Anxious About Upcoming Surgery

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debbys17
debbys17 Member Posts: 26
edited June 2014 in Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts

Hi all. I'm hoping someone has words of wisdom, or just a strong shoulder to lean on. I will be going in for my exchange surgery on the 7th. While I'm thrilled to be getting rid of the TEs, I had some things happen during my NS BMX in April. One, I woke up with 2 numb hands, and now after 5 months I still have a bad left hand. I suffered compression injuries to both upper arms from being tied out for almost 8 hours. The nerve damage is healing very slowly - it could take up to 1 1/2 years before I have full use of my hand. The other - and I'm not sure if it's worse or not - The only man in the OR, the surg tech, was caught playing with my nipple while my PS was working on the other side. No one reported and it was discovered 2 weeks after surgery. Then a break down in communication and I didn't find out till 2 months after.

 So - to make a long story short, I'm finding myself increasingly anxious about the exchange. I know there will be no bad behavior - they will all be watched. But I just don't have that blind trust anymore. I'm also worried that I'll lose what I've gained in my hand. I have been assured that this surgery is much shorter and my arms will not be tied down. So there should be no more nerve damage. I'm just having a hard time sleeping and concentrating. Thanks for listening. I know there's nothing to do except keep moving forwward. It's just hard when others don't understand why I'm stressed.

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  • leaf
    leaf Member Posts: 8,188
    edited October 2010

    If I were you I'd be stressed, angry, and afraid all at once.  What an awful thing to have happened!

    I have not had a MX or TEs, so I don't know the risks there, but I have had a prophylactic 'Roto-Rooter' job inside my spinal column at C5-7 to clean out the boney bump and in my vertebrae to 'clean out' the boney bumps there.  Then, I had bilateral carpal tunnel surgery.  Once I put my hand into a box of cereal, and I couldn't feel a thing.

    I don't know if my situation is anything like what you have gone through, or will go through. Its now been 2 years since my carpal tunnel surgery. I do have decreased hand strength. I use rubber gloves or cap grippers to get some things done, but I am able to do most things.  

    Of course you're having a hard time sleeping and concentrating.  Who wouldn't.  

    No matter what happens, you will not be alone.  We are all here reaching out our hands to you.

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  • bcincolorado
    bcincolorado Member Posts: 5,758
    edited October 2010

    I totally understand your fear, even if you didn't have such a horrible experience to start off with! 

    I can tell you my exchange was at my PS office in a surgery center that is adjacent (I imagine he owns it and earns money off it).  I would have preferred the hospital but I wasn't even given that choice.  It was a SHORT surgery.  I checked in around 6:30 in the morning and was home by 11:30.  That was for paperwork, pre-op IV stuff, and recovery. 

    I've heard some women even go to lunch or out shopping afterwards!  I wanted to come home to rest.....but I am a big weenie about needles and it was a lot of stress just for IV going in!

    I wish you the best.

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  • debbys17
    debbys17 Member Posts: 26
    edited October 2010

    Thanks for your support.

     Leaf - it is very similar to what you were feeling. At least it's not both of my hands and my left is ever so slowly improving. It's just frustrating slow to do anything, typing, dressing, household chores. It has been a little liberating. For 5 months now my hair is just wash and wear. I can't hold the blow dryer. I might just keep my hair simple even when things improve. It's so much faster.

    Bcincolorado - Thanks for the positive words about the exchange. I'll focus on the simplicity of the procedure, and just remember to breath.

     I really appreciate both of you taking the time to respond. My story is so different from others there are many times I feel isolated. Thank you for understanding.

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  • leaf
    leaf Member Posts: 8,188
    edited October 2010

    I totally understand how frustrating it is to have weak/numb hands. (I also have another medical issue that affect my hands, including one condition that affects <200,000 in the US. So, yes, I have some idea about what it feels like to be isolated.)  I even re-learned to type (I changed from QWERTY to Dvorak keyboard layout - yes this decision is full of controversy, example http://dvorak.mwbrooks.com/dissent.html.  No, I don't know if Dvorak has helped or not.  But I sure don't want to go back to QWERTY on any regular basis.  I probably spend about 75% of my workday at the computer.)

    At my over-50 age, I finally figured out one reason why many disabled people may have a decreased social life - because it takes longer to do most things.  It requires imagination, as I'm sure you know.  I don't have a hair dryer either.  But FOR ME, daily exercise and rotation of movement exercises help.

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  • Dara_Diverse
    Dara_Diverse Member Posts: 5,144
    edited October 2010

    Hi Debby,

     I cannot believe what happened to you in the OR, that is scary. 

     I have also experience some numbness in both my hands and feet since my bmx. I thought that it was perhaps related to my elevated blood pressure.  I see my primary doc today and will find out what is happening.  I am also having great difficulty with mobility in my arms and hands.  I see a physical therapist tomorrow and am praying that this will help.  

    I wish you all the best with the exchange.  I am not there yet but wish you all the best.  I have heard that it is very easy especially compared to what we have already endured. 

    I love this site, I wish doctors would send us here upon diagnosis.  I have two friends from work who went through this before me and was lucky to have them there for me to answer questions but not everyone has good friends with BC.  I am spreading the word about this site and telling my docs to send their patients here for support from our surviving sisters.

     Let us know how the exchange goes.  And remember again, this is nothing next to what we have been through.

     Peace n love to you and all of my sisters!!!

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  • Dara_Diverse
    Dara_Diverse Member Posts: 5,144
    edited October 2010

    *

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  • debbys17
    debbys17 Member Posts: 26
    edited October 2010

    Hi Leaf - Thanks for the tip about the keyboard. I'll have to look in to it. I'm also going to try the Dragon Naturally Speaking software. Have you tried it? I am also on a computer all day, and my hand makes everything so much slower and more frustrating.

     Dorothy - Thanks for the positive words. Yes, it is pretty scary to think about what happened. This time I will have a nurse assigned to me. Her only job is to make sure I am treated with respect until I'm back with my family. I have found it hard these last couple of weeks to sleep alone. My husband works out of town during the week, so I haven't been sleeping well at all. I'm sorry to hear you're having problems with your feet. Hopefully it will get better. You're the 1st person that has told me she's had numbness problems too. I hope physical therapy works.

    Thank you both for the good wishes. In less than 48 hours the exchange will be done and I can start putting all of this behind me. Take care. I'll let you know when I'm home and doing well.

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  • Dara_Diverse
    Dara_Diverse Member Posts: 5,144
    edited October 2010

    Ms. Debby,

    I am checking in to see how everything went with your surgery.  I hope all is well and that your hands are working perfectly.  And tell us, how do you like your new girls lol??

    Take care, hope to hear from you soon!

    Dorothy 

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  • leaf
    leaf Member Posts: 8,188
    edited August 2013

    Hi debbys- hope you are doing well.  I haven't tried Dragon Naturally speaking.  For now, computer entry isn't stressful.

    Hope you are doing well!!

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