Divorce cancer and insurance - any ideas?

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nextstepsfromhere
nextstepsfromhere Member Posts: 26
edited June 2014 in Life After Breast Cancer

Hello.  Have made it through the whole 9 yards of chemo, double mastectomy, radiation and hysterectomy....things are looking up....and the reality of the hellish rollercoaster of a marriage has really hit me.  I am planning to divorce, though there is the consequence of no insurance following a divorce...well, I guess you do have the lovely option of trying to make the COBRA payments.  Two kids too...it stinks, but I can't tell right now what is better---having the insanity of this marriage cause another episode of cancer--or try to find some peace and deal with not having insurance if it comes back....

If you have been through something similar or have ideas, I would really appreciate them. 

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  • worldchampmom
    worldchampmom Member Posts: 11
    edited January 2010

    I thought that I was the only woman in the world that had to worry about a troubled marriage while going thru BC. Trying to hang on but not sure how I feel. Every fight or discussion of separation I am threatened with the no health insurance for me crap! I to beleive that the stress of my marriage had something to do with my gettin sick in the first place. How hard it was to heal and stay positive when  I always had the worry of divorce and losing my health care providers. It was tough to stay strong. I was really in need of security, love and lots of hugs. Please know that you are not alone. Love yourself and accept the hugs that I am sending you! Stay strong my friend...

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  • iodine
    iodine Member Posts: 4,289
    edited January 2010

    I would think that part of a settlement would include him paying for insurance for you and the kids. 

    you may also include counseling for yourself and maybe, if needed, the kids as well. 

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  • cindycar
    cindycar Member Posts: 1
    edited September 2010

    I am going through the exact same thing. Chemo mastectomy radiation reconstruction a year of herceptin lymphedema therapy etc.  My soon to be ex is dragging out divorce and actually said wished I died on the table.  He was and continues to be physically and verbally abusive. He has hired investigators, employability experts, doctors,parent coordinators etc.  Wasting time and money!  He is bringing divorce to trial(wasting more time and money). I had to take him to court to get even temporary support for me and my 2 children.  He is a police chief and knows and works the system. It is so stressful and he of course enjoys creating more stress hoping the cancer will some back and I will die before he has to pay.  We were married for about 19 years and it is surprising to what lengths someone will go.  There is something called divorce from bed and board which allows yur helth coverage to remain in place.  This has been one of my concerns along with the life insurance which we had for years that he stopped paying

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  • Twinmom77
    Twinmom77 Member Posts: 303
    edited September 2010

    The laws vary so much from state to state that you're really not going to get a straight, reliable answer except from a lawyer.  In some states (like mine), once you're divorced or, in some cases, even legally separted, it is against the law to make the employer to pay for the ex-spouses insurance.  Even a judge can't rule to make them cover you.  You can apply for Medicaid, but there is an income cap in order to qualify and, depending on the state, it can be pretty low.  Or you can try HealthCare.gov and put in your state and info and see if you qualify for one of the pre-existing condition pools.  Otherwise, you'd have to pay COBRA or buy private insurance.  PI with an ex. cond is not going to be cheap, but at least now with the new healthcare laws, they can't deny you and there is a cap on what they can charge.  You can put in the divorce settlement that your husband MUST cover his kids and that way you only have to find coverage for yourself.

    I was going through the same thing last year during treatment and it's dragging on into this year and probably into next.  I worried myself right into panic attacks thinking about what I would do w/o insurance, but I finally decided being rid of him was worth the unknowns.  I'm still on his ins since he's dragging things out and I qualify for Medicaid.  Since he won't pay support, I'm under the cap for now.  My lawyer is trying to figure out a way to keep me under the cap and still get enough from him to live off of - so your lawyer might have some ideas for you.  Hope that helps a little.

    Cindycar - I'm so sorry you're going through all that.  I hope that all wraps up for you soon so you can get on with your life and be rid of him!

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  • Twinmom77
    Twinmom77 Member Posts: 303
    edited September 2010

    Oh!  Just realized this was posted like 9 months ago?  So how is everything going now?

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