stupid things people say...

Ha, love it!  That actually made me laugh, so thanks.

We just moved so we don't really know anyone here....I think I'm glad!  The only thing I hate is when I hear "you don't really have cancer".  Um, really?  How about you go for the mast for me then, OK?

I have to add my two cents about the pre-cancer comment. I just had my regular 6 month check-up with my oncologist today. Usually she is quite good, listens to all my concerns, etc. but today her medical student came in to talk to me first-- after telling me "Well, you look good" 3x-- to which I said, "I looked good when I was diagnosed, too, but I still had cancer" -- he says, "well, you had pre-cancer" to which I replied, "Please do not call it that-- it was pre-invasive cancer but still cancer-- that's why I had a double mastectomy."  Then he told me I looked good again!  So when I apologized  for chewing him out, the oncologist says, "well, we are thinking of re-classifying DCIS because we seem to be overtreating it"-- So, I asked, at what point are we supposed to take action since you can't tell when it becomes invasive or not-- and will you only take me seriously when I get a recurrence that's invasive?"-- "Well, that won't happen to you"--  While I pray she is right, I always point point out that someone falls into that 2%, so don't tell me I was over-treated because I have to live in this body now and I didn't have a choice about the mastectomy, according to my BS and pathology report.

Anyway, that's my rant-- when the doctors say stupid things it makes it much worse. Everyone else I can just write off as insensitive or stupid-- but clearly doctors can be both.-- JAT

I just had my 3 month visit and was told that I was "cured" and that the onc came back from convention where they apparently discussed the DCIS, hormonal pos., node neg. having a very good outcome etc. etc.  Even with being told that, Its the treatment that lingers over you. I am post bmx, and feeling the SE from the arimidex and its feels like everyone can move beyond this except for me who is still recuperating from the surg and dealing with SE for the next five years.  So whether its precancer or cancer thats cured, its the treatments that  make it real everyday.  My other rant is that at that visit was told that my DCIS doesn't have the mechanism to mets, and its like 2-3 mutations away from doing that, then what is that suppose to mean. It was already multi focal, so doesn't that tell you its on the move. So what you don't treat it, that it will never spread or do you wait for something to trigger the mutations.  My non cancer side did show in final path hyperplasia atypia and I look at that as something that would convert to something later and even though I was proactive, I still consider that being cancerious as well or I wouldn't be removing a breast for nothing.  

About the original post of the lady's comment in Wendy's, must be the same ignorant nonsense that feels that God gave HIV to people.

OMG LAURA, I CRACKED UP WHEN I READ YOUR POST. THOUGH NOT FUNNY-MAYBE ONLY TO THOSE OF US WHO ARE STUCK WITH THIS GOWDAWFUL DISEASE AND ARE A BIT TWISTED TO BOOT. i got news today too-like both the girls likely have to go if i want a long life and/or (PERHAPS) you will probably die of something else before the cancer gets you. This is from my new onc-i have run thru a few of them. what i am hearing from old friends "you'll make the right decision.' WTF-if I could do that I would need a gazