May 2010 Chemo

Latte - I had one node biopsied, and test positive... and my onc says all the nodes have to go.  As for the lymph node transfer; I haven't looked anything up on it.... just going on what the PS told me yesterday. 

Hi Ladies!  The throat tightening/constriction is "radiation esophagitis" (rad onc dx'd it yesterday after I gave the symptoms to his nurse).  When he saw me today (moved up the weekly meeting from Thursday), he said the radiation is hitting part of the esophagus, but he doesn't think the problem will get worse (also did not order any change in the treatment field).  He also didn't think it was bad enough to give a script for lidocaine syrup.  Meantime, I'm supposed to avoid really hot/cold food/drinks.  As my cousin Joey would say, "Fuggedaboudit!"  I'm not giving up my tea in the morning after finally being able to enjoy it (well, I guess I can let it cool off a bit before I drink it!).  9 down, 21 to go!

Leanna:  Sent you a message on FB.  Also, I found this article on lymph node transplant after bc surgery ~ being done at St. Francis Hospital in Charleston, SC by Dr. Marga F. Massey:  http://www.ivanhoe.com/science/story/2010/03/686a.html!

Sacphotomom/Denise:  I PM'd you.

Summer/Theresa:  A week of rads behind you already?  How great does that feel?  I noticed the pink starting up before the end of the first week.  Today was # 9 for me, & I'm starting to feel as if I was out in the sun a little too long. 

x-ray/Daiva:  I ordered the sleeve & the gauntlet (for the hand) for my flight to Ireland.  My index finger is still swollen from my mishap on July 4^th when I used the L hand to try to pull myself out of the lake on the dock ladder, so I'm not taking any changes.  I looked on line for products ~ many must be purchased at a dealer.  Some available on line were just plain boring.  I decided to order from LympheDIVAS because they had really colorful items.  I opted for the dragon & lotus tattoo pattern!

Have a good evening, everyone!

Today is the first day I could get back on the internet.. I'm still in the hospital but maybe going home tomorrow..I had Issues with my port it wouldnt give blood so my nurse went and got another nurse to see if she could get it to work..this nurse came in dumping all the stuff she was going to use on my legs..all the while saying What is this?  I havent done this is a while! I dont need all this stuff!. She seemed to have way to much cofffee in her,, after trying to get it to release the blood.... she decided it was a good time to replace the needle any way....When she was cleaning the site she took off her glove to open something and then she touched my port site with her bare hand and said oops! ha ha ha  guess I have to clean that again. ..after 4 attempts she gives up and decideds she needs permissin to get a IV in place til the morning when someone can do it for me...  I told her didnt want an IV because my veins are not good and she can''t use the other arm .then I said I  refused to let her do it ...she went to go get permision for the stuff to put the iv in..I went into the bath room and broke down the nurses aid came in as I was coming out and I told her what was happening. she went and got my orginal nurse.....I told why I was refusing an IV. and what the other nurse had said and done...I told her I have had enough pooking and asked her for a valium..she came back with the valium and told me they were not going to put it in and let me rest for the night..I was at my wits end when it was all said and done it took a long time for me to calm down.  next morning the ward manager came in ask me what happened...I told her ...I felt bad for the nurse that has been nothing but wonderfull to me this whole time I think she got in trouble too..

I was sent me down for x-ray to see what was wrong with my port....NOTHING but they but some stuff to desolve fibers in it.  after almost 10 hours without a drip I was to dehydrated. so after 8 bags of potassium and 4 bags of magessum and more drips. today is the first day of real food. and if it stays in I might get to go home tomorrow.. k the internet is being weird again

sorry for any missspellings and run on sentences but had to type fast..

thankd t all of you who responed to my manic posting numbers...I will try to get on again and respond....

denise 

Daiva -   Sent you a message!!

Good morning ladies!

Denise I hope you'll be able to go home soon! As for incompetent nurses, I know how you feel - I don't have a port, but once had a nurse try three times to put in my iv, before she finally called someone else... I'd have given you my phone number too, but with the different time zones you're asleep when I'm up and vice versa. Relax, you'll be getting better and better!

Leanna PM'd you on Sunday - hope I helped with your issue :-). Lymph node transfer? Keep us posted, they'll probably be taking some of my lymph nodes too, so I want to look into this more closely.

