Just joining and in deep shock

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KWolf
KWolf Member Posts: 55
edited June 2014 in Stage III Breast Cancer

Hi all,

Dont have all the details yet just know I am stage 3 and in deep shock..

Kathleen

Comments

  • lauri
    lauri Member Posts: 267
    edited August 2010

    Yes, when they say "stage 3" you feel like they've pulled the rug out from under you.  Look around the stage 3 board and you can see lots of us doing just fine after significant treatment.  Feel free to vent here.

    Lauri

  • jenn3
    jenn3 Member Posts: 3,316
    edited August 2010

    Kathleen, I just wanted to welcome you and tell you I'm sorry for all that you're going through. I know hearing Stage III is scary, take it one day at a time.  Without the details, it's hard to say, but most Stage 3 patients have surgery (lumpectomy or masectomy), chemo and radiaiton.  Stage III is treated with everything - read the boards there are many, many women 5,10,15 years out.....

    ((((HUGS))) Jenn

  • KWolf
    KWolf Member Posts: 55
    edited August 2010

    I just cant stop crying and feeling helpless..  I thought I had an inflamed duct with maybe DCIS that was  what my Oncologist said after the MRI but the biopsy shows diffrent.  I made the mistake of going on my own to see my Onc she had to call my husband from work as I was a total mess.  I have to have some sort of scans done and blood work but I dont know what they are called I never looked into anything other than DCIS and the possiblity of reconstruction if I had a BMX I just dont want to die... how can you all be so brave..

    Kathleen

  • lauri
    lauri Member Posts: 267
    edited August 2010

    Kathleen, we weren't all "brave" right after the diaagnosis.  Mostly, we just keep on a-keeping on and take each treatment, each SE as it comes because that's what we have to do. 'This may be the scariest part --you don't know what's coming -- but once you get a treatment plan started you'll feel more in control.

    Does your hospital have a BC support group ?  I was directed to one by the NP who gave me the official diagnosis and I started five days later (and still go every Monday evening) -- ABSOLUTELY life-changing for me.  Or just use this board as your support group for information and understanding from people who know what you're talking about.

    Also,  does your center have a social worker to help you with the work- or not-work decisions and insurance paperwork ?  Take advantage of all the free services you can. 

    I've had MX without reconstruction, AC DD x 6 followed by weekly Taxol x 12, full round of radiation ...took off from work for almost a year, then went back full-time ... and I'm still around 4-1/2 years later to annoy my daughter.

    Lauri

  • pupfoster1
    pupfoster1 Member Posts: 1,484
    edited August 2010

    Oh Sweetie,

    I am so sorry about the news but glad you have the ladies on this site to lean on.  They have helped me beyond measure over the past year through my journey, especially on my down and darkest times.  It's only natural to feel the way you do, but PLEASE know it DOES get better, albeit with time.  

    I am confused as to your Stage III diagnosis however.  Under 5cm and with no lymph node involvement would be Stage II.  Please be sure to clarify this with your doc, AND BE AWARE YOU WILL GET ANOTHER PATHOLOGY REPORT AFTER SURGERY---your status could change.  You also are ER/PR+ which in BC speak is a GOOD thing, so try to grab on to the positive things right now.

    Please keep us posted on how things are going, and if I can answer any questions do not hestitate to PM me.

    Hugs and love,

    Sharon

  • lexi4
    lexi4 Member Posts: 1,074
    edited August 2010

    Dear Kathleen,

    I am sorry that you have been diagnosed stage III. It is very scary, but just take it one day at a time. Yes, you will probably have more tests ahead.

    It's an emotional rollercoaster for sure. Once you have a tx plan in place you'll feel a sense of control. Hang in there, we are here for you.

    Hugs and Prayers,

    Lexi

  • jenn3
    jenn3 Member Posts: 3,316
    edited August 2010

    Kathleen - I remember when I was initially diagnosed and heard Stage III, I THOUGHT that pretty much meant that I would soon move to Stave IV and then pass.  I knew NOTHING about cancer and how the staging worked, the medications that can put us into remission and how many Stage IV people are out there working, living and enjoying life.  I honestly did not realize how it all worked and by leaning on the wonderful women here, reading, reading and reading I learned so much and am still learning.  Also, Sharon's suggestion of a support group at the hospital or cancer center is another great place to talk about what you're feeling.  I also found great comfort in reading "Crazy Sexy Cancer", the author does not have breast cancer, but does have Stage IV cancer, is young and has had it for sometime.  Take it slow, one day at a time and come here for cyber (((HUGS))). 

