You know you're a cancer patient when....

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  • KittyDog
    KittyDog Member Posts: 1,079
    edited August 2010

    when you had more good cries in the bathroom than anywhere else. 

    on the toliet because your bottom hurts so bad from the chemical burn chemo cause, and two because it's the only place nobody will see you crying.

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  • badger
    badger Member Posts: 34,614
    edited August 2010

    {{Abby}}

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  • squidwitch42
    squidwitch42 Member Posts: 2,228
    edited August 2010

    What Badger said Abby!  Bless your Bum :(

    Badger,

    "The Trouble with Tribbles"  Hee!

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  • KittyDog
    KittyDog Member Posts: 1,079
    edited August 2010

    now you all know why I peed in a cup.  lol.  I never even shared that with my Dr.'s

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  • KittyDog
    KittyDog Member Posts: 1,079
    edited August 2010

    Okay this has nothing to do with chemo but I thought this is the place for a good laugh.  Somebody posted it on my scrapbook forum.

    Quickie in the Bushes...


    There are two statues in a park; One of a nude man and one of a nude woman.
    They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years, when one day an angel comes down from the sky and, with a single gesture, brings the two to life!!!!!!!!


    The angel tells them, 'As a reward for being so patient through a hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for thirty minutes to do what you've wished to do the most.'
    He looks at her, she looks at him, and they go running behind the shrubbery.
    The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and giggling ensues.
    After fifteen minutes, the two return, out of breath and laughing.
    The angel tells them, 'Um, you have fifteen minutes left, would you care to do it again?'
    He asks her 'Shall we?'

    She eagerly replies, 'Oh, yes, let's! But let's change positions....


    This time, I'll hold the pigeon down and you poo on its head.'

    ----------------AND WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?

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  • NativeMainer
    NativeMainer Member Posts: 10,462
    edited August 2010

    you know you're a cancer patient when you hibernate in the bedroom with the AC on during an unseanably hot day and don't worry about the electric bill going up. . .

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  • gillyone
    gillyone Member Posts: 1,727
    edited August 2010

    when you touch your port and say " beam me up Scotty" and fall about laughing hysterically and everyone else is looking at you as if you're bonkers.

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  • AStorm
    AStorm Member Posts: 1,429
    edited August 2010

    ... when you start quoting posts from this thread and your daughter says, "that's not funny, it's just sadd" but you laugh anyway

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  • badger
    badger Member Posts: 34,614
    edited August 2010

    LOL Gill ~ Live Long and Prosper!

    p.s. that goes for Traci and Abby and any other Trek-sisters Cool

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  • o2bhealthy
    o2bhealthy Member Posts: 2,101
    edited August 2010

    I went to my first 'Survivor Retreat'  this weekend.  How refreshing to spend the whole weekend with 50 other women who 'get it'!!!   It was like playing charades as we tried to figure out 'what's that word...?'  and instead of having to explain chemo brain, you just giggle and start a new topic Smile

     My favorite funny moment;  sitting at the dinner table taking recon and all the sudden six of us flash our new foobs completely forgetting about the "male' kitchen staff 10 feet away...priceless Laughing

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  • KittyDog
    KittyDog Member Posts: 1,079
    edited August 2010
    gillyone wrote:

    when you touch your port and say " beam me up Scotty" and fall about laughing hysterically and everyone else is looking at you as if you're bonkers.

    think I will do this at my next port flush and oncology visit.

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  • Adey
    Adey Member Posts: 3,610
    edited August 2010

    My 17 year old totally appreciated a comment from someone on these boards...

    "My new hair brush is a lint roller!"

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  • Firni
    Firni Member Posts: 1,519
    edited August 2010

    Hahahaha  I remember that!

    Good thing your boobies aren't any bigger yet, Adey.  You might have tipped the pot over! 

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  • AStorm
    AStorm Member Posts: 1,429
    edited August 2010

    ... when your supply of thank you cards is diminishing but your heart is still overflowing with gratitude

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  • marlegal
    marlegal Member Posts: 2,264
    edited August 2010

    CT, funny story ... i had a cleaning service and the lead guy saw my LE sleeve .. asked if i had BC and i said yeah....he said that they gave a 20% discount to cancer patients who were going through treatment and I thought "cool, i'll get $40 off (they were doing a deep clean at my place for $200) and then they finished, and he gave me the $200 bill, and I kind of looked at him, and he remembered, and said "Oh, you're fine now, no need for a discount, isn't that cool?"  I was like WTF? are you friggin kidding me????  am I never going to get to play the cancer card???

