Yikes...11 days till tests, anxiety!!!

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kdrez
kdrez Member Posts: 65
edited June 2014 in Not Diagnosed With a Recurrence or Metastases but Concerned
Yikes...11 days till tests, anxiety!!!
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  • kdrez
    kdrez Member Posts: 65
    edited September 2010

    Next week I begin doing nine blood tests to check for Lupus since my specialist is very concerned.  My cells are confused and fighting each other since chemo and radiation.  On Sept. 13th the tests begin:  cbc, mamo, PET scan, then meeting with doctor for the results.  I feel anxiety creeping and my nerves are getting pretty tensed.  I have tried valium, but that only makes me sleepy, and I walk even if it's 2:00 a.m. in the morning.  I am trying to prepare myself for the good news, but it is hard to imagine if the cancer has spread and how do I tell my children who are in their early 20's.  Again, I remind myself that cancer is manageable like diabetes and heart disease, but deep down - the reality of tests and listening to the results is going to be very scary.  I can't talk to my little brother and younger sisters because they don't want to listen because they are depressed and my friends cry when I talk to them.  Some of my friends have pulled away because I have cancer, it brings up memories of their mothers or their family members who died of cancer.  I am so thankful for journal writing.  I am being strong as I can and I don't want to make anyone sad - but does anyone have ideas to help ease my anxiety??? 

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  • Racquel
    Racquel Member Posts: 63
    edited September 2010

    Big hugs sweety!  How about a nice hot bubble bath with candles and a good book before bed?  Maybe try some good music.  My go to music is either Enrique Iglesias or Celine Dion.  Not sure why but they both greatly reduce my anxiety.  I try to believe it's a manageable disease but deep down I don't think I really believe myself.  This week I'm right there with you on the anxiety.  I had a chest x-ray and bloodwork done beginning of this week.  X-ray didn't detect anything.  I have appt for some specialized MRI next Thursday.  NO CLUE what that means.  All they told me is that it'll take longer than a standard MRI.  :(  Turns out there was a suspicious lymph node that was to be checked TEN MONTHS ago.  Nobody told me!  Honestly, having gone through it like you have, the waiting is the worst.  For me the waiting game is worse than having them tell me "it's back" or "woops, we missed that".  At least if they says it is then we know what we're in for.  KWIM?  All my best.  Just breathe sweety! 

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  • kdrez
    kdrez Member Posts: 65
    edited September 2010

    Many thanks for the support Raquel.  I hope everything turns out ok on your MRI. I think that two baths a day may do wonders.  I guess the lulling period is something that I need to get used to, but use my time more importantly.  Thanks for the advice!!!  You take care!

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