You know you're a cancer patient when....

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  • Adey
    Adey Member Posts: 3,610
    edited August 2010

    Bama-

    Right!  And when you run down the stairs you don't have to hold the boobs; aka empty wallets, with or without a bra, so they don't bounce all over the place.

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  • deborye
    deborye Member Posts: 7,002
    edited August 2010

    marlegal,

    I'll try that.  Must be something new.

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  • DesignerMom
    DesignerMom Member Posts: 1,464
    edited August 2010

    When you envy your MX sisters cause they don't have to wear bras and have perky ones.  Mine look like two cats fighting under a tee shirt if I don't wear a bra!  And by the way, they make a farting noise too!

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  • Adey
    Adey Member Posts: 3,610
    edited August 2010

    Hah, cats fighting... and farting!

    When you burn your perky but numb new boob on a big ole pot on the stove, notice it the next day, and delay your chemo for a month.

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  • Wonderland
    Wonderland Member Posts: 3,288
    edited August 2010

    Ouch Adey! That's scary! Hope you're healed now.

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  • squidwitch42
    squidwitch42 Member Posts: 2,228
    edited August 2010

    adey!

    bless your heart....It reminds me how careful we need to be...I was leaning over a fence that has these sharp metal "adornments" that I quickly realized before any damage, that I don't feel there anymore..

    I hope you have healed well!!!!

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  • Adey
    Adey Member Posts: 3,610
    edited August 2010
    Thanks ladies, not yet, but much better, it was a doozie!  I hope (can't belive I said that) to start chemo in September.  Surprised
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  • kittycat
    kittycat Member Posts: 2,144
    edited August 2010

    when your husband comes home from work and goes to work the next morning and you're in bed asleep the entire time he's home!!!  (this was me last night)

    when you realize that business trips are not a good idea and you just can't do what you used to do anymore!

    Astorm - I love the migrating implant that turned out to be your cat!!

    when you use the stuffed animal your husband gave you in the hospital to lay across your foobs post BMX, so the cats don't trot across your chest!  Ouch!!!

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  • chrishat
    chrishat Member Posts: 89
    edited August 2010

    omg adey, what a bummer! i'm still not used to being totally numb.....we have to be so careful.

    you know you're a cancer patient when turbulance on an airplane doesn't scare you anymore. at all.

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  • Firni
    Firni Member Posts: 1,519
    edited August 2010

    Adey, just how big are your boobs that you're burning them on pots?

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  • Adey
    Adey Member Posts: 3,610
    edited August 2010

    Firni-

    Hah!  Why I otta...  big ole stock pot (12" ish)), short chick (5' 3"), Not yet fully inflated fake boobs (A cupish), leaning in to stir or whatever = nasty burn!  It's been a month and still isn't healed, on the way though.  Laughing

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  • Leah_S
    Leah_S Member Posts: 8,458
    edited August 2010

    ...when you read violet7's post about how her dad carries chihuahuas and decide they would make a terrific (albeit unusual) prosthesis.

    SO much wanting to try it....

    Leah

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  • deborye
    deborye Member Posts: 7,002
    edited August 2010

    Oh bugs, that is too funny.  At least you weren't making fart noises with your armpits. LOL

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  • marlegal
    marlegal Member Posts: 2,264
    edited August 2010

    chrishat, i get  your post about flying!! 

    so here's my "why did i marry thsi asshole" post for today ... getting dressed this morning and i couldn't think of a word ... he told me, and i said, oh yeah, that was hte word ... then he made fun of me for not knowing it ... i got teary, and said how hard it was to do that, and he said "it's not just you, it's everyone over 50" and i wondered, am i making too much of chemo brain? is he right? but then i realized, that's what we do... we over think, and maybe other women 50+ do have the same problems whether cancer related or not ... and then I thought "too bad for them that they don't have a place they can vent" !!!!!   whether cancer related or not, i need all of you when i feel i'm falling apart. is it post-treatment?  is it just 55?  f*  it   I don't care ... I just love you all and I am so glad I have a place where I can really say any old thing i want .. thank you..thank you...thank you

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  • Stanzie
    Stanzie Member Posts: 1,971
    edited August 2010

    marlegal - I just had a simliar discussion/fight and it ended badly. I didn't even think about why it was happening he just kept making fun of me for getting wrong words and for then getting upset about it.

    the burning boobs on pots reminds me of Mrs. Doubtfire! wonder if they got that part from real life. 

    Astorm - the cat on your shoulder is wonderful! My dog sleeps on my head and sometimes the snoring just confuses me. 

    Kittycat - well at least you are getting some sleep. 