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  • kittycat
    kittycat Member Posts: 2,144
    edited August 2010

    when you compare the service at pharmacies in your area (and you and your DH get excited when you get scrips in 5 minutes)!  :)

    when you have to return a brow pencil because it doesn't quite work with your thinning brows.  You put it in a baggie with your meds to refill (so chemo brain doesn't forget).  And you don't care if the girl at the beauty store looks at your baggie strangely with a brow pencil and prescription bottle.  LOL!!

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  • lassie11
    lassie11 Member Posts: 1,500
    edited August 2010

    when you won't let the pedicure woman wax the hair on your toes because it is so wonderful to have hair at all.

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  • AStorm
    AStorm Member Posts: 1,429
    edited August 2010

    ... when you have to type a list of all the prescriptions, vitamins, and supplements you are currently taking so you'll be prepared when the pre-op nurse asks

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  • kittycat
    kittycat Member Posts: 2,144
    edited August 2010

    When you write on the top of our hand "GET MEDS" so you don't forget!  People must really think I'm a pill popper (well I am right now)!  :)

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  • LadyinBama
    LadyinBama Member Posts: 1,132
    edited August 2010

    When you are watching Denver in a preseason NFL game and you catch yourself looking very closely at Tim Tebow's head and thinking "they just shaved his hair off a couple of weeks ago and he already has a nice head of hair coming back, so maybe it won't take mine too long to grow some."

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  • kittycat
    kittycat Member Posts: 2,144
    edited August 2010

    when happiness is sitting outside and enjoying the beautiful weather (it's in the 80's in Las Vegas)

    and riding your ATV up the street, letting the wind blow in your face and so happy your wig stays on!!! 

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  • junie
    junie Member Posts: 1,216
    edited August 2010

    what a great read this thread is--have seen it mentioned other places so had to check it out!  Will toss my "patient" story into the thread because I don't recall anyone posting about........."old age spots" on backs of hands and forearms......after my 3rd tx of A/C, I was in awe that ALL my body hairs had gone buh-bye.......while staring at my arms, it dawned on me that all of my many, many "old age" spots on hands/arms had totally disappeared!!!!  (know many of you are too young to have this problem, but maybe some of the older posters can relate???)   Did anyone else experience this???    Looking now, I can count maybe 6 "freckles" total--prior to chemo, the "freckles" were too many to count.

    ....

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  • micheleboots
    micheleboots Member Posts: 1,993
    edited August 2010

    Junie, lucky you.  If only chemo would take away the bags under my eyes.

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  • chrishat
    chrishat Member Posts: 89
    edited August 2010

    when your post-chemo hair comes back in totally gray so you think it would be good to dye it a nice auburn/brown shade. and it turns out pinkish purplish orange and you look like a dr. seuss character.(not exaggerating here....i'm ready for halloween....going as cindy lou hoo) and you don't even care! because so what! it's hair! it's kindof funny!

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  • JustmeAlicia
    JustmeAlicia Member Posts: 1,529
    edited August 2010

    when your kids tell you MOM, calm your nips...and you say "I can't I don't have any"..  LOL

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  • KittyDog
    KittyDog Member Posts: 1,079
    edited August 2010

    when you can't remember whether you took your darn pills or not.  Just did that.  lol  I must refill my weekly pill holder.

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  • AStorm
    AStorm Member Posts: 1,429
    edited August 2010

    ... when all your pills don't fit in the weekly pill holder

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  • KittyDog
    KittyDog Member Posts: 1,079
    edited August 2010

    lol  that's why I do half in the morning side and the other half on the nightside. 

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  • Lowrider54
    Lowrider54 Member Posts: 2,721
    edited August 2010

    OMG...KimMN - you too?  Since it was rather an urgent reconstruction job (long story) I had an implant and breast reduction - since I have lost weight, the implant is larger than the reduced one!

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  • Lowrider54
    Lowrider54 Member Posts: 2,721
    edited August 2010

    ...when you toss and turn trying so hard to go to sleep and at about 2am, you finally realize you never took the last xanax and percocet for the day - too late as you have to be up at 5am and sure won't be if you take them at that hour. 

    Needless to say, I am dragging my a$$ today...

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