How much more can we take!

kim40
kim40 Member Posts: 904
edited June 2014 in Stage III Breast Cancer
How much more can we take!
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  • kim40
    kim40 Member Posts: 904
    edited August 2010

    Here's the story.  Things are finally settling down from my cancer d/x - finished Herceptin in July, muga scans, etc.  Our life is getting back into our "new normal" state.

    My family has been there for me every step of the way.  My parents are feeling more at ease and my only sibling, my brother calls me every day.

    Well, now the tables have turned.  My brother was not feeling well for a while and just didn't tell anyone.  He went to the doctor because of the dizzy spells he was having.  She sent him for blood work asap.  He was admitted right away and needed a blood transfusion asap.  They told us that it was more than likely a bleeding ulcer.

    They sent him for a scope - not a bleeding ulcer.  They found a mass in his stomach and something on his lung.  They took samples and we wll know more on Monday, but his doctor is 99% sure that it is cancer!!

    We are devastated.  In the past 1.5 years, first me, then my mother in law, and now my brother.  My parents can't believe how unlucky we are to win this cancer lottery! 

    I am speechless and numb. Life is so unfair.  

    I have been told that God doesn't give us anything that we can't handle.  But He could really give my family a break. 

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  • lorrhaw
    lorrhaw Member Posts: 751
    edited August 2010

    I am so sorry to hear the news about your brother.  Your family has been through a lot and I will pray that things get better soon for all of you.

    Lorraine

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  • iodine
    iodine Member Posts: 4,289
    edited August 2010

    Well, that's just a kick in the head.  I agree that God could give you all a break.  Here's to good recovery for your brother and know that all of you will be in prayers.

    I'm so glad you posted and that you are recovering.

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  • lago
    lago Member Posts: 17,186
    edited August 2010

    OMG I'm so sorry for you and your family but you will get through this. My uncle has stomach cancer when I was a kid. He's in his late 70's (I'm almost 50 so it's been a while since I was a kid Wink). Been NED since he was first treated… and remember now they have lots more to fight this with.

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  • somanywomen
    somanywomen Member Posts: 872
    edited August 2010
    Kim...What in the heck is going on in America??...Doesn't it seem that every time we turn around lately, that cancer is effecting so many more lives than ever.....In the past year, I have had several family members get dx'd....The most recent is my nephews 35 yr old wife...esophageal/stomach cancer stage 3...What is going on...I believe it has so much to do with the chemicals/pesticides in foods etc......Just seems to be hitting younger and younger....Wishing you and your family the very best.....
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  • KerryMac
    KerryMac Member Posts: 3,529
    edited August 2010

    Well, sh*t Kim. I am so sorry. Life just does not seem fair sometimes.

    Sending out hugs to you and your family. Keep us updated when you know more. 

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  • Kodapants
    Kodapants Member Posts: 139
    edited August 2010

    Kim,  I'm sorry about the news of your brother having cancer I hope and pray all goes well. 

    Blessings,  Koda 

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  • Pure
    Pure Member Posts: 1,796
    edited August 2010

    oh Kim I am so sorry:) I will go right to prayer for your brother. I am so sorry!

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  • chrishat
    chrishat Member Posts: 89
    edited August 2010

    i'm so sorry too.

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  • mmm5
    mmm5 Member Posts: 1,470
    edited August 2010

    Kim 

    you are not alone! The night before I went for my first chemo my middle son was really acting up he just was having the most bizarre behavior he was 7 at the time and I thought WOW it has to be because he is so negatively impacted by my dx and he is acting up. I decided to take him to the pediatrician to see if they could give me some advice and just make sure nothing else was up. WIthin 10 minutes of being there my son was admitted to the hospital dxed with juvenile diabetes and had to spend 6 days to get stabilized! I just could not believe what was happening, I got up the next morning to report for my first chemo alone as my whole family was at hospital with my son.....praying he would be ok. Now when I tell this story to others I feel like it is an out of body experience as I am speaking about someone else's family. Recently a "friend" accidentally dialed my number "but dialed" and was talking to another "friend" (for 30 mins not knowing she had dialed me) about how terrible it is what had happened to my family and I just could not believe people were talking about my life. 