Tess I'm trying to put together a paper on some chemical analyses I made before my dx, but the calculations are a bit complicated and I need to polish everything up for the peer review :-)

Theresa I need to see my workplace at least once a week too, makes me feel "normal", so I see we're on the same wavelength :-). And some things just can't be done over e-mail.

Patricia My maternal grandfather once ran away from hospital (he had a broken leg) in his pj's, showed up at my uncle's and said they were going to kill him :-).  So my uncle took him home and his leg heeled anyway. And my grandma used to say she wanted to die at home rather than there... which she did, God bless her soul :-)!

Best to all of you!

I'm being sprung today ...probably take all day but Yea!..every thing seems to be back to normal ..

well ast least  chemo normal....Who knew I would be glad for just Chem SE's..

Greetings Everyone,

Sacphotomom  Sorry to hear you had such a bad hospital stay. Glad you are getting out of there today.

Irishtess  I didn't know the compression sleeve could be used to prevent lymphedema on a plane.  I should look into getting one while I have met my catastrophic for this year. Also interesting article on lymph node transplant. Had never hear of that before. I am having trouble swallowing pills and I haven't started rads yet.  Mine is irritation from the chemo.

Lenna My onc gave me a Rx for Silverdine cream to use on my nails.  It is a burn cream.  I used the Elasto-gel gloves on my hands but did not use them on my feet so I am still using the Silverdine.  They said to use it for 2 months after chemo

LibraryJenn  I also used the Elasto-gel gloves on my hands, but did not start using them until the second treatment, so I went one treatment without them and my nails are fine.

I finished my last chemo 3 weeks ago.  I had my rads work up this week.  I got no restrictions on deodorant, but they took me off of any supplements with hight antioxidants.  They recommended a cream Calendula by Boiron.  What creams did anyone else get?  My rads will start next week.

We went to FL for a week after my last chemo.  I got out and walked on the beach everyday. 

 Last weekend we went to watch bull riding and I got to meet JB's sister.  She took me behind the scenes and I got to chat with their Mom and hang out with the riders.  Jessi's husband came out with a bull rope.  I had never seen a bull rope up close so Shane put the rope over my shoulder and Jessi took a pic and posted it on facebook.  Shane is the #11 bull rider is the world.  How exciting is that!  I got to see JB again and he has now moved up to #2 and is only 64 points from the lead.  JB's perseverance is getting me through this trying time in my life One jump at a time.

Denise: Wow...glad you're getting out.  They rarely get blood return on my port so I don't even let them try unless I'm already hooked up.  I had to laugh though when I got an IV for my PET scan.  I could just tell the nurse was going to screw up.  She just seemed kind of dingy.  She blew out my hand so I made her use my arm; figured with a vein that big even she couldn't screw it up.

My dad flew up for another visit.  I was pretty surprised since he was just here a month and a half ago.  Guess he got a good deal on the flight and rental so couldn't refuse.  Gage was just starting to walk the last day he was here before so now it was fun for him to see him running around.  BF is heading back to work so I'm trying my hand at taking care of him full time.  Boy its exhausting.  Explaining why I haven't been online much. 

I'm trying really hard to eat better and doing a good job about half the time.  I'm cutting myself some major slack for the stress of readjusting to life.  I think once I feel stronger, it will be easier to exercise regularly and eat better.  Now I'm just trying to survive.

Well, best of luck to every one.  What a ride, huh??

good afternoon all:

I am writing from work because once again my computer is down at home. I haven't been on much. First off got wicked toothache. Now have to endure root canal(yikes) in two weeks.

My mom went in for some stents and a to correct valves in her heart. during the cath they nicked her artery, she almost bled out..They put her in rehab after the hospital and she his coming home to my house when she gets out. It has kind of been a nightmare lately. I so wish this year was over.. I just keep thinking once 2011 hits, all will be good. Mom is 84 years old and prior to going in the hospital was driving herself, going to movies, shopping etc. Now she can barely walk and needs constant care.

Anyhow ladies. I once again have to cancel our weekend outing in October. At this point I cannot leave my mom alone. Our family needs to hire a health care worker for her while I am at work. Not sure how long her recovery will be but we can only pray.

