You know you're a cancer patient when....

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited September 2010

    littletower- LOL! 

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  • squidwitch42
    squidwitch42 Member Posts: 2,228
    edited September 2010

    and then there is that new addiction to earrings :) I recently scored the most beautiful pair...$8.00!

    when you can't wait to go to the hospital gift shop (see above)

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  • DesignerMom
    DesignerMom Member Posts: 1,464
    edited September 2010
    mnmom-Okay, gotta ask, did you mean " no pants in your pockets"  or is this just another chemo brain typo like my nymph lodes instead of lymph nodes.  It matters not, it made me laugh!
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  • squidwitch42
    squidwitch42 Member Posts: 2,228
    edited September 2010

    LOL...I wondered the same thing, and kept imagining a very strange pair of pants.  I missed the nymph lodes (LOL!) but it reminds me of a pre-chemo flub of mine:

    Back in the day on my college campus, I saw a sign for the upcoming meeting of the Global Nomads.  I thought it said Nobal Gonads. I was alarmed.

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  • KimMN
    KimMN Member Posts: 39
    edited September 2010

    when you've been at work for over an hour and you realize you've left your keys in the car.  You go back out to the parking garage and thankfully find the car unlock so you can get the keys out of the ignition, but realize the car is still running.  oopsies.

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  • littletower
    littletower Member Posts: 333
    edited September 2010

    KimMN...hilarious! And designermom...seriously fab avatar and actually, I think I've decided I will use the term "nymph nodes" from now on. The visual is just too good and I look forward to the puzzled look on peoples faces! 

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  • Lady_Madonna
    Lady_Madonna Member Posts: 472
    edited September 2010

    Designermom, Squidwitch... I think I can help on this one!  (My chemo brain is FINALLY easing and I'm starting to GET stuff again!!!) RE: mnmom... She meant to type it that way, that's why it's funny- when she was in the store with her son she asked him to carry her cell phone b/c she didn't have any "PANTS in her POCKETS!!" 

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  • mnmom
    mnmom Member Posts: 2,068
    edited November 2010

    Designermom, Squidwitch,

    True, I really meant to say pockets in my pants when I was talking to him but the chemo brain...

    I had no pants in my pockets or pockets in my pants ...just a chemo brain that does not process the words in order all the time. so I asked him ".....cause  I do not have any pants in my pockets" I really meant pockets in my pants. Anyhow it was good for about 10 minutes of laughing & teasing me.

    similar to a previous post about the hair down there...When it come back patchy (gross) & you even entertain an eyebrow pencil to fill it in & then think why????

    When you are so glad to not have to shave & then so glad to get to again.Undecided

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  • shockedat39
    shockedat39 Member Posts: 252
    edited September 2010

    Had to jump on this thread;

    You know you're a cancer patient when...

    Your chest looks like Ken hacked Barbie with a chainsaw.

    You refer to not having nipples as a "bright side".

    Love this.  Thanks for the laugh all! 

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  • DesignerMom
    DesignerMom Member Posts: 1,464
    edited September 2010

    STOP!   Now I am really laughing too hard and as I am drinking enough to float a battle ship the day after chemo,  I better hurry and go pee, cause you know how that goes!

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  • Leah_S
    Leah_S Member Posts: 8,458
    edited September 2010

    You know you're a cancer patient when, yes, you do indeed know how that goes!

    Leah

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  • jenn3
    jenn3 Member Posts: 3,316
    edited September 2010

    LMAO

    ........the one about the nipple erection reminded me of something my coworkers and I laughed about at work - almost the same thing.

    you know your a cancer patient when.............it's so cold, you have chicken skin, but can proudly walk without the arms crossed because the indicators have been turned off ----- for good.

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  • Chevyboy
    Chevyboy Member Posts: 10,786
    edited September 2010
    Dear girls.....When I need a laugh, or need to be assured, I just come here, and thank God that you women are my mentors!  You are all incredible!  You have gone through soooooo much, & still have a sense of humor!  I have not gone through NEAR what you gals have....I only had breast cancer!   I just say I am proud to "know" you!    xoxoxoxoxoxo
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  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited September 2010

    My sister pointed out on a family photo that her "highbeams" were on. Gee, I felt real bad when I had to correct her and tell her it was her lowbeams that were showing....hehehehehehehe.

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  • Firni
    Firni Member Posts: 1,519
    edited September 2010

    Barb Hahahahahaha  I'm sure your sister appreciated your observation!

