 4,516
    edited September 2010

    This is interesting.  I passed on chemo because I am a diabetic and was concerned about the very side effects that your mom has experienced.  I'm also surprised that the chemo protocol was AC, considering A's propensity to cause cardiac issues.  And I am much younger, only 60.  It's surprising that she would proceed with chemo then not do the surgery, which I also think would be a bit easier.  But it's her choice, for certain.  Is she considering radiation?  And has the chemo eliminated all signs of the tumor?   If not, would a lumpectomy be possible?  It's much less surgery.

    My mom is 81, and has mild dementia but none of the other problems people her age typically have.  If she had BC, I would not let her go through chemo.  Surgery and radiation, yes; but chemo, no way.

    Good luck to you and your mom!

    Michelle

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • DtrofRetiredOncRN
    DtrofRetiredOncRN Member Posts: 5
    edited October 2010

    Thanks to all who replied  to my inquiry. All comments and suggestions were very heartfelt. My mother has decided to have the surgery now. It is scheduled for the end of this month. However, the surgeon does not feel it is medically necessary to remove both breasts, only the affected one. Now, mother is devastated after having got her mind and emotions together to go through a BMX. I am in the process of obtaining a second opinion for her. I am also searching for other women, in their seventies that have had surgery. Mother requested to talk to someone who has been through the whole process and to hear their personal journey of survival.  Thanks for keeping her in your thoughts and prayers.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited October 2010

    I am so glad your mom is coming up to the end of treatment by getting a mast. How frustrating the doc would argue against a double! Many women have regrets by only doing one by having to wear a prophylactic. They would have to have a second surgery to get the other breast off. If she's not having recontruction, let her have the pleasure of being totally flat. No weight, no heat, no bra! I was only 50 at diagnosis but felt I didn't need breasts anymore....

    I was fortunate enough to have breast fed both my kids so breasts to me aren't sexual. They've done the job they were meant to do.....get the man and feed the kids! 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • DtrofRetiredOncRN
    DtrofRetiredOncRN Member Posts: 5
    edited October 2010

    Hello again. I am desperately still trying to find an IBC-er in her seventies, that has or is going through chemo and possible BMX. I had called the ACS, but they are still searching the volunteer list. It is going on two weeks. If anyone knows of a woman who would like to share her experience on the phone with my mother, it would be great.Thank you in advance.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Categories