    If you want to talk (by phone), send me a PM (private message) and I'll give you my number.

    Jenn

  • KWolf
    KWolf Member Posts: 55
    edited August 2010

    Just got back from a meeting with all my team. I got my husband to write down exactly what they said it was.

    IBC 3.4cm  Stage IIIc Grade 3 ER- PR- HER2 +  7/15 nodes suspected

    Now this is were I am so confused.  I thought let just get the surgery done and then see where we are at... My Onc and My BS are both saying I must have Chemo first and depending on the results of that will decide if I am to have surgery or not.... how can you not have surgery??? I am also to have radiation and some other drug.

    When I had my MRI they saw some lesions on my liver that looked like cysts but now they want me to have liver function tests and a pet scan.  They want me to start chemo this week and the treatment plan will be adapted as the other test results come in...

    Is all this normal... I am so lost..

  • fightinhrd123
    fightinhrd123 Member Posts: 633
    edited August 2010

    I had chemo first, and you will  get herceptin, which is like a new miracle drug for us with HER2.  I also had cysts on my liver, and thats all they turned out to be.....  After I was done with chemo, i had not one cancer cell left, not in my nodes or my breast!!  Hang in there, you can do this!!! I have a friends with IBC, same stats as you pretty much, she had same treatment, she just celebrated her fourth year cancer free!

    Laura

  • pupfoster1
    pupfoster1 Member Posts: 1,484
    edited August 2010

    Hi again Kathleen,

    So you now have a little more information, which means a little more power over this.  My GP suggested chemo first (the idea is to shrink the tumor first) as he thought mine was rather large.  I freaked out too, never hearing this concept before.  The breast surgeon didn't agree and we decided on surgery, then chemo, then radiation.  In my case, in hind site if I knew more now I may have made a different decision as my primary tumor was a whopping 6.5 cm once they went in!  Sheesh!  It probably would have been a good idea to hit it hard with chemo first.  But who knows really.  It is what it is.  And as Laura mentioned you will probably get Herceptin which is a remarkable drug for those with HER 2+ BC. 

    So in answer to your question, yes this is "normal" (whatever that is with BC lol!) procedure for where you are now.  Did they tell you what type of chemo yet?  We'll help you with that too!

    Take care,

    Sharon

  • onward
    onward Member Posts: 296
    edited August 2010

    Kathleen, sorry you have to be here but so very glad you found this site at the beginning. You will find words of comfort, knowledge, humor and will know that any time, we are behind you. It means alot.

    I had both invasive ductal and lobular cancer in my left breast. My right breast had a typical hyperplasia which is sort of a pre curser to cancer. Because of the second cancer, they decided not to do the chemo first and to do surgery.

    I chose a double mastectomy which they did on July 29, 10. The final path report showed that the lobular mass was 9.2cm (about the size of your average pancake) Because of that I popped into the stage III as well. I will be having chemo and than rads. I had 20 involved nodes out of 23 so I will probably have radiation in 3 spots.

    My advice: Stop, breathe, know that this IS something you can handle. Take one decision and one day at a time. Get support both virtual and real time, talk to the best, ignore those that are not, do your homework. Decide what is best for you and never go back to rethink once you made the decision. And know that I am praying for you in the suburbs of Chicago. Onward

  • Bugs
    Bugs Member Posts: 1,719
    edited August 2010

    Kathleen,

    Stage 3 feels like a kick in the arse, doesn't it?  My surgeon thought I had DCIS.  Pfft, we went from DCIS to stage 3 within 2 weeks.  It's tough to wrap your head around, but you'll get through this.

    Chemo before surgery is standard with stage 3'ers.  A friend of mine just had her 2nd chemo (stage 3, chemo before surgery) and she told me that the dr already notices the lump being smaller.  That is the great thing about chemo before...you can notice that the chemo is working.

