Feeling nervous and edgy since anniversary

Hi, Clariceak:  I'm approaching my TWO year cancerversary the end of Sept. and am definitely edgy.  Although I recently had an MRI of all my organs (due to my triple neg status) and cleared that with flying colors, the closer I get, the more I recall the horridness of it.  And, of course, being diagnosed with lymphedema five months ago, kind of makes it hard to forget anything.  I think what you are going through is a perfectly natural reaction and that as time goes by, that will eventually lessen.  My sister is going on eight years and she still gets a twinge whenever her cancerversary nears, but is grateful that it's not as difficult as it once was. Sounds like you are doing a lot of good things for yourself now.

As part of my lymphedema therapy am learning how to deep breathe--from my toes up.  I find that really hard to envision but I've been sticking to it right before my MLD twice a day.  Sometimes I'm successful, other times not.  But when it works, I do feel a sense of peace.  Is that hyperventalating??

I've been dealing with flares all summer long.  I find LE harder than going through the cancer treatments cause this is forever.  Do you visit  the Lymphedema forum here?  It has loads of information and sympathizers.  I couldn't do it without those wonderful women.

Good luck and know you have plenty of company.

I had my one year anniversary in June - I acknowledged I think here and to my immediate family.  I just didn't feel like making a big deal out of it. I am taking Effexor for hotflashes and have found another benefit is that I feel "leveled" if that makes sense.  I'm much happier, less worried and am enjoying more.  I know you don't like medications, but sometimes they help get us back on track. 

(((hugs))) from what I understand each anniversay gets better. 

Jenn

YES!!!  A year out I felt so edgy I had trouble functioning.  No one knew I was having trouble but I was incredibly distracted (defense mechanism to prevent me from thinking about it).  It was exhaustinig!  I finally went for counseling.  It was the BEST thing I have ever done!!!!!  I never took anti-anxiety meds on a regular basis but I should have asked for some.  I think we go through treatment on auto pilot with our physical survival (and our families well being) the most important thing.  Then treatment stops, we breathe and we think, "OMG!  What the h%*l did I just go through?"  We then process all the thoughts that we pushed back for the last year.

Anyway, to answer your question:  I went to counseling for a short time, got back into life by seeing friends more, tried to do things that gave me joy.  And...just sort of took a breath and exhaled.