August 2010 Mastectomy

Yes I think the numbness is saving me from the stabbing pains. I have a little in my upper left arm. I was told this can go on for a year. Sounds like yours is rather intense.

and I am in no shape to play badminton either.

Hello August Friends! 

Well here it is the first day of October--the last three months were quite a whirlwind or maybe more like a tornado.  We are all at least a month post surgery, have our surgical pathology reports filed away, have seen perhaps a radiation oncologist and definitely a medical oncologist and have our treatment plans underway. 

I've thought about all of this and after all the trauma and drama, after all the get well cards and flowers, after all the lovely meals from friends---well---now it's the rest of our lives!  I think I have to have a plan for that,too.  I know it takes time to come to terms with all this.  I have decided to do things for myself that I never would have spent the money on---it was always the kids needed something, the house needed repairs (I'm sure you can all relate!).  So---I am going to see a physical therapist, a nutritionist and signing up for yoga classes!

I'd love to hear from you all on how things are going--just a quick check in!

I had my first fill on Monday---it went well, although the size of the syringe was a bit daunting ( I think someone here pointed that out, so I was prepared---thank you August ladies! ).

Lago and Robin The rubber band feeling I can relate to.  The feelings are indeed strange, vague pressure and tightness.  I had a skin-sparing mastectomy and the lower part of my boob is numb and hard--it's hard to imagine at this point having anything close to a normal breast!  Ah, but I must be patient and trust that my body will heal.  I took a class in visualization 15 years ago when I was first diagnosed with lupus and to this day I still use those healing images so I'm going to do the same for BC!  Oh--- and if I ever make it to Scotland, I'd love a game of badminton!  I played when i was a child and just last summer was in a fun tournament at a summer family camp!  I swim for my exercise and have to be six weeks post surgery, so another couple weeks before I hit the water.

I get my OncoDx on Monday.  I am preparing to have chemo, if that is what is necessary---there is a part of me that would just have the chemo so I wouldn't wake up in a panic some morning thinking I should have done more. 

Dawney --  thanks for sharing your story about your oncogenes. This decision-making, oh my.  I have to do some serious research on just how the study of genes in the tumor can predict things---I tend to delve deeply into things---it's my way of keeping occupied so the fear is not so overwhelming.

Paula  I guess you will be getting your OncoDx sometime in the first week of October.  And how is your thyroid nodule?  You are in my thoughts for GOOD news.

Carrol2 and Lago You both start chemo on October 5---sending hugs and hope that all will go well.

Winterstorm  Lovely music--thanks for the links! 

Thinking of you all as we go through this TOGETHER!!

Mindy: I'm in good shape and "thin" according to the doctors. I'm also very small with skinny arms but I still have those flaps. I was doing all sorts of exercises to get rid of them prior to surgery. Granted they are a little worse now. I still have some of my biceps but those triceps are really hard to get rid of. I know for a fact that my doctors don't want me doing any upper body work outs for a while.

I haven't been back to the gym either. I have been doing power walks for an hour in the morning. I haven't gained any wait so far. Not sure what chemo will do to me. I assume I will retain some fluid that will put a few pounds on. 

Thing is you really don't lose that much weight in the gym. It helps but you also have to look at what you eat and  your portion size. I really loaded up on veggies and cut down on everything else. A portions size is about the size of your fist. Not all that much. It took me 7 months to lose 10 lbs and now I am at a good weight. (Yeah I know the doctors tell me I'm thin but I'm really where I should be. I'm about 10lbs heavier than when I was in my 20s).

Be patient. If you lose the weight slowly you have a better chance for it to stay off. The last 10 are the hardest. That's why it took me so long. 

and although I'm doing reconstruction my PS sent me to a place to get a mastectomy bra. In my case I didn't bother. Just got some nice camisoles… and dumped all my bras.

I too started putting things back on the higher shelves. 

I'm talking about the triceps muscles in the arm. You know the wings flaps when you wave. ;-)

I don't go near the weight machines in the gym. Too germy for me.  I just use the elliptical and the treadmill. 1/2 hour on each machine.

At home I used this book (http://alturl.com/k9r4g) and did most (but not all) the exercises. 3 sets of 10 reps. I was pyramiding weights lower body 5lbs-8lbs-10lbs. Upper body 8lbs-8lbs-10lbs. It will be a while before they let me use those weights again.

I bought the book 17 years ago. I thought she looked so old. Funny but I'm now a year younger than she is in the picture. She has videos out now.

And what is this talk about "in the day" I thought you were only 1 year older than me. Did you lie about your birthday on your profile ;D

Hi Carrol, I thought about physical therapy but I think now I am okay. How has it helped you? Yes I think I can manage a little bit of weights, something to experiment with and only perhaps 3 times per week or less.

lol lago. With regards to the weight machines, you could always wear medical gloves and masks! "in my day"... I'm not twenty-something anymore! I just haven't been active in 10 years and it's caught up to me. I used to be into cycling and running and backpacking and hiking and tennis and .... But running and backpacking aren't very good for the joints. And cycling, well... you might get hit by a car. I was young and stupid and am amazed at how fearless I was.

But I think hiking and camping are perfect. Not far from here is a nature sanctuary which is like an arboretum, like being out in the wilderness. Awesome! A friend of mine and I are going for a picnic there tomorrow.

I do I think I am physically prepared for camping lol.

