Had the Look Good...Feel Better class from the ACS last night and got my head shaved.  The makeup stuff is nice, Bobby Brown products as well as other nice things.  I'm doing ok with the head shaved.  It is a weird sense of almost a "freeing" sensation.  Hate the wig they provided me.  Doubt I'll ever wear it or may buy a different one.  It has wayyyyyy to much hair for how I wear my hair.  I see me being a scarves and hats person.  I may get to the point and say screw it and don't wear anything either.  I was surprised my head has a nice oval shape and doesn't look bad at all.  Today is kind of a "sickie" day with some mild queasiness.

Biggest issue today is bleeding hemorrhoids.  I think I am going to have to see my Onc for an exam this afternoon.  Yesterday they bled quite a bit but today it was much less and I'm doing the MiraLax and Colace stool softeners but the Onc says he needs to examine me to make sure I haven't got a tear or fissure as a possible breeding ground for infection.  I've had these cussed things all my adult life practically (my first baby was 8.8 lbs).  Thing is, I'm not constipated as I'm going every day a little at least and I'm not straining at the stool at all, as everything seems to pass easy if I stay on the stool softeners, but the bleeding is there anyway because my hemorrhoids are so chronic.  I've asked them to prescribe Proctocort cream as my Dad had colon cancer and he swears by it.  Sorry to be so outspoken about this nasty issue but I have no one else to talk to about it but you girls.  I'll let you know if I see the Onc and what he says.  UGH!  I just hate to go have that kind of exam with him but will do what I have to so that I will be ok.

Juanita 

Laurajane, I agree with retrievermom, my dear SIL gave my sister and I copies of the secret book when I had a recurrance 2 years ago, read the first two chapters, promply closed it and donated to salvation army. I am definitely not claiming responsibilty for BRCA1 mutation and all associated cancer. My sister was given one too, hers went into a garage sale, the only secret I can tell you is get rid of that book! (sorry secret fans)

Titan/MLB: Omg, I can't believe that curly hair can grow in curlier, glad I have something to look forward to, lol. I have been a Shirley Temple my entire life. Thanks for the suggestions on the Marc Anthony cream. Right now I am about 6 weeks post taxol/carbo chemo, eyebrows growing back fast! eyelashes just starting, also need to start using upper lip dipilatory cream again, can't say I missed that much! I have about 1/16th of an inch of hair on my head, cannot wait until that starts really growing but will take a while to look like hair since we know how much curly hair "shrinks" in length.

Cathy, the gusher you experienced sounds scary, I would have gotton a queasy stomach. Hope things are on the right path of healing now.

Kadzz, WTG and congrats on your remission, it feels wonderful doesn't it? Juanita, sorry you have to deal with that aggravation as well. Good Luck at the Dr's.

Lynne

Hi all, hope everyone is having a good day. All right, throwing out "The Secret" today. 

MBJ- I have a son who is 17 and a Junior in high school. I also have a daughter who is 25, married and they have a 1yr old little boy. I just adore them all. My husband passed away in 2001. I worry about them worrying so I try and just act normal and optimistic about all that is going on. Which is why I enjoy the openness and frankness we can have on here.

Lynn3times-Funny but when I started Taxol my hair started growing back white peach fuzz also, then my eyebrows and eyelashes started falling out and now my hair on my head is starting to fall back out. I now have to shave my legs and pluck my mustache and beard again. LOL

Jwatrlily- I am sorry you are having to go through this. I hope your doc can help you. 

The Secret is the book is STINKO!!  Not worth the read and no enlightenment there!  If you want some profoundness in your life this is not the book to look for it in.  Hated it and I have tons of self help enlightenment books.

hhfheidi:  Thank you so much for brightening my day!!!!

Jaunita:  So sorry you are going through this!  I think we, with chemo, have all been there is some way or form, in the toilet, so to speak.  Stool softeners never worked for me so I used MagO7 which is a gentle oxegenated magnesium supplement you take at night just before and to get you through the first week of chemo.  Only had the hemroids the first round, never again.

LauraJane:  OMG!!!  Adult children.  I never would have guessed.  I am so sorry about the loss of your husband, that couldn't have been easy for you.  I thought you were, maybe, 30 years old at the most.  Your a young spirit I guess, which is a very good thing!  Staying positive is key to helping you fight and prevent recurrence of this disease.  Hugs!

Hi ladies - I'm not having a very good day.  I had my first follow up mammogram yesterday and got a recall today on the good boob for magnifications.  I just came from having the diagostic one done. I'm reliving last year all over again and am very freaked out to put it lightly.  I hope all is benign but my mind is going in all sorts of directions. The good news is bad boob looked good with no evidence of disease. 

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I can't keep up! LOL!! 

Sugar~ I had a MX but I got a call back on the "good" boob.  That was the nail in the coffin for that boob... HISTORY.  Anywhoo, the calcifications were nothing but it sucked to have to go through an ultrasound and the WAITING.  Life is so much easier w/out *real* boobs. {{{hugs}}}

Juanita~ This is TMI but I had fissures during chemo.  OMG, it was sooooooo painful. Do anything you can to prevent fissures.  Really. Not kidding.

LauraJane~ There's NO WAY you have adult kids.  None. No way. AND if you do,  I need to know how you look so darned young.  I'm 38 and someone estimated that I was 50 last week.  50!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Up till chemo I was still getting carded... People thought I was early 20's.  Now, I look "rode hard and put up wet".

MBJ~ Do you still have to sleep in your bra?

xxoo 

Sugar:  I can imagine how all the fears come flooding back. It's good they're being super cautious and hopefully it will turn out to be nothing. In the meantime, hang in there! Sucks that you're waiting...

I've gained about 15 lbs too.  Rats!!!  I've got my wig on in the pic (57th birthday party), but do you see the little round face?  My neighbors cook for me every night and calories are of no consequence to them!  oh well.

Sugar- I'm so sorry you are going through this. I am sending beyond positive thoughts your way. I agree with hhfheidi- popping a zanax can be very helpful during times like these.

Jwatrlily- My onc is old school also. My onc. pharmacist  where I get chemo is much more on top of some of these new ideas. She actually investigates my questions to an extent. My personal doc. who has helped organize all of my docs in general truly believes in a lot of this new fangled stuff also. Well I guess it isn't new fangled. I hope that whatever you choose to do brings relief.

To all of you ladies out there with the wonderful compliments you made my day. Which is what you all do it seems like on a regular basis. I'm actually 47. I think that must have been a good photo or something. I know it was taken a couple of months before I found out I had BC. and before I lost my hair. I thought BC had aged me but I did have a young good looking guy probably in his early thirties  try and pick me up at the music festival last week-end. So I took him home and slept with him. LOL! Just kidding! I did kind of think about it but I couldn't figure out how I could have kept my wig on and not have my eyebrows smudged. Kind of ruined the fantasy. Sure made me smile.

Sugar77:  I hope you get good news quickly so you won't have to worry.  The waiting is no fun.

Hhfheidi:  The Secret is a book that basically says you are responsible for everything that happens to you.  My sister gave it to me, but I didn't really get it.  I guess it has quite a following, though.  I am glad you have decided to be our humor coordinator, because  you are funny without even trying.  For instance, those numbers after your postings.  My favorite is your Alien cat.

Speaking of cats, Laurajane:  You are quite the cougar, aren't you?  LOL

Heidi:  You bet!  Only kidding - I personally felt the book was a total crock of sh&t.

Sugar:  Hang in there!  We are all here to hold you up - you are not going through this alone.  And it's for times such as this that the Ativan is sure needed.  Make sure you take it.

Linda

Titan - I had a stereotactic biopsy last year on the cancer boob! Hopefully it won't come to that this time.