very depressed

Cal - as Debbie says, all this is very normal.  Let the port area heal, then you can exercise with it. I did aerobics, elliptical, weight training, swimming, etc. all with my port still in.  But all that came after chemo.  During chemo I managed to keep exercising for the few few chemo treatments, but then gradually I was able to do less and less, and for the last two treatments it took everything I had just to go to work and come home - I had no energy for anything else, including exercise.  Two weeks after chemo was over, I got on an elliptical - I lasted all of 5 minutes, but it was a start.  I also enrolled in a gentle yoga class. I've built back up from there.  

Debbie's advice is great - on the good days try to walk slowly and do what you can, and on the bad days be good to yourself.  If you're still feeling empty, definitely let your onc know - using anti-anxiety or depression meds is perfectly appropriate during this time.  As as Debbie says, it will pass and you will feel better and you will be able to exercise like your old self once again.

My port was a non-issue as far as exercise went (it took a couple of weeks to heal but then I was fine).  As has been said, be gentle with yourself -- this is all so normal. Do what you can, listen to your body, and beyond that, don't beat yourself up for anything you're doing/not doing/feeling/not feeling.  Your body, mind, spirit is going through a terrifically difficult experience. Give yourself room to feel whatever you're feeling, and to rest and heal.

Most people feel much better once they get done with AC and start on Taxol, so know you're almost done with the most horrific part.

It's also really normal to get depressed.  I know I was hit with my dx, then rushed into getting a port and getting into chemo and I really didn't have time to digest what was going on with me until I was down the road a bit... and then I got slammed.  A counselor was a huge help to me -- a professional counselor, a minister, etc., might help you a lot.  And when I finally realized I was really deep in the trenches and crying way too much of the time, I asked for an antidepressant.  It doesn't make things wonderful but it helped even things out and I could cope a lot better.  I'm not someone who turns to drugs, and I'm used to being strong and dealing with things myself... but this wasn't a time for me to try to do that.  I called on help because I knew I needed it.  Also, support groups help a lot of people, as does bc.org and the wonderful people here.

Final thing, I know what it is to feel like you'll never feel normal or happy again.  I was there most of last summer and longer.  I remember sitting in my office and hearing people laugh and wondering if I'd ever feel like laughing again.  You will, I promise you... you will get better, you will feel human and happy again.  Although I'm still getting strength and energy back, my joy is back, and sometimes I just want to dance on the rooftops to share it... "normal" may be different that it used to be but it's good. It's wonderful.  You'll get there.  Hang in there.  Be gentle with yourself.  Sending a big hug.

I know at this point it is like one thing after another but it does indeed pass. 

I was running during chemo but then had my exchange and hyst and had to stop again.  It felt like every time I got two steps forward I was yanked 10 back!

I did run with my port, after awhile.  It just takes some time for it to settle in I think.  In fact I ran a 5k the week after chemo ended and a half marathon less than a year later and now I am marathon training and life is good.

I remember thinking that I would never get my life back but I did and so will you. 

I did weights/crunches and cycled all through chemo, and yes, I had a port.

I found that even with AC, cycling oxygenated my blood, so I would temporarily feel "normal" once I pushed through the lack of lung capacity.

Since my port was in my chest, I didn't think twice about lifting free weights once my drain was out.

I cycled the 200 mile Seattle-to-Portland within six weeks of finishing radiation (over 2 days) and did LIVESTRONG (45 mile course in the pouring rain) just 12 days after finishing radiation.

I did the short course of the Chilly Hilly just 6 days after 3 of 6 Taxol infusions.  True, it was the short course and I walked a lot of hills, but I did it!!!

One of my cycling buddies mentions that I dragged HIM out in the rain to go cycling last winter, and that I kept him fit.

You will get there.....and you will feel better if you are able to move.  Good luck.

I know how you feel,before all this happened, I was exercising every morning for a hour, lost 14lbs, and really started feeling good, especially for 62 years old. Now I am facing my 4th and last chemo, then on to 9mos of herceptin. I feel I am getting weaker and weaker, can barely climb a flight of stairs without my leg muscles burning and hurting, I feel like just sitting on the last step and resting. And yes, I have gained the 14lbs and another 7lbs, I hope I will start feeling better soon, because I am feeling very depressed, I don't even want to sew, which used to be my favorite thing to do.I guess I need some words of encouragement too.

Carol, hang in there. Chemo really pounds you, on multiple levels.  I had the same experience you're having with energy and strength.  It was discouraging and depressing.  Don't hesitate to talk to your dr./nurses about how you're feeling (physically and otherwise).  Many of us opt for antidepressants of some kind to get us through the worst of it.  They won't make you happy, but they even you out, and also helped me sleep some, which helped a lot. 

And, the joy comes back, and so will your desire to exercise again, and your strength.

I'm repeating some of what I said above, just wanted you to know we're listening and empathize!

Remember your body, mind, and soul are going through a terribly hard journey.  Be patient, and most of all, be gentle with yourself.