    But....what I have realized after the last 2 1/2 years is so many families have this pain. 1 in 3.3 women will get cancer in lifetime and close for men. So the reality is everyone is dealing with it at sometime and we are not alone it is just so unreal when we are and I believe we are getting younger and younger with cancer dx. I think the more I reach out to others I realize they have had so much pain as well, I was just in my own little perfect bubble of no major life crisis.

    So I guess what I am trying to say is you are not alone, I truly emphasize with what you are going through and your family can come out the other side of this. It is painful and beyond comprehension but I pray that you will find peace, healing and support during this time. I am so sorry your family is dealing with so much. Prayers for your brother this weekend that his dx is something very treatable.  

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  • AnacortesGirl
    AnacortesGirl Member Posts: 1,758
    edited August 2010

    What a rough weekend for you and your family having to wait till next week to find out more.  I'm sending my thoughts and hope that there will be some good news in what you hear next week.

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  • BaseballFan
    BaseballFan Member Posts: 859
    edited August 2010

    I, too, have been told by so many people over the years that "God only gives us what we can handle".   My husband and I lost a 7 month old to a heredity disease I carried.  Then our daughter was born with a rare neurological condition and not expected to live through the night (she's 26 now).  I had a miscarriage and since have very willingly taken care of my 26 year old who needs a lot of personal care due to physical, mental and medical issues.  Then came the big "C" in 2009.  After our son died, I asked our minister about that "God only...." thing.  He said it can't be found anywhere in the Bible....but is a great 'Hallmark line".  The actual Bible verse is that "we are given us as much TEMPTATION as we can handle".  In other words, we are able to resist temptation from sin if we choose to.   I don't believe we are "given things to handle as a test".  Stuff happens.  And I believe that God doesn't like it any more than we do.  But he's there....and he's listening.   Certainly don't want to come across as having all the answers.....cause I don't.  And after 28 years of this.....I must admit sometimes I have to remind myself too.  My heart and prayers go out to you and your family

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  • Bugs
    Bugs Member Posts: 1,719
    edited August 2010

    Oh, Kim I'm so sorry!   Your brother will be added to my prayer list.  The ONLY positive in this is that  since you have experience in the cancer world, you can help him through this in a way you couldn't have before.

    {{big hugs}}

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  • KittyDog
    KittyDog Member Posts: 1,079
    edited August 2010

    (((((HUGS))))))

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  • pickle
    pickle Member Posts: 1,409
    edited August 2010

    Kim: So rorry to hear this sad news. I am sending Big hugs to you and your faimily.

    Hugs

    Beth P

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  • kimber3006
    kimber3006 Member Posts: 586
    edited August 2010

    Kim - I'm so sorry to hear about your brother - too much.  I'll be praying for all of you.

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  • jenn3
    jenn3 Member Posts: 3,316
    edited August 2010

    Kim - I am so sorry for not responding earlier - I missed this thread. 

    Life really does seem unfair at times and saying "why me" isn't something we normally do, but at times like this you do wonder "why me, why my family"  I am so sorry for what your and your family are going through.

    (((hugs))))

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  • Annie62
    Annie62 Member Posts: 1,081
    edited August 2010

    Kim, I am so sorry to hear about your brother (and you!).

     My family 'jokes' that we are the cancer family. Lot's of cancer of all types.

    What I wanted to tell you was that my dad had a large tumor that attached to his stomach, pancreas, and other abdominal organs. He had a 'Whipple' procedure and was cancer free for 10 years despite heavy drinking and smoking. I just wanted to tell you that there is hope. 

    My thoughts are with you.

    Annie

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  • apple
    apple Member Posts: 7,799
    edited August 2010

    Kim  - a big hug for you.  We found out my bro has stage III lymphoma and leukemia this year.  My other brother has been treated for leukemia.  My sis has had numerous physical and mental issues.  We lost another brother to schizophrenia / suicide.  We are a bit stunned at these twists and turns our once peaceful and happy life took.

    you and your brother are in my prayers.

    I don't know that I believe that God gives us only what we can handle. I know of many people who have way too much on their plate.  A man who lost his wife to cancer and his daughter to severe burns in the same week.. they were my next door neighbors and friends in my childhood.  The man has never been the same...  sometimes life sucks.

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  • Pure
    Pure Member Posts: 1,796
    edited August 2010

    Hi there, I am so sorry Kim. When I got diagnosed on my husbands 10 year anniversary of being cancer free I was so confused as to God's plan. Life is crazy and so unfair. I just try to find the blessings and focus on those. I am so sorry your going through this and I will keep you in my prayers!