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  • mtndawn
    mtndawn Member Posts: 115
    edited September 2010

    When your dh wants another man to feel you up.  In fact he says, "If he doesn't feel you up today, I'm gonna ask him to."  (referring to the surgeon we were about to visit, whom we hadn't seen since port surgery.)

    When you have a towel wrapped around you and you pull up the corners to dry your shoulder length hair, then realize you have no hair, haven't for 3 1/2 months. 

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  • Ondagrow
    Ondagrow Member Posts: 349
    edited September 2010

    After reading these post...I no longer feel alone... Furthermore, I am smiling...

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  • jenn3
    jenn3 Member Posts: 3,316
    edited September 2010

    chevy - I LOVE your avatar - is that your cat?

    sohard - you are never alone - please feel free to add some more humor - I love coming here for a laugh. 

    ...........when you spend more time sleeping on the couch than in your own bed.

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  • chrissyb
    chrissyb Member Posts: 16,818
    edited September 2010

    You know you are a cancer patient when..

    you stop talking mid sentence because you have forgotten what you were talking about.

    when you are in the middle of preparing for dinner and need something from the pantry but when you get there you ask yourself why you are there then return to the kitchen only to start something else because you forgot what you were actually doing.

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  • Omaz
    Omaz Member Posts: 5,497
    edited September 2010

    when your husband claims 'chemo-brain' everytime he forgets something.

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  • leisaparis
    leisaparis Member Posts: 587
    edited September 2010

    When I found this thread I had to read all the way from the beginning. So this is the first time I posted here. You guys are so funny.

    You know you're a cancer patient when: You no longer have to work Friday's(the weekend) cuz you've got chemo every Friday, and now you have every weekend off. Sometime there are perks. Otherwise I would be working every weekend right now. We're on overtime.

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  • LadyinBama
    LadyinBama Member Posts: 1,132
    edited September 2010

    Omaz: LOL. My DH did that at work the other day; he said he kept screwing up a drawing he was working on and told somebody that his wife was getting the chemo but he was getting the chemo brain!

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  • DesignerMom
    DesignerMom Member Posts: 1,464
    edited September 2010
    Omaz and LadyinBama-  LOL!  I have noticed that DH is sort of forgetful these days, coming into the kitchen, forgetting what he wanted.  I chalked it up to stress.  Please God, tell me chemo brain is not contagious!
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  • AStorm
    AStorm Member Posts: 1,429
    edited September 2010

    ... you realize there is no wrong way to load the dishwasher

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  • DesignerMom
    DesignerMom Member Posts: 1,464
    edited September 2010

    AStorm-Hah!  Tell that to my DH!  What is it with men always rearranging the dishwasher!  I'm with you, throw them in and let it rip!  If they aren't clean, throw them in again!

    You know you have cancer when you never truly unload the dishwasher, just fish out clean ones, piling the dirty ones in the sink.  Then when it is finally empty, you can fill it with the dirty ones.  And on and on it goes.

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  • AStorm
    AStorm Member Posts: 1,429
    edited September 2010

    ... when a friend at your door holding a huge bowl of fresh produce is the best thing that has happened all week

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  • Pamelajo
    Pamelajo Member Posts: 346
    edited September 2010

    You know you are a cancer patient when:  You can't feel your feet from chemo induced neuropathy, so it's ok when your DH steps on them with his steel toe shoes as he twirls you around the kitchen celebrating the end of chemo :)  LOL

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  • flopsy
    flopsy Member Posts: 365
    edited September 2010

    You know you are a cancer patient when you have  better FALSE HAIR, FALSE BOOBS, FALSE EYELASHES, FALSE EYEBROWS, AND HAIRLESS LEGS THAN DOLLY PARTON  and you aren't even a  HOLLYWOOD CELEBRITY but yours probably cost more.  

    Your husband takes longer than you to get ready to go somewhere because it takes you no  more than 10 minutes to get ready  because you don't have to do hair, shave legs or underarm, or use mascara or do much makeup.             

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  • Susie123
    Susie123 Member Posts: 804
    edited September 2010

    When you notice that the 18 month old that you've been holding has slid his hand down your shirt, into your bra, and you have no idea how long it's been there since you have no feeling there anymore...and did I mention that it was during preaching at Church!

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  • DesignerMom
    DesignerMom Member Posts: 1,464
    edited September 2010
    susie123-  Well I bet that woke up the boys in the congregation!  Sometimes we need to liven up those Sunday mornings!  LOL
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