I am so sorry I have to cancel but swear we will do this!!! At this point I am going to shoot for next year. I usually have the house closed up by  November 1st. no one goes down in the the winter and it is silly to pay heating bills.

so please accept my apologies but it was unavoidable.

So many posts I missed but Denise:  my goodness,,hope you are better now...What a shame you were in the hospital.

Cheers to all who have finished or winding down...I am six weeks out of last treatment. Starting to feel better ...Truthfully If I had my hair, I would feel normal pretty much again.

Have great weekend and if my computer is working, will try to catch up on posts.

Theresa Thanks, I feel better today, I guess we all go through highs and lows, but we needn't give in! BC won't get hold of me and my mind :-). I'm keeping my mind on Monday when I have a sonography to see how the tumor shrinks. It's impalpable now, so I hope there will be next to nothing on the screen!

NJB I'll pray for you both too! Glad to hear you're getting better and better and hope that your Mum will recover soon too!

Hugs to everyone!

Hello Everyone!  I've finished 12 of 30 rads!  Although I still have the tightness in my throat when I swallow, it's not too bad.  Weather here today was cool, but sunny ~ really beautiful.

Latte:  Magda's right - folks who haven't gone through this can't appreciate the bone-crushing fatigue.  Is there anyone who can give your dad some info so he can get a little more insight into what you're experiencing?

Magda:  I'm sorry to hear about your past week.  We really walk on a tightrope through dx, treatment, & just living with bc:  tough cancer fighter on some days, emotionally fragile on others.  It's no wonder you hit a wall, especially with the death of someone you liked & admired.  I also felt more "unhinged" during the last few txs than earlier, & couldn't figure out why until recently.  Here's how I explained it to some of my non-bc girlfriends:

At some point after my 2^nd Taxol infusion, though, I retreated, like a little hermit crab, into the shell of my pre-breast cancer self. I did not want to see anyone, or talk with anyone.  Everything reminded me of what I was going through, and I simply did not want to think about it. It's not that I felt sorry for myself.  Rather, I was slowly, painfully, coming to understand that breast cancer is a chronic condition ~ neither surgery nor chemo nor radiation will change that fact.  Finally, when I accepted this realization, I crawled out of the shell, tossed away the mourning crepe, and said goodbye to what I had lost.

Hang in there!  Oh, I loved the story about your dad & the wig!

njbhwgirl:  Jersey:  I'm so sorry about your mom, & all the additional worry & stress you're going through.  Just concentrate on her & don't worry about us.  We'll all be here next year. 

Paxton:  You have your hands full not only with recovering but with Gage, so I'm glad that you're not being as hard on yourself as you were earlier.  Eating well half the time is better than no time!

Sacphotomom/Denise:  Glad you're home.  More later.

Summer/Theresa:  So, now you've finished 10 of 25!  Good for you, & glad you're not having any issues!

wellsey66:  I can't count how many times someone has said "one day at a time" (re getting through this) & I immediately think "one jump at a time!"  Thanks for that!  BTW:  How did you get into bull riding ~ & JB in particular?

Have a good evening & a nice day tomorrow!

I have been trying for an hour to get a photo to post here and it just isn't working.  I was going to post a photo of my hair 4 weeks ago vs. today.  OMG what a difference a month makes.  It almost looks like a hairstyle "choice" now.

I have 2 more rads sessions to go.  I have been using Emu Oil 2-3 times per day since the beginning and I was fine until about a week ago.  I now have a bit of a "sunburn" mostly under my arm.  Since I don't have nerves under there it doesn't bother me too much.  I have applied some fresh aloe from my plant and hope that helps.

Yesterday a friend asked how I would celebrate finishing rads.  I just told her I'd rip off these stupid target stickers (I refused tattoos) and then see the plastic surgeon the next day to talk about replacing my tissue expanders with implants.  I feel like cancer should be called the "and then" disease.  Double mastectomy w/partial recon, and then chemo, and then rads, and then another surgery, and then hormone therapy, and then...

My husband has been traveling on business for the past 3 weeks and we have one more week to go til he comes home.  So I have been "single mom" to my 8 year old twin girls.  When people ask me how I am doing I tell them I am tired.  But who can say if it is from rads or being a single mom or what?

I have a question for you ladies.  I have been wondering when do I go from "I have cancer" to "I had cancer"?  Where are you in that mental journey?

Jen

Daiva: have fun in vegas.