I am 45 no spring chicken either lol

Sorry I deleted my post. I thought I was stepping on your toes, lago. But as you said in your PM, I was not. I am 50 not any older than that! I guess I'm just having a mid life crisis. Isn't that explanation enough?

Smurfie, I go to a support group that meets once a month. I've gone twice. No pink ribbons there. We had a speaker the first meeting I went to. This last one we talked. It really helped to talk to other women in real life about my concerns. Talked one on one and also as a group. What a big difference. But yes, this thread of ladies has helped tremendously. I'm looking for another support group so that I can go twice a month instead of just once a month.

I've found it very difficult to maintain my 'fighting weight' too.....I'm 53 and I've been menopausal for about a year and i've put on a bit - despite playing a lot of sport, walking dogs etc..... managing to not put any more on but losing it is very difficult. I'm hoping to lose a bit as I get back into my sport. When can we get back to the gym, doing arm things etc? My tum where it was 'skinned' doesn't feel righteither, i have sternum pain and along the lower side of my lowest ribs - vey strange.....

I'm jealous of you lago - taking no drugs at all, I'm still getting major spasms..... feels like a really tight nylon tie around my back and accross my nipples right now.... horrible....I think it's the muscles the PS moved - ugghh. I get to see my PS on 12th...... going to take in my human body muscles book and ask him exactly what he's done.

I've got a 'dogs ear' under my left arm, at bra level - wirse where the scar ends..... looks like flab but maybe is fluid..... it quivers if I walk quickly - horrid! My right hand side was a bit swollen but has gone straight back to normal, the scar is there but not too bad....

Anyone got puckering at the corner of the scars? My scars toward the middle both have puckering, pretty ugly try not to look too closely.

I'm feeling a bit the same Loves Nature, I've been very fortunate and don't have to have further treatment, but I've not really mourned....only felt relief so far....I sometimes think I might be heading for a fall at some stage.

Aren't you getting your first Chemo tomorrow Lago, you too Carrol? I hope it goes OK and that you both cope OK, and you've got all of us supporting you x

 peaceful evening to all

Robin

My PS removed the "side breast" along with the expander alloderm surgery.  I am pretty tight and lean from the arm pit to my bra line.  I asked him in advance to not leave me doggie ears.  I used to have a little pillow there, but it is gone.  This can be a real issue if you are a bit chunky monkey like I am.  I had read posts of ladies on this blog who complained about the dog ears on the sides.  My PS said when he does my maxopexy on the RB he will remove my side boobie there too so I match.  They can do this and remove your ears if you are unhappy during the reconstruct phase.  Down side is that I am also numb there.  Sunny, Robin Smurfie and Carrol, it is really good to read your posts.

Smurfie, the tears are a good thing.  Work will take your mind of off things and soon you will be focused on other work stuff.  Just be good to yourself and if you get tired, go home or take a small walk.   Wonderful news about the reconstruct.  I am still waiting for OncoDx and I don't know if I will have chemo.  If I do the reconstruct will be postponed for six months or so.  : (

Neulasta makes you white count go up. Your bones hurt because its the bone marrow that makes the white cells. It is given in a syringe.

I'm doing great so far. Chemo process started at 7:30 was done at 1:30. Just a little dizzy from the Benadryl.

Bobbies are numb. Arm pits are partly coming back although not enough sensation to shave… not that I can fully life my arms yet but getting there.

Total of 6X every 3 weeks. I finish Jan.18th. 3.5 months. I'm excited. I thought I would finish in Feb. an entire month later. My birthday is at the beginning of Feb. I'm excited to be finished before I turn 50. Now if only I can get out of radiation… I find out today.

I am experiencing a little heartburn but not to bad. Prilosuck (Prilosec) even perscription strenght has never worked for me. If it gets worse I'll need to call to change to something else.

BTW I haven't morned the loss of my boobs either. Granted mine weren't very big to start with. I'm more worried about all my hair growing back but if it doesn't I can always get the expensive wig. Yes they have an app for that.

Quick note: NO RADS!!!!

I'm so excited.

Carrol and I have been chatting through PM. We are on the same chemo schedule… chemo buddies although she only has 4 rounds, I have 6 + Herceptin. She posts in the "Starting Chemo in October 2010" as well.

Last night she was a little queasy (actually both of us feeling a little weird) but seemed to be doing OK. We are both waiting to see what kind of reaction we get from the Neulasta shot. It takes about 24 hours. I took mine at about 8 yesterday so I have a few more hours to go.

So far this morning I feel fine although I seem to be putting on about 1 lb a day. I assume it's water gain. If I add another tomorrow I will let the doctor/nurse know.  My tummy is a bit bloaded which will happen after I eat but I usually don't wake up to a bloated stomach.

The no rads thing is huge for me. Since it would have been my left side I was worried about heart issues especially since I am already doing Herceptin. I'm also worried about osteoporosis so then there was the rib thing too. And, possible long term effects like another cancer, complications to reconstruction, delaying this entire process. I'm sure I would have handled it just fine but so happy I don't have to do that journey. I mean I gave up 2 boobs, 14 nodes and I'm letting them poison me I needed some kind of a break. My treatment has been pretty aggressive so far. I think the clear nodes saved me from radiation.

Thinking of our ladies, who are meeting the challenge of further treatment. I'm sorry you have to go through that. Hopefully your side effects will be minimal, and you can put this crap behind you.

I'm amazed that some of you are having your exchanges this month. Shoot I'm stuck with mine till January!!!! Wonder why PS's vary soo much in their methods. Makes you wonder, don't it?