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  • AStorm
    AStorm Member Posts: 1,429
    edited August 2010

    ... when the guys in the oversized trucks who like to play chicken with you over parking spaces can't win anymore... guess they can't see the pink ribbon on your bumper until after you've parked

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  • KittyDog
    KittyDog Member Posts: 1,079
    edited August 2010

    when you discover new uses for solo cups.  I can't believe I am sharing this.  However when I was on AC I had horrible time peeing.  The only way I could go was to stand up with a solo cup between the legs.  Then when we moved on to taxol...they were great for throwing up in. 

    When compazine is your best buddy followed by zofran.  

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  • kittycat
    kittycat Member Posts: 2,144
    edited August 2010

    And after the compazine, you have Ativan!  :)

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2010

    Oh Lordy, the in-the-elevator security camera and farting and burned boobs-OMG. I still have mine and again, I caught myself fondling me boobs in the driveway (again) explaining the next procedure to a neighbor.

    When you have to watch "Ultimate Hoarding-Buried Alive" just to feel better and get a bit of gratitude-then you look around your own living room-errgh! Oh Lordy we need angels!!! Hell, we are angels! Love to all, SV

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  • jlynnbain1031
    jlynnbain1031 Member Posts: 57
    edited August 2010

    when you go to buy your hubby a 6 pack of beer at the same place you always have and they know you well and ID you cause you have a new wig ! lol !!

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  • squidwitch42
    squidwitch42 Member Posts: 2,228
    edited August 2010

    StillVertical,

    Love your coping mechanism for the inevitable breakdown of your home/apartment/bedroom while undergoing treatment (and after!) 

    I watch that show and Clean House with Niecy Nash.  The "reveal" is very satisfying....mayhem and foolishness!

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  • KittyDog
    KittyDog Member Posts: 1,079
    edited August 2010

    omg I watch hoarding buried alive to just to feel better to about my house.  My childs toy room looks  about that bad.  She keeps asking when are we going to clean it.  lol 

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  • micheleboots
    micheleboots Member Posts: 1,993
    edited August 2010

    Kittydog, OMG you so made my day...peeing in a cup...wwahhhhaaaa.  I hope you didn't have an attack of chemo brain and drink from that same cup....

    Jody, how old are you that you are still being carded....Hell i wish I would be carded some day...

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  • KimMN
    KimMN Member Posts: 39
    edited August 2010

    when you look down and notice that one boob is bigger than the other boob, but not the one that was bigger before BMX, now its the one prosthetic that sits higher on top of the post surgery seroma side.

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  • Claire82
    Claire82 Member Posts: 684
    edited August 2010

    Just for your info- there is a website - http://cleaningforareason.com/

    They will clean your house for free once a month while you are undergoing treatment for cancer. The cleaning service I hired during chemo told me about and she refused payment during the 3 months I had treatment. You apply online, fax them a note from your oncologist and they find a cleaning service in your area.

    When you realize just how amazing people can be...

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  • violet7
    violet7 Member Posts: 180
    edited August 2010

    Leah, The trick is you have to tuck your shirt into your pants or the chihuahuas will fall out LOL :)  Love it, AStorm!  Bunch of little girls, those truckers, huh?

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  • dlb823
    dlb823 Member Posts: 9,430
    edited August 2010

    OMG ~ Just when I think this thread could not get any funnier, it does! 

    When checking this thread has become the first thing you do after making a cup of coffee, because you're always assured it will start your day off with a laugh!

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  • Leah_S
    Leah_S Member Posts: 8,458
    edited August 2010

    violet7, now you hjave me laughing again - it's the visual of the chihahua foobs falling out of the bottom of my shirt in the middle of the supermarket....

    Leah

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  • badger
    badger Member Posts: 34,614
    edited August 2010

    ...when you are eating healthier and reading food labels and you buy a loaf of 12-grain bread ‘cuz you see it has triticale which makes you LOL at the store thinking of the original Star Trek episode with tribbles and quadro-triticale.

    ...when your 10-week PFC hairdo is a half-inch thick mat of new hair, interspersed with longer hangers-on that made it through chemo, that mostly lays flat except for when the longer hairs stick up like remnants of last year's corn crop in this year's soybeans. 

    ...when you know you need a trim to neaten up around your ears and the nape of your neck, but you're so happy to have hair again you procrastinate because you don't want to part with any! 

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  • jenn3
    jenn3 Member Posts: 3,316
    edited August 2010

    .......when your eyebrows start growing back thicker and more wilder than ever, but you're afraid to get them waxed because you have this unwarranted fear that they might take off all your eyebrows and you'll have to start drawing again.

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