Calling all TNs

I actually have an old dx of hypochondriosis, a form of OCD.  I am a card carrying hypochondriac! The irony is I used to be afraid I would get breast cancer... I spend WAY too much time looking up every twinge, pain, bump and lump. You name it! I am almost 1.5 yr out and it seems to come and go, but when it is "on" it is torturous! I know I need to get back to a therapist to save my sanity and I know we all worry sometimes, funny how sometimes it just spirals out of control. To have a cancer dx as a hypochondriac is some kind of test, that's for sure! I hope I pass, LOL!

jwaterlily; just wanted to ditto what hheidi said about all the constantly evolving changes in breast tissue after surgery.         My very indented, distorted breast ended up adjusting to be somewhat of a "mound" in a year's time.               the circulation/edema are affected by the surgery (all that cutting and moving around) as well as hormonal problems.  there is a process of "shifiting".

so I do understand your concern; tell your doctor; but breast tissue heals with changes external appearance.

 Meece; you and I could form a "pity party" but it seems the two of us have moved on.  It must have been much worse with a divorce and an ex-spouse slandering you.  I have an adult daughter with borderline personality disorder.   during my first two yrs of bc; she made several false accusations that I had abused her and that either  my husband or I was a drug addict.   Preposterous.   It was a little like a divorce b/c people took sides.   I was too sick to get caught up in it.   But it was a low point in my life. My in-laws took her side.      She moved in with her boyfriend's family after convincing them that I was abusive.   Now I recognize that she is mentally ill and I have "radical acceptance".    But at the time I  just focused on the people who trusted me. And learned to ignore those who believed my daughter's lies.              Life goes on. And I am a 7 year survivor this October!!!    And that is my focus now!

barbbasile:  Hope your day is going better.  I too have spent a lot of time looking up stuff on the internet.  Some of it is scary, but some is good news.  I love yorkies, after all my treatments are done I plan on adopting a 4-legged friend.

Cydz:  I think this disease might make a hypochondriac out of anyone.  I wonder how people deal with all the worry,  I think seeing a therapist is a good idea.

Eileen1955:  Congrats on being a 7 year survivor!   

Wow - a lot of catching up...

Laurajane & Swanny - so sorry to hear about disappearing friends.  I think our dx scares them and they don't know how to react to us.  It's not an excuse and it hurts like #!#%, but it happens.  (((hugs)))

Meece/Eileen - you both went through a lot and have come through with a willingness to reach out and help others.

So, Michelle, how are you doing?  Everything went okay?

Meece, I also have FCBD. My 3.2 cm tumor removed in May of 09 grew in some dense tissue that I have been watching since 1986, almost 24 years! That dense tissue made it hard to distinguish. Thank goodness I did my self checks. When I was first dx, an onc I went to for a second opinion thought the tumor could be as big as 11 cm! I almost hit the ground and thankfully that was not the case. It just makes me wonder how long it was hiding in there. Although being TN, we know these guys kind of grow overnight too. Who knows, but the FCBD certainly does add another layer to the whole deal.

PS.  My fears that something was "lurking" in the pocket were unfounded.  I told my PS about them before the surgery and he promised he'd take a good look (eventhough he told me there was no cause for concern). Nothing, nada, zip. 

WOW alot of posts on here -just trying to catch up!

Michele - so happy for you! I can't wait until this winter to get my exchange done.

Went to #11 of Taxol today - ONLY 1 LEFT!!!!!!! Yeah!

Heidi - I am with Titan on this one and I think you are trying to trick us and those #'s are your way of hidden messages to us!! :-) LOL

Michelle, you need to take it easy.  You may think you are okay enough to be doing all those things, but you shouldn't.  Take the time to relax, recouperate ad heal.  At least for a couple of days, let someone help you out.

Jw - Did you call the the Dr. What did they say.  Wishing good thoughts for you.

No constepation this time - the runs instead.  Never seen someone so happy to have the runs but I hope this does not continue also.

Had the nicest surprise last night.  Sitting home, feeling bad when I hear a know at the door.  One of my friend from (she has MS) was at the door and came over to visit for about an hour.  What a nice surprise.  She brough a muffin and we ate and watched TV.  So, I guess for all my recent complaining, my thoughts got out to the universe and I had two friends who came through in the last couple of days.  Very nice.

Oh, I played hookie yesterday.  Had some errands to run and Dr. appt.  My legs hurt from the Neulasta shot but did a couple of errands also.  Then went home because I was exhaused.  But it was nice to play hookie (first and only time).

One more chemo session to go!!!!

Swanny,

Thanks for asking and the good thoughts sent my way.  I did call my surgeon but they didn't get back to me and I will call again when they open today.  I suspect they were just waiting until today to see if there was a cancellation as she had a packed schedule today.  I go back up to Peoria this afternoon to be there for my Echo and Power Port placement tomorrow a.m. bright and early so it is totally doable that I could see her this afternoon if they can fit me in (Hubby would just have to leave work earlier).  In my wildest imagination, I couldn't even have dreamed up a recurrence (IF that is what it is) within one month of a successful lumpectomy with wide, clear margins.  If I do have, that might be a record even for Triple Negative!  I'm praying like crazy.  I just want to get on to chemo.  Ever see anyone wanting so badly to start their chemo??  Found out my sick meds through IV the days of chemo will be Aloxi and not Emend like I thought.

Juanita 

Gang,

I am having anxiety about going to onc surgeon tomorrow for post surgical hysterectomy/omentumectomy/abdominal lymph node removal appt and getting path reports. This surgery is supposed to be last step of of removing places that this nasty BRCA1 gene can reside and wreck havoc. I don't want to be triple negative about it (pardon the pun) but after 3 primary BC and most recently Fallopian Tube CA, I want so desperately to believe the Dr who told my family after surgery that things looked good. But I have had Dr's be overly optimistic before (and wrong!) and have learned that the path reports tell the real truth.

On the good side, being almost 6 weeks post chemo (taxol/carbo), my hair is starting to grow and I now have a 5 o'clock shadow where my eyebrows used to be.

I love the idea about delivering soup to people doing chemo, that would have been wonderful. I make really good soup, maybe I can do that for someone...... As far as friends disappearing, I was very lucky that mine were around and offered their help in anyway. However, one of the best conversations I had was a 3 hour phone marathon with a younger woman I met in chemo, love that part, she thought I was her age and I am 11 years older, hee hee. We never sat next to each other in chemo and pretty much said hi and watched each other nod off and drool, however, there was some sort of connection there as we exchanged phone numbers/email addys and actually called each other. During our marathon we just poured our hearts out to each other and our catch phrase to sum everything up that we both had been going through was that we had been served a "Supersized McCrap Sandwich". I still laugh at that phrase! I think that only those of us who are going through it can truly understand, don't be afraid to find "new" friends. This new friend truly knows more about me and I of her then some folks I have known for 20 years.

Lynne 

{{{Lynne}}}

Lynne:  Good luck with your apppointment tomorrow-we will all be thinking of you.

Michelle:  Hope you are taking it easy and realaxing.  Afterthe first2 days I was up and about but I am still exhausted from all of this plust the iron bra that is extending it's stay for 3 more weeks, yuk!  I hope you are happy with your results, but give them time to settle. I'm still waiting though the hamburger effect is gone.

laurajane:  I am so glad to hear you are in good spirits today.  Chemo will really help your odds in clearing the margins and geting the best possible results.  You are right, when we get sick people have a tendency to dissapear, yet people we harldy even know step forward in thier place.  I tend to be a bit of a gypsy and make new freinds easily, and I try and surround myself by only positive, uplifting and encouraging people.  My very best friend is my DH, but the women here are absolutley priceless!  That's whay I try to show up every day to see if there is anything I can offer to anyone. Have an amazing day.