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  • kim40
    kim40 Member Posts: 904
    edited August 2010

    Thank you everyone for your support and prayers.  These past few days have been very difficult. 

    My brother has been d/x with lymphoma.  We don't know anything else but that.  Hoping that he gets in to see his oncologist real soon.  I wish he lived closer.  I feel so helpless.  I live in Nova Scotia and he lives in Edmonton, Alberta.  I just can't pick up and go.  I'm trying to help him the best way that I can from this end of the country.  I'm planning to make a trip and go see him, it just a matter of when I will go. 

    Please keep him in your prayers.  I appreciate it.

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  • Bugs
    Bugs Member Posts: 1,719
    edited August 2010

    I'm sorry, Kim.  {{hugs}}  He is in my prayers (and you).

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  • apple
    apple Member Posts: 7,799
    edited August 2010

    know Kim, that my brother who is stage 3 lymphoma and leukemia (with cancer in his bone marrow) is having no treatment.. they are waiting till he is symptomatic.  I hope it is easy for your brother.

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  • KerryMac
    KerryMac Member Posts: 3,529
    edited August 2010

    Oh, Kim, I am so so sorry. ((((Hugs)))) to you. Let us know how he is doing.

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  • Beverly11
    Beverly11 Member Posts: 443
    edited September 2010

    Kim - Keeping you & your family in my prayers. 

    Hugs,

    Bev

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  • pupfoster1
    pupfoster1 Member Posts: 1,484
    edited September 2010

    Damn it your'e right Kim, enough is enough.  It amazes me how some families just seem to "glide" through their lives with just the most minimal issues, and then how people like us seem to keep getting clobbered with one thing after another, either personally or with another family member crisis.  And I am very sorry to hear about your brother's likely cancer DX.  Do you feel comfortable where he's being treated?

    Best to you and your family Kim,

    Love,

    Sharon

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  • Mom3
    Mom3 Member Posts: 170
    edited September 2010

    Cancer stinks, that's for sure. I'm sorry about your brother. Please don't blame God. Unfortunatley, in this sinful world we live in bad things happen to good people. God will give you the strength to endure. Hang in there and know that God cares.

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  • kim40
    kim40 Member Posts: 904
    edited October 2010

    Thank you everyone for your kind words, prayers and suport.  This has been very difficult time for my family.

    My brother (Dave) has been d/x with gastric lymphoma.  The tumour that he has is 6cm x 4cm, so it is quite large.  We've been told that it is unresponsive to chemo so that it out, so he is doing radiation.  He is on the table for 3 minutes at a time which  is a while isn't it??

    We are hoping that radiation will shrink it to being non-existance.  We can only hope and pray. 

    We haven't told our parents the full scoop of the story as they really don't need anymore bad news with the word "cancer" in a sentence.  We decided that we will hold off on giving them anymore bad news only if we have too.  They seemed to be so relieved when they heard no chemo - but they don't fully understand the whole realm of it all.

    Please pray for him.  We really do need good news.

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  • NancyD
    NancyD Member Posts: 3,562
    edited October 2010

    Kim, I'm just finding this thread, and want to give my support to you and your family for all that you're going through. It does feel like so many people around us are now coming down with cancer. I'll pray for him.

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  • pip57
    pip57 Member Posts: 12,401
    edited October 2010

    It feels as if someone has pulled the rug out from under you doesn't it?  I am so sorry to hear so many sisters having so many problems to deal with.

    As for the  "God only gives us..."  I don't buy into that one.  When my mom had bc and my teenage daughter fought cancer, I found comfort in the book "When Bad Things Happen To Good People".

    And here is one of my favorite quotes from "Death Be Not Proud".  This is from a mother who has just lost her teenage son to cancer in the 40's.

    "Life is a myriad series of mutations, chemical, physical, spiritual.  The same infinitely intricate, yet profoundly simple, law of life that produced Johnny...the law of life which out of infinite mutation had produced Johnny, that law still mutating, destroyed him.  God Himself, no less than us, is part of that law.  The law of mutations, in its various forms, is the law of the universe.  It is impersonal, inevitable.  Grief cannot be concerned with it."

    Both are great reads for those in overwhelming situations. 

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