Starting Chemo Feb 2010?

Hi, everyone - Faitfulc - thanks for the info.  I definitely am trying to eat healthier and those are good rules for everyone.  It's good to hear how everyone is doing.  I have two more boosts to go in radiation and then I'll be done!! Woohoo. On to Tamoxifen for the five years.  Definitely feeling a bit underwhelmed with the end of treatment business.  Feel like I should feel gleeful, but I just feel sort of numb.  It's anticlimactic and after everything we've all been through, it's very strange.  There was an article that I read that was passed through the Radiation beginning in August discussion board and it really hit the end of treatment issues right on.  I'll pull it from there and share it here.  I can't thank all of you enough for being there to support me like no others could during our treatment.  It gives me tears to think of what we've been through and I wish I could meet you all and give big hugs.  Mo

Hi ladies, wow, even though many of us are done with chemo, the lingering SEs we all share. oh joy. I too walk like a toddler when I first get up, and the aches and of course the hot flashes.  Fortunately they are all very slooowwwly receding.  I'm in radiation - I find myself internally saying "die! bastards die!" when the "BEAM ON" light comes one.  It occurred to me today that although radiation is a drag, like others, I think it will feel odd not feeling like I'm doing something pro-active to fight, even if it's against hopefully what is already totally eradicated through chemo and surgery. I've been in fight mode for 8 months straight now.  Hmm.

On a lighter note, hair is growing back fast - came back dark. whew! woohoo! using topical biotin - will never know if that is helping, but certainly isn't hurting. strange facial hair though, a new phenomenon.  Still doing the wig thing too.  But can at least run to stores and go topless when not at work and not feel like I"m inviting those sad (trying not to stare) glances. 

It's good to catch up with everyone.  I get a lot of those morning aches too, but they seem to be getting better as time goes on. Also noticed my skin seems drier than before chemo. 

I never realized just how many wrinkles I had on my neck until I lost most of my hair! I've started some facial exercises, probably in vain, but who knows. The hair growth is going great.  I've got about 2 inches of wavy auburn hair, but I still don't like the way I look with short hair. Not that I'm complaining, but I feel like I've got a pumpkin sitting on my neck, right in time for Halloween.

Ado, I had a strange lightheadedness last summer then some again this summer. I, too, got worried when it came back this year.  But this year it went away after three weeks whereas I had it most of last summer. I thought maybe it was allergies or even anemia. I know after my last chemo in April, I was anemic.  I took some iron + vitamin C for a month, and my recent bloodwork showed I was no longer anemic.  Also, you mentioned a possible yeast infection. I had a yeast infection after my exchange surgery this summer, right around the time I was lightheaded. The doctor gave me a pill and some cream, which cleared it up. And, I never had the lightheadedness again after that.

Faithfulc, thanks for the list.  Most of that I'm doing now, and I've added a few. I'm buying organic dairy, fruits and vegetables most of the time. I'm amazed at the selection now and how prices have dropped. Also, I'm eating cruciferous veggies almost daily and have added turmeric to my diet. I'm cooking more too, making things like homemade tomato sauce and banana bread. Also having at last one pot of green tea per day with a little lemon. And I'm making good on my promise to myself to eat salmon at least twice a week for the omega-3s.

I'm back to exercising, mostly non-strenuous yoga and using my Sansone walking DVDs. It's still not cool enough to walk outside.  I'm taking the time for meditation, which is helping me to stay calm and sleep. I'm finally sleeping well!  The hot flashes are still there, but not as often or as intense as before.

It's strange, but I'm feeling really happy these days. I'm thinking it must be because I feel as if I dodged a bullet and am still around to enjoy life. I turn 50 a little over a week from now, and I'm just so thankful to be here to usher in a new decade. I joined a local breast cancer support group, something I never thought I'd do because I'm not a joiner. But these women are amazing, some more than 20 years since they've battled bc. I think seeing them has made me realize that many of us go on to live long, healthy lives.

Take care, all!  

Cindy

Oh, and one more thing-- what do we call ourselves?? I really don't like "cancer survivor." To mean, "survivor" implies an intense accident, like a plane crash or skiing off a cliff. What are you all calling yourselves if you're post-treatment and NED (no evidence of disease)?