    Come here often.  We get it and are here for you. 

  • kimber3006
    kimber3006 Member Posts: 586
    edited August 2010

    Hi Kathleen.  Great advice here already, but wanted to welcome you, despite knowing how much you'd like to not need to be here.  I often wish I had done chemo first, just to have had the comfort of "seeing" the chemo work it's magic.  However, I was in such shock and so incredibly terrified that I couldn't think of anything but "get this thing out of me!".  Those were actually my first words to my BS when I met him.  I finished chemo in April and radiation a couple months ago.  I'm still getting Herceptin, that absolutely wonderful drug for us HER2+ girls you've been hearing so much about, but I'm having practically no side effects from it.  So life is really getting back to "normal".  It probably sounds crazy coming from someone who isn't even a year out yet, but it happens and you will get there, too.  Take a deep breath, let people help you, and come here whenever you need to talk to someone who understands.  I don't know what I would have done without this group!

  • Lowrider54
    Lowrider54 Member Posts: 2,721
    edited August 2010

    KWolf...where you are right now - I don't think any of us were 'brave'.  I wasn't, I cried all the time - you are lucky to have found this place...it will give you support, hugs, allow vents, encouragement  - and it is true - we 'get it' and you will soon understand how much that means. 

    I am over at stage iv - no matter the stage, the fear and horror of those first words feel exactly the same.  As you get a plan in place, many of those fears will calm down and these stage III gals will be there for you all the way! 

    I will pray for you and hope that whatever the plan, it kicks some major cancer a$$ and that we never get to meet on the stage iv SS Mets cruise line!

    Hugs and all good wishes

    LowRider

  • lkc
    lkc Member Posts: 1,203
    edited August 2010

    Kathleen.

     i too am sorry you're joining us. Bu the upside is there are so many of us" out there" doing GREAT long time.

    I am out over 5 yrs of a stage IIIC BCwith 12 pos nodes ; er pr neg and her 2 pos. too.

    It's alot to wrap your head aroundnow I know , but you'll be ok/

    Keep in mind the staging is simply a guide for tx, stage III meand agressive tx which is actually a good thing in the long run.

    Once on a tx plan you'll feel more in control, and you;ll feel better

    The first drugs are cytotoxic  which may be used to shrink down the tumor size; radiation kills the nasty " leftovers' and herceptin is the Gift of Life ( practically no side effects)

    If you're not sleeping or really freaked , get something for anxiety, which will help tremendously.

    come here often for support and good infomration. We all get it.

  • chrishat
    chrishat Member Posts: 89
    edited August 2010

    dear kathleen,

    when i was first diagnosed, in dec., it felt like the world tilted. i was terrified, not brave at all......cried every day, was totally freaked out, my mind spinning all kids of awful scenarios and also feeling overwhelmed about all the treatment ahead of me. and it was christmas, and i have three children, and santa needs to come whether mom has cancer or not, you know? i got through the first few weeks by taking valium.....first time i had ever taken it and it was really helpful...essential, really....to keep the terror down so i could function. i would take valium and my friends would drive me around christmas shopping, between trips to the hospital for scans and tests and all of it. it was like the twilight zone.

    now it's august and i just finished radiation. i no longer cry every day.  i'm getting my life back. you WILL get through it, you WILL feel stronger, it is all huge and sometimes feels overwhelming, but it is all doable. i can honestly say that as hard as treatment was, off and on, the fear of it, the anticipation, was the worst....once you start actively fighting this cancer you will feel better, more in control.  try to take one day at a time and i do highly recommend valium or xanax or something. there is a time and a place, and this is it.

    take care and hang in there. try to let yourself absorb any and all help and support that comes your way. we're here for you.

    christine

  • Annaanne
    Annaanne Member Posts: 190
    edited August 2010
    Hi Kathleen:
    I'm another stage 3er, also her+ and er/pr -.  I'm also five years from diagnosis and totally healthy. And I also had chemo before surgery.  By the way -- the "her2 support" website (a different site from this one) is also helpful for Her positive women.  
    What you're going through is so scary and shocking, but you'll get through it, just like we all did.  As others have written, post your questions and concerns here.   You'll get lots of support by women who've been there.
    Take care
    Annaanne 

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