Starting chemo soon & need advice

In all honesty, if being with your extended family will cause stress then stay home, unless you are so ill (which I doubt) that you need help.  The only thing I would suggest is to make sure you have a friend that you can count on in case of an emergency and to help coordinate food deliveries and/or help you with shopping and errands.  And....you may want someone stay with you for a day or so after your first and second chemo just in case you need help while you adjust to how you will feel and the medications.

Chemo isn't a walk in the park, but it's doable. I did have a lot of help from family and friends, but when they were at work and school I was home alone and I was fine. 

(((hugs)))

Hope..I am on the same chemo as you will be starting> i am finished with the AC and am done with two of the Taxols. You will be able to be by yourself if that is what you prefer. I also never threw up but did have moments of queasiness.

I found that with the AC I was fine the day of treatment and the next 2 days while I was taking the steroids. Then I would crash for about 3 days. On the worst days i would just lie on the couch all day and watch TV or sleep. I was able to get up and make myself breakfast or lunch. I have a friend that started a "food chain" for me. For the first day of treatment and the four days after that I get dinners dropped at my door from friends. I have 2 teenagers and a hubby so that is a huge help.

A good lesson I learned is that when people start telling me cancer stories or stories about people they know that went through chemo, rads, etc. I immediately cut them off and say, "If this isn't a positive story or doesn't have a happy ending, I really don't want to hear it."  It makes most people think about what they are saying!  You will be able to do this. Maybe you can tell your family you'd like to start on your own but will certainly reserve the right to change youe mind if you need to!

Hope60, I live alone as well and I knew even before I started chemo that I didn't want to stay with anyone or have anyone stay with me. Obviously if it had gone very badly that might have been different. But I value my privacy and I knew I could always ask for help if I needed it. Chemo was unpleasant, in all kinds of ways, but some things I was scared of, like nausea, never happened. The drugs were very effective in that respect. I worked through all my months of chemo. On infusion days, I went to work in the morning then walked a few blocks to the hospital, did the infusion for several hours, and took a bus home. Sounds crazy I know. But the thing is the problems never hit me until 2 days later. Here's what I learned. The scheduling was key. I had the infusion on a Thursday and thought I would have my worst days on the weekend when I could rest. But actually Monday was maybe my worst day. I would have backed the treatment up a day thinking about it now. Also the effects are cumulative. After the first one I thought, hey this isn't so bad, but by the 4th one, I was really struggling with some of the SEs. Still by then I also knew what to expect. I had become an expert on the stages of the aftermath.

I should have taken some time off during treatment. I didn't take a single day off except the hours of the infusion. I would go in Fridays because Fridays were fine, it hadn't hit me yet. But now I realize I stressed myself out way too much. It wasn't heroics or anything. My office has had several rounds of layoffs and I am terrified of losing my insurance. I am just bringing this up because while being on my own was no problem in chemo, working too much was. I would say do what feels comfortable to you. It sounds as though staying with your family would be much more stressful than keeping your regular routine and having support from friends. I was very happy to be in my own place when I was having difficulties. 

Jenn - I did a lot of the television, sleep, computer, sleep   It took me awhile to adjust from being so active to being a lazy arse but hey......when you feel bad why make it worse by doing housework and cleaning?

I worked throughout chemo, and did everything else that I needed/wanted to do also. I wanted (and psychologically needed) to keep my life as normal as possible. Everyone has a different experience, but with the good anti-nausea drugs & more regulated doses than in the past where it was more of a 'one size fits all sort of thing', most people really find it yucky but manageable. Don't listen to any horror stories, and as suggested, cut anyone off who starts one (SIL sounds like someone you will want to stay away from!!!!).  If you have friends who will bring you to/from chemo, bring you meals, volunteer to do errands for you etc. ABSOLUTELY take them up on it. If they ask if there's anything they can do, say yes there is, and tell them specially what you need. It will be helpful to you, and most people who REALLY want to help are glad to know what you want/need (and aren't going to tell you stupid worst case senario stories either). Best of Luck! Ruth

I think the ladies who have responded offer some excellent advice! My daughter is a triple negative survivor and had A/C and Taxol. I was diagnosed HER2/nue 23 months after her and selected a research protocol treatment. My daughter and I reacted very differently to our chemo plans. Age makes some difference with A/C apparently. My daughter was 35 and had more unusual side effects. As much a doctors understand about statistics and side effects, for a patient it is a "first" experience. It's good to have someone you can call just incase you need help.

Even though my daughter had a difficult time in the beginning of treatment, once her scripts were altered and her A/C infusions were broken up and given separately she never missed a day of work. Yes, she was tired and a few days she did not work for 8 hours, but she made it through!

Keep us up on whats going on. You will get through it, and then be able to help others because of your experience. Best of Luck! Ruth

And whatever else you like to do; do it as much as you can. I stuck to a (reduced) exercise schedule because that was important to me, and went out to coffee with my girlfriends (usually drinking 7 Up, because coffee didn't sound good), went to my kids concerts, sporting events etc.(leaving early if I needed to). I think it is good when you have other things going on, so you don't only think about all the cancer stuff all the time.

I felt the same way -- decide you will handle this - I decided to take a portable DVD with me to all my chemo treatments ( I had triple negative so I was given very strong chemo).  The movies I watched made the time go by and kept my mind off receiving the chemo.  Noone else in the room had one.  I felt the room full of people receiving chemo was sort of depressing so I concentrated on the movies.  I did not have much naseau - If you have any, tell the nurses to give you something - I kept the pills handy and only used them a couple of times.  The nurses are GREAT and provide support for you.  I received my treatments in 2008/2009.  I also had a sarcoma cancer tumor in my leg which was removed in 2007.  My family has no history of cancer.  I now walk with a limp, but am back playing golf.  Your friends want to help - let them - go out to dinner, movies, etc.  My last CT scans have been negative.  Good luck to you and feel free to ask me anytthing.  This support system can be your best friend for understanding and providing you support.  Good luck - kathy