Does anyone else feel this way?

Why would that make you a jerk? Everyone responds differently to difficult situations, and everyone's life is different. Some people like to move on and get back to some semblance of what they consider normal; some like to embrace new friends and activities and draw strength from that. I don't think not participating makes you an ingrate. 

I kind of know how you feel, Sandy. I don't wear pink ribbons and all that jazz. My feeling is that I had BC, but I am not defined by it. I may or may not choose to do BC walks, it just all depends ... 

 When I was asked why I didn't do a Race for the Cure, I was annoyed-- I've never done those kinds of things, plus I have bad knees. I made some donations and now I am bombarded by telemarketers for various bc organizations-- and they all start off lecturing me about early detection. When I told one telemarketer, "I know, I had breast cancer," he said, "Good for you!"-- excuse me? Then I discovered that most of these groups use all the donations for administrative costs, so of my measly $20, only $2 would actually go to research.  Today, shopping for toilet paper at Target, I passed over the brand with the pink ribbon-- it's on everything and makes me cringe-- I hate the constant reminder but I also hate how bc is used as a marketing tool.  Barbara Ehrenreich's "Bright-sided" has a great chapter on the pink ribbon industry and how we've trivialized bc in some weird way.  That's my rant.  When I was diagnosed, a family friend contacted me-- I never was close with her--she was my parents' friend and had bc 10 years ago-- and she sent me books and little gift cards to cheer me up-- she was the only one who knew how scared I was and didn't tell me, as everyone else did, "think positive-- or you'll make yourself sicker"-- I wore the bracelet she gave me every time I went for my office visits and post-op apptmts-- and I did the same for another woman I met on this board--  I've never been a volunteer (too shy) or a marathoner (too wimpy)-- but whatever we can do to help each other through this is what matters the most (IMHO).-- Julie

It seems that the companies who take part in BCA month cause marketing initiatives benefit from the halo effect as much or more than the companies who receive the donations generated. When Campbell's soup last year changed its iconic red/white soup can labels to pink/white during October, the mom friendly product made a bold move - and albeit a relatively small contribution to the cause. Their $250,000 contribution to research is generous, but feels small compared to the amount of good will to the brand that the campaign surely generated. The Marketing to Women Online Blog suggests that the actual amount contributed works out to $.035/can. Yikes.

The ‘pinkwashing' of the disease has even generated an anti-marketing backlash and the San Francisco-based organization Breast Cancer Action makes the excellent point: 'If shopping could cure breast cancer it would be cured by now.

Hi Sandy! I love that you define yourself in a full way that involves many areas of your life. You have a great spirit & encourage others to remember that the cloud of worry and anxiety doesn't have to control your life. Good for you! Have a great day.

I just had a conversation with my DH this evening about the women across the street who just lost her husband to cancer.. When he was first dx'ed she would faithfully send out a standard request form to the neighbors asking us to donate to the ACS..  She's in awful shape now and I want to help her (and am) but I just realized the minute we (all of us) are dx'ed with cancer (and I'm sure this goes for other diseases too) we become a canvaser for the (in this case) the ACS to get more money for their organization...  We have spoken and none of the organizations have helped her and I had the same reaction (and all I wanted was information!).  I'm a bit angry that we become and new source of money when we are dx'ed even if there is no help for us (her) from that organization.  It's like the minute they recognize you as diseased they want you to represent all the other individuals that are diseased too and contact them on behalf of the organization to collect money.  There's a problem here, many of these organization don't seem to be getting the individuals to HELP them with their plight - they just seem to be set up to collect money..   Just venting it makes me angry!  I and my family no longer give to any of the "pink" organizations and are very careful about giving or having any involvement with cancer related organizations.  I think it is just fine to walk away from an organization..  We've all been through a great deal - we don't need to become "employeed" by this great marketing endeavor too!  IMO it's fine to do nothing if that is what you want..

So happy that I can uplift you somehow. How are you doing? Give me an update if you can. Sending hugs and best wishes....

lago, I totally agree with your wisdom. Best wishes.

Hi  easyquilts, So happy to hear all is OK and doing well. Best wishes, Hummingb1rd