BILATERAL MASTECTOMIES

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Anonymous
Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
edited June 2014 in Middle Age 40-60(ish) Years Old With Breast Cancer

Hello ladies ~

 Been dealing with no boobs since Sept. 2008.  I live in a tiny, remote community, and I mean remote.  Since surgery I have not talked to one woman face to face that has had bilateral mast.  I have no idea where to go for such things as swimsuits, or tops that don't show my saggy scarred chest. Finally got the nerve a few days ago to throw out stuff I can't wear any longer - bras, nightgowns obviously made for women with breasts, etc. I do wear prosthetics every day. I have one nightgown with built-ins. This has really taken a toll on my 18 year old marriage.  I am going to be 57 this July.  I have dealt with people who have no clue what I'm going through and think the trauma ends with the chemo.  This includes family members. They have no idea why I have days when I'm just tired out and emotionally drained.

 Are there support groups for women specifically dealing with double mastectomies?  Hauling my 'gear' around on holidays is stressful and so is the thought of going flatchested.  I admire those of you who can do that but I cannot.  I had mean things said about my hair and weight gain and I cannot imagine what would be said being a flatchest around such people.

 Any help would be nice. Any tips would be appreciated, thanks!

tucker

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  • sespebadger
    sespebadger Member Posts: 249
    edited September 2010

    Hi Tuckertwo and thanks,Gg08-Bonnie for finding t.t's post. I hadn't seen it before.

    I had bilat surgery this July and chose to have no recon. I go flat at home but not out in public. I don't think it looks flattering on me. I think feeling like you look pretty and feminine is very important. I am 49 years old, married 28 years. BC is tough on a marriage whether or not you have recon. I think.

    I have not gotten silicon protheses yet and don't know if I will. I like the micro-bead forms available from TLC.com. They are soft, lightweight, and look fine. They cost 40.00 each. I've seen a thread on this site where a woman posted photos of how to make your own for very cheap if you sew. I wear them in a Champion brand sports bra with thin straps. These are available at Target, but I bet you could find them online also. They come in white, black, and lots of colors. If they show under a top they look like a cute camisole. They cost about 17.00 each. I also bought a black lacy tank with pockets for breast forms from TLC. I've worn that for special times with my husband.Even without the forms in it, it covers the scars across the chest.

    I don't think my chest looks great, but I don't think it looks too bad, and i am O.K. with it. I am glad the cancer is gone. I am glad it will be easier to spot a recurrance if it ever comes back. With an active teenage daughter and an active husband, I don't want to spend the time to get "new" breasts. Maybe I will at a later date, but so far I am happy this way, and I kind of doubt it.

    I'm sorry that you have gotten mean comments, tucker. People have no idea what we have gone through. I am in YOUR support group as is every woman on this site, I believe. I am not quite finished with treatment yet (still doing radiation), but I am preparing for people saying, "great, you are all done," when I will be thinking, "I will never be totally over this." We all want to get on with enjoying our lives, but we will never be quite the same and people who haven't been through this don't understand that. Plus, they have no idea what it means to loose your breasts.

    Keep looking around on this site. You are not alone. Many other women have had no reconstruction and share their feelings and tips. You can also look at the excellent site called www.breastfree.org.  

    More hugs!

         

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  • flopsy
    flopsy Member Posts: 365
    edited September 2010

    Tucker,  I opted to also have BMX.  This was done in May and I am not planning to do reconstruction because I think all those surgeries may compromise my battle back to good health.  I have seen too many reconstructions gone bad as I work in a large Breast Imaging Center.  I am content with my forms in bras and also have very light stuffing that I got with camisoles after surgery that work well with my mast bras and camisoles.  I know it is hard to adjust to this new body but you are still you no matter what the outside looks like.  My husband has been super supportive but he is the world's greatest husband.  I do not feel any less a woman just because I have lost my Double D's(kind of glad I don't have to haul them around anymore).  Clothes seem to fit better now anyway.  I think the cami-secret is a very good idea also.  I use my surgery camisoles that I got in the hospital a lot.  They have pockets for prosthesis forms, or micro-beads or whatever you want to use.  They also make a one piece undergarment that has pockets that is bra and underwear all in one that you can get from tlc online.  I have not tried that yet but I have considered it.  May order one and give it a try.  Hope knowing others are in the same boat helps with your perspective and acceptance.  LOL,gin2ca

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  • puddingirl84
    puddingirl84 Member Posts: 120
    edited September 2010

    Hi all,

    I haven't been on the boards in ages. I had BMX Jan 25,2010, w/o recon. Halfway through chemo my baby sis, who was 40, died suddenly. It's been a rough year for me. I was on Carboplatin and Taxotere. It was no joke. 

    Sometimes I wonder if I should have gone through with immediate recon, but I don't know how I could have managed all that surgery at one time. I just want to be cancer-free for now.

    Puddin' 

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