Grateful is what I call myself.

 CinD thanks for the info re lightheadedness and yeast it is so good to be able to share worries and I feel so much better since I posted my concerns on here. I have cut down on sugar and wine and have already noticed a difference. I am asking my doc for the anti yeast treatment when I next see him.

cancer thriver

i heard that today

i kinda like it

Colleen, thanks for the birthday wishes!  Last year when I thought about turning 50, I was a little down thinking about aging. Now, I see it as a sign of longevity and am thrilled. I started feeling a little depressed 3 months after treatment ended (I only did chemo, no radiation), but I think part of that was because my reconstruction surgery was being put off. Once I had the surgery and the major soreness wore off, I started feeling upbeat.  I'm glad to hear someone else has a sense of happiness after going thru this. I've been on Tamoxifen since May, and I was worried that having suppressed estrogen would make me depressed. That doesn't seem to be the case, and I'm even wondering if it's preventing the ups and downs normally caused by estrogen, making me calmer.

It took me longer than most to go without a headcover. When my hair got to the length sported by Dame Judi Dench last month, I figured it it was good enough for her, it was good enough for me. Now it's puffing out, which I know it has to do to get the length going, but it makes my head look big, hence the pumpkin look.

Ado, that's great you're feeling better without the sugary stuff.  The doctor also told me to up my yogurt intake. 

Riley-don't let the Tamoxifen scare you.  I haven't had any side effects other than an increase in the frequency of my hot flashes (which started during chemo.)  Glad to hear your surgery went smoothly!

Hi, everyone - miss our daily talks, but it's a good thing we're all moving on.  Just started Tamoxifen about an hour ago - kind of nervous, but hopefully that will pass.  Stopped herceptin due to my heart issues - I'm in like the one in a million group who experience what I had with the heart and it was really scary - didn't want to continue damaging my heart with the herceptin, but I really wish I could have stayed on it because I do appreciate how effective it is - oh, well, let's hope all the other stuff worked!  Anyone coming to Philly for the breastcancer.org event with Harry Connick?  Mo

I've been on Tamoxifen for a month now and I feel fine. I had hot flashes during chemo and still have them but they're not awful. My knees have been hurting and my hands are stiff in the morning. My husband says I've been meaner since I started T but I don't believe it! I'm trying to avoid any weight gain so I've been watching what I eat and walking every day. My spinning class starts in 2 weeks so that should help, too.

Oh, Michele - I'm so sorry to hear this.  We will all be here to support you through your next round and hope that you keep in touch so we can know how you're doing.  This sucks, I have to say.  There's no other words for it in my book.  Big hugs - Mo

michele...so very sorry.   but hang in there & we will be here when you need to vent.

your news makes my little complaint pitiful, but here it is.  went to the store yesterday..make up on, foob on, baseball cap on .. looking as good as i can at the moment.  this woman in line ahead of me decides when she gets to the checkout she needs something else, so tells the cashier to go ahead and wait on him (gestures at me) while she shops some more.  nearly burst into tears right then, but waited until i got out to the car.  just a little setback in the emotional recovery process.  grow hair grow!!!!  eyelash stubble isn't growing very fast either.  snif...

getting ready to head down to arizona for the winter--can't wait.  got the dog into school to try to reverse some of the negative behaviors he aquired while i was in treatment & felt too crappy to train the little monster.  dh is sure he is going to get us kicked out of every rv park from here to there.  he just got real protective of me, so hoping the trainer can help us out. 

ta ta

Thanks, ladies. Time to put the "big girl panties" back on. Le sigh.

Grdnslve, I know exactly how you feel! One lady behind me in line one day tapped me and said, "excuse me, sir. . . " then when I turned around and she saw I was a woman, she looked like she wanted to crawl into the floor! She apologized profusely, and almost cried herself! It doesn't happen often, but if it happens again, don't make a big deal out of it, just make sure to verbally acknowledge the person. They will suddenly realize what they did and then get this look of mortification on their faces! Not that you would purposely want to embarrass anyone ! 

Michele, I'm sorry; that sucks massively.

Michele - I'm so sorry to hear this. My heart and prayers go out to you and for you.

You will get through this. We're all here supporting you!