I want to have sex again but I'm terrfied

Hi Mere,

I had sex for the first time post BMX 6 1/2 weeks after my surgery. I wore a cute bra. I think wearing something pretty like a bra or cute tee or whatever works great.....you don't feel so exposed. I was with my husband, so I didn't have the "first time jitters," but I was anxious about it none the less. Beforehand we said that maybe we would just "make out" so as not to put pressure on us. It had been about seven months since we had had sex due to the big scare of diagnosis, four surgeries, chemo, one week (out of six) of radiation. I am happy to report that the kissing and hugging and playing around felt great and one thing lead to another and lo and behold it was great. Although I don't have breasts, everything else is still there and working fine! I'm looking forward to doing it again soon. Must get teenager out of the house again. Good luck. 

Leave just your bra on and perhaps a camisole on top; it is actually quite sexy to have an item of clothing on, especially if the lower half is naked! It also makes you feel less exposed and gives the illusion of symmetry.

He will probably make much of your remaining breast,and find other things for his other hand to do!

I am speaking from experience. Like you, I was terrified at first - a new relationship and not knowing how to play it.Occasionally I 'bare all'; the first time was in the shower which we shared -and he soaped me all over.It has just become normal for us now.

Your confidence will return.

My DH and me have not actually had sex yet, as I am very sore and still flinch when anyone comes near my left side, but we are cuddly.  He has seen the new me and I see love and kindness and desire in his eyes.  Lago is so right and now I am sure our relationship is of the mind and spirit and not of the boob.  Be confident in that we have all faced and overcome the crucible of pain, loss, terror, and uncertainty. 

  I have been married over 22 years--and believe me,even before my surgery, I didn't have a great body.  But what I do have, is a great husband, who has taken care of me when I had drains, and pain, and tears.  We had sex a couple of days after I came home from the hospital.  I was determind not to let this interfere with out life.  We are back in the groove, and it is helping me feel like I am getting my life back.

Mere, great advice given here.  I agree with wearing something cute and sexy.  I've been married 37 years and did not want this to change our lives.  After the bmx, my D?H and I looked at the result on the second day.  He is also so kind and caring.  We had sex about 4 weeks after teh surgery.  Even with reconstruction, I always wear some kind of top going to bed.  It is still sexy and satisfying for both of us.  Good luck to you.