Starting chemo January 2009?

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  • BerkeleyKim
    BerkeleyKim Member Posts: 390
    edited August 2010

    Back to reality after vacation. Kauai was so wonderful, and I felt so good--felt truly cancer free. I was able to thank the green sea turtles in person. I visualized them during chemo and surgery. Floating in warm water, basking on warm sands. And honu also represents longevity and wisdom.

     Glanced through the posts--lots happening. My thoughts and love are with you all.

    Renrel-I send positive thoughts for your friend's son. Jess--what a terrible week you had. Is there also a local support group you can join? I've found my group so helpful. Teenage girls can be SO harsh. I think partly they just want us to be who we were, and can't fathom our physical and psychological changes.I don't get much space to cover for my mental and physical lapses, and I'm still expected to be the strong one and planner, nurturer. I don't have any answers as to how to deal with their expectations--I just get tired and angry. Brenda-great to hear from you. Sorry about the recon infections, and isn't the LE the pits??? My thumb has been swelling, and I got another referral to the LE clinic. Wearing my sleeve really helps.. Phyllis-glad you made it through that horrible post-surgery. Enjoy that new car!!! LadyJane-Hooray for the good mammo! And I'm glad you can enjoy that grandbaby during the am's. Part time work sounds so good as I face another school year!  Kmmd--I really hear you on the guilt re "getting" our disease. I'd be interested in what your onc said about diet and exercise. Any recommendations?? I'm having such a hard time losing weight (ok--I do "cheat" some). Jilly-hope you get to enjoy that yummy Nova Scotia seafood!

  • mnmom
    mnmom Member Posts: 2,068
    edited November 2010

    Hi I am wondering if anyone in this same time frame has had throat issues. I had a cough that has turned into a sore throat & difficulty swallowing now am scheduled for a gastroscopy on Tues. to look for, remove? stricture(s)...scar tissue I was told. Of course hoping the best but worring about the beast. Thanks

  • ktym
    ktym Member Posts: 2,637
    edited August 2010

    Hoarse throat yes, but I've attributed it to the increased inhalers because its been such a bad asthma season.  I've also get any illness out there.  Someone can walk past my office and I'll get whatever they had, and again and again.  So, the sore throat yes.  But, not what you're describing.  Good luck on Tuesday and please let us know how things go

  • mnmom
    mnmom Member Posts: 2,068
    edited November 2010
  • jrgolomb
    jrgolomb Member Posts: 1,236
    edited August 2010

    I have had issues with hoarse voice-somewhere I read it was because of the tamoxifen and everything else we've been on!!!!

  • mnmom
    mnmom Member Posts: 2,068
    edited November 2010

    thanks jrgolomb...

    guess I will find out this tomorrow

  • Renrel
    Renrel Member Posts: 497
    edited August 2010
    I was picking up an anniversary card today (9 yrs of wedded bliss today, woohoo!! Kiss)  and came across a new line of card from shoebox - Cancer and Chemo cards.  Sad that there is a market but I am glad someone is filling it with cards that are fun instead of weepy or sactimonous.
  • BerkeleyKim
    BerkeleyKim Member Posts: 390
    edited August 2010

    Wow--cancer and chemo cards. I'll have to take a look. I think I can imagine getting one with a message something like: "I hate that you have f'n cancer."  Renrel--happy anniversary!!

     Mnmom--hope the tests were all ok today. The worry seems endless. Hope it's just a virus or scar tissue from coughing so much.

    Back at work. Students return Monday, and I'm happy to see my co-workers. A couple of them, including one who had bc recently, are doing a tri-athlon for bc. I'm thinking of joining them. It's 600 meter swim, 11 mile bike, and 3 mile run (which would be a slow walk for me by that point). They are about 20 years or more younger than me, but it might be nice to give it a try, if I can work out enough before 9-25!

    kim

  • mnmom
    mnmom Member Posts: 2,068
    edited November 2010

    They found some scar tissue & say I have 'acid reflux' & took some biopsies the results will be in next week.

    Thanks for all your 'Happy thoughts'. Yes, the worry seems to never end.

    omgoodness a tri-athlon? You go girl!!!

    Thanks again

  • jillyG
    jillyG Member Posts: 401
    edited August 2010

    Well Jewels, I get my BRCA test results today at 1pm.  I am so nervous.  It wouldn't be such a big deal if I wasn't 34 years old, the surgeon told me even if I am positive, he would not remove the ovaries until at least 40 yrs old.  That would be a really long 5 yrs for me.  My good friend here had BC at 33 as well and she came back positive so she removed the ovaries because she was ER- and takes hormones now.  Ovarian cancer terrifies me.  Anyway, I'm getting ahead of myself, I need to just wait and see what they say.  Yikes, I can't concentrate at all at work today. 

  • jillyG
    jillyG Member Posts: 401
    edited August 2010

    Jewels, my BRCA tests were negative :) I'm actually shocked at that, but it's good news,

  • ktym
    ktym Member Posts: 2,637
    edited August 2010

    Berkley Kim: OMG not close to that yet, but so proud of you.  How good does it feel to be back in shape and have your life back enough to know you can sign up for a triathalon?  I agree, I want the card that says I hate that you have f------ cancer.

    mnmom: found myself getting ready to write, good news, acid reflux, thanks for letting us know, then just had to shake my head.  Two years ago would you ever think we'd be saying, good for you girl, acid reflux leaving scars and making you hoarse, so happy to hear your good news.  So, in my quest to try to get back to that more normal time in my life: Happy to hear it wasn't the cancer we're all always worried about, sorry to hear your reflux is that bad and hope they can fix it and get you feeling better. 

    Jilly G, that is very good news.  Congratulations.

    Jess--Did you get DD moved in to school yet? 

    I don't have a kid in school anymore and I'm still always bummed to see school start and summer end.  Love the feel of freedom of summer.  The cycles of the school years that we go through and then our kids go through imprint us forever I guess. 

    Just got back from my first time on a plane and first work trip s/p BC.  Much as I tried to keep the carrying to a minimal level there still always seems to be a lot.  (stupid meds alone weigh a ton I think).  Not being able to eat as well as I do at home, walking long hikes across hard floors on my neuropathy feet, carrying on and off the plane things added to cabin pressure changes with LE arm.....  Feel like I got hit by a semi truck today, but, it felt good to be out and in the swing of things again.  One more piece of my previous life back in place. 

  • Renrel
    Renrel Member Posts: 497
    edited August 2010

    Happy B-day to me!  Feel like I should be more excited about a b-day given my awareness of the preciousness of time, but it still just feels like a day.  But I try to live as many moments out of each day as I can, everyday, so I guess it is not too bad if today does not feel particularly special.  I have taken the morning off from work but need to get moving now. 

  • PLUTZ
    PLUTZ Member Posts: 133
    edited August 2010

    Hi Ladies. I'm glad everyone is doing well. HAPPY BIRTHDAY Renrel.  I've been feeling really crappy since I had this 3rd drain out. I'm so sore and part of my arm is numb. Trying to do exercises again. Looks like I might have to go to physical therapy again. I cannot raise my arm more than a few inches. This sucks. Also, I feel like I have neuropathy in my toes. I don't get it. I guess I'll ask the nurse tomorow when I see her. I also get injected for the 1st time since i was in the hospital. Hopefully its not painful. I'm feeling a bit sad today. My youngest DD starts her junior year today. I feel like I'm going through the empty nest syndrome. I don't get to see my oldest DD much, she works 2 jobs. I just need to get better so I can get out and do things. Hope you al have a great day and for you teachers, good luck with your 1st day.

  • jillyG
    jillyG Member Posts: 401
    edited August 2010

    Happy Birthday Renrel!!!!!!!  Every birthday is such a gift, well, I guess every day is really a gift.  I hope you enjoy your day.  My birthday is coming up next week, I'll be 35.  I don't dread birthdays at all, I am just happy to be here, when people complain about getting older, I just hope I am lucky enough to live long enough to be an old lady sitting on the porch with my husband of 50 years.  I guess our view of those things change when we are faced with our mortality, to some extent. 

    Phyllis, sorry your feeling so sore and your arm is being a pain.  I hope the nurse can give you some suggestions about the toes.  I know what you mean about being sad........my daughter started kindergarten today!  I guess I have a lot of years left with her lol, but it's sad that my big boy started grade 3 today and my baby started kindergarten.  I can't even imagine how I'll feel when they are almost ready to leave the nest. 

  • mnmom
    mnmom Member Posts: 2,068
    edited November 2010

    The path report was good news.

    Thanks for letting me just pop on in here again w/my questions & concerns.

  • ktym
    ktym Member Posts: 2,637
    edited September 2010

    mnmom, yeah!!! thanks for letting us know

  • mnmom
    mnmom Member Posts: 2,068
    edited September 2010

    kmmd, I forgot .. thanks for the congrats on the acid refluxLaughing

  • BerkeleyKim
    BerkeleyKim Member Posts: 390
    edited September 2010

    mnmom--so glad it's "just" acid reflux!

    Renrel: Happy birthday. Glad you treated yourself to some time off.

    Phyllis--Hope you feel better soon. My daughter also started her Jr. year in high school. She seems so grown up now, but still so needy. Don't know when I'll have an empty nest--my oldest son and girlfriend have officially moved in to our basement space (at least it's painted now!!). I think when they leave it's a huge loss, and one of those big life changes.

    kmmd--hope your LE settles down. Do you wear the sleeve on the plane? I can't believe that a teacher at my school got questioned by security about her sleeve. I was lucky to avoid security during my last flight. I don't know what to do about my swollen thumb though.

    Jilly-Hope your kinder daughter is doing well. Any tears? (You, her??) We make sure our parents have plenty of kleenex.

    My class is SO CUTE!!! I think this year will be much easier for me. Last year I was so exhausted from radiation and chemo. Didn't realize how tired til now, when I feel much better. I have six kid with special needs in a gen ed class--25 little bodies.

  • ladyjane54
    ladyjane54 Member Posts: 192
    edited September 2010

    Hang in there Phyllis.  Hope you feel better soon,  I have a DD who also became a Junior this year. I also sent my baby off to freshman year!!!  So glad to have DD, her hubby and grandbaby living with us or I too would be worried about empty nest.  Unfortunately, one DD will graduate from HS next year, oldest DD will graduate nursing school the year after and in the blink of an eye my freshman will also be walking across that stage.  Gonna be a rough few years but I am so happy to be alive and able to celebrate each accomplishment with them.

    Today is my Birthday and it is the first time since I was 21  that I am actually excited to be having a Birthday.  Cancer does strange  things to your outlook on things.  Birthdays use to depress me.

    Glad to hear from those of you who still keep in touch.  I listen alot and find time to post only occassionally.  I have started a new school year also BerkelyKim and I am so happy to have this long weekend to catch my breath.  Has been a busy two weeks.  On top of school starting my father-in-law died last week and we had to fly to MN for his funeral.  Very emotional time.  Did get to see my son who lives in Hawaii though as he was able to get emergency leave for the funeral.

    Saw my Onco dr. on Friday and music to my ears "Nothing of any concern"  "See you in four months"  Woo Hoo!

    Happy Labor day to all you ladies.

    Patti

  • jillyG
    jillyG Member Posts: 401
    edited September 2010

    Patti, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!! Absolutely music to a person's ears 'nothing of any concern, see you in 4 months'.  Can't get better than that!  Woohoo.  

    I am so sorry to hear about your father in law.  My condolences to you and your family.

  • Renrel
    Renrel Member Posts: 497
    edited September 2010

    Ladyjane - Happy b-day fellow Virgo!  I am sorry to hear about your FIL.  May his memory be a blessing to you and your husband.

     BerkelyKim - Glad you have a cute class, may they be well behaved as well.  I don't know how you did it last year with Chemo and all.  

    Phylis - Sorry that your body is not healing as quickly as you would like.  I will try to send you some reiki energy during the week.  

     DH and I had a wonderful week without DS.  DS was with my parents.  i worked half days, shopped most afternoons and spent evenings out to dinner or watching movies (in house and out) with DH.  Picked DS up today.  Two days to get settled in before school starts. 

  • jillyG
    jillyG Member Posts: 401
    edited September 2010

    Well, it's my turn for the birthday!  I turned 35 today.  Yay!  I got a great surprise, I work at the hospital and the info desk just called me down because they had something for me.  My hubby sent a beautiful flower arrangement to my work.  It even has birthday blow-outs mixed into the flowers.  That was a big surprise because he is not a flower buyer usually. 

    Have a great day Jewels!

  • PLUTZ
    PLUTZ Member Posts: 133
    edited September 2010

      Hi ladies. Happy belated birthday Ladyjane. Well I'm feelling much better but I still end up on the sofa in the middle of the night. My back gets sore and stiff. I had my dr. appt. yesterday and got my  2nd injection. The dr. didn't give me much because I've had this leakage where he put in my implant. But I'm doing good. Still don't have much energy. I was hoping that would pass. I'm doing the Susan G. Komen walk Sat. but I have a feeling I might only be able to do the 1 mile, but thats ok. Its all for a great cause. I'm excited. Have a great week.

  • ktym
    ktym Member Posts: 2,637
    edited September 2010

    My PS just announced she is leaving.  I feel so abandoned.  I am scared to death about what will happen if I need a PS again and the person I trust the most isn't there. 

  • BerkeleyKim
    BerkeleyKim Member Posts: 390
    edited September 2010

    Happy Birthdays, LadyJane and Jilly. Hooray for each year older!

    kmmd-it's such a worry when the care providers we trust leave. I hope you find someone who can fill her shoes.

    The energy of the first few days back to school has left me. I'm almost too tired to type.

  • ladyjane54
    ladyjane54 Member Posts: 192
    edited September 2010

    Kim:  I am hearing you on the rush of school starting coming to an end. I am tired all the time it seems and then to add insult to injury I am having trouble sleeping again and seem to get a full nights sleep every once in a while.  It is frustrating to wake up at 3 a.m. and not be able to go bacfk to sleep.  Brings back old memories of the year from hell. 

    Sorry about your PS leaving kmmd.  I actually have an appt with my PS on Monday to find out about recon.  I am about a year out from radiation now and have put it off as long as I can I think.  Not looking forward to opening that can of worms.  Loking at surgery over Christmas break hopefully.

    Phyllis:  Glad to hear you are recovering quickly.  I am walking in October.  Hope your walk goes well tomorrow. Will be thinking about you.

    Patti

  • Renrel
    Renrel Member Posts: 497
    edited September 2010

    Hi Girls.  I am work so I will keep this short.  Just need to vent a little so I can focus on my work.  Today is a bit tough because I recieved my diagnosis on the second day of Rosh Hashona, which is today.  I can remember so many moment of the day so clearly.  And next Tuesday is my 3 month check up, which of course always caused the demons to circle.  I had what I am hoping was my period just over a month ago, but not repeat event so far, which makes me fear that hte bleeding was abnormal rather than a return to normal.  I am telling myself that it would be normal to be irregular after not having menstrated in a year and a half and being at at an age when things start to change anyway and taking Taxmoxafin, but it still unnerves me.  I also did a ritual called Tashlik (sp) yesterday where we go to a body of live moving water and throw crumbs on it as we toss away our sins from the prior year and start anew.  One sin that I am trying to acknowledge and change in the coming year is still taking my life for granted.  Why am I eatting foods I know to be bad for me and not making more of an effort to eat the good ones and not excercising when I, more than most, understand, or should understand that I am in fact mortal and will die.  I can't know when but I know better than to take for granted it will not be for many many years.  There are others as well but there is no need to share those with you all.  I am not falling apart.  I am at work and going through the motions, but I am distracted. 

    Well, thats it for now. 

    P.S. Kmmd, sorry about your PS.  Did she refere you someone else?  My PS is leaving the hospital and going into private practice, I have no idea how that effects insurance and such.  Eventually she plans ot move to Florida so I need to be prepared for that future occurrance.

  • ktym
    ktym Member Posts: 2,637
    edited September 2010

    Not yet Renrel.  Mine's leaving for private practice too.  I know mine isn't doing breast reconstruction at all anymore.  That always puts me on one of my soap boxes.  Forget the extra night in a hospital thing,  petitioning for more reimbursement for mammography and breast surgery and breast reconstruction so we don't lose all the physicians willing to do it is what we should all be worried about.  It is hard to find PS's willing to do breast reconstruction anymore.  Or at least those who will do anything but cash.  Insurance companies are mandated to pay for it but no one makes them pay what it actually costs to do it. 

    Renrel I've found myself thinking a lot about what you said about taking life for granted.  In some ways that seems like a good thing.  Like you trust at times that it will be there enough that you take it for granted.  I get mad at myself for not taking it more for granted.  I hear you though on doing the good food and exercise thing.  I work hard on making it fun and not doing it out of guilt.  Too much guilt associated with this disease now a days if you ask me.

     Work has been hard this week. Exhausting and without any associated satisfaction.  Guess thats why they call it work

  • PLUTZ
    PLUTZ Member Posts: 133
    edited September 2010

      Hi ladies!  I had an amazing day Sat. at the Susan G. Komen race. I met amazing women. There was so many people, it was overwhelming. It still wasn't right to see so many women that had breast cancer. But we are survivors. I ended up just walking the 1 mile cuz it seemed like by the time I walked through the main center and got lots of goodies it felt like I already walked 3 miles. I plan on doing it next year but I plan on walking the 3 miles. I'm feeling much better, still a little sore. I have another appt. tomorrow to get more saline. I'm getting there. Have a great week.

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