Chemo and Intimacy

I think it depends on how far apart your treatments are and how you do. For example, if they are three weeks apart as mine were, you might feel pretty good by end of third week (right before your next treatment). Plan time alone with your boyfriend during that period. Try not to talk about cancer! Enjoy each other....it will make you feel much better, make you feel closer, and help you get through this miserable time.Yes, sex might be the last thing you would be interested in right after treatment, but try not to worry that you will NEVER be interested. And, if your boyfriend loves you, he should be able to wait.

My husband and daughter got over my being bald (I had head shaved about 3 weeks after I started AC) right away and I surprised myself by getting over it too. And my thick, long, beautiful hair had been one of my best features. some women wear their wig to bed....I never did that. My husband said my head had a beautiful shape! Your attitude is everything. Have a good cry, say goodbye to your hair and then remind yourself you are killing the cancer so you can live to enjoy life again. Your hair WILL grow back.

Your sex life will probably diminish during treatment time, but it can come back.

Good luck!

Dear Tina,

I'm sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I'm an employee of Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center and am writing to share some resources that may be helpful should you experience issues with intimacy during and after cancer treatment. The National Cancer Institute (NCI) and American Cancer Society (ACS) are both excellent sources of information on this topic:

NCI:

http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/pdq/supportivecare/sexuality/Patient

http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/life-after-treatment/page5

ACS:

http://www.cancer.org/Treatment/TreatmentsandSideEffects/PhysicalSideEffects/SexualSideEffectsinWomen/SexandWomenwithCancer/index

http://www.cancer.org/Treatment/UnderstandingYourDiagnosis/AfterDiagnosis/after-diagnosis-how-will-cancer-affect-my-sex-life

I hope this information is helpful to you and others who may be interested in the topic. Best of luck to you as you move forward with treatment. -Esther

Hello ladies.  Hope you are all doing well.  I have a question to pose, not sure if it is just me or if other woman are going through this with their significant others, DH's etc.  I was diagnosed in February, had a lumpectomy in March, mastectomy in April and started AC at the end of April and am now 5 out from completing Taxol.  My husband and I have been intimate twice since diagnosis and that is with me initiating it while on AC.  Since then he has no interest in anything, not looking at me, touching me, nothing.  When I ask him what is wrong he sais "nothing".  I understand the issues he may be having with the chemo but come on, there are condoms (which we were informed we should use while I am undergoing chemo as a precautionary).  I feel less than a woman as it is with only one breast (currently in the process of expansion), bald, weight gain from the steroids and with this is starting to push me over the edge.  I have told him he has until the weekend to tell me what the problem is.  I just need to know.  If he finds me disgusting because of the way I look right now than so be it I just WANT TO KNOW.  I dont know if I am over reacting and I am sorry to vent so much.  Just dont really know where else to turn and get some feedback.  Hugs to you all.

 Jen

sespebadger - Thanks for the info.  I know it has to be hard on him to but it gets very frustrating.  I am sure with even telling him that I wanted an explanation I wont get one because that is the way he is.  Forget about it and it will go away (i think most men think that way:))  Anyway, Only 5 chemos left and then the fill will be done to so maybe with all that behind us things will get on the right track.  Thanks again for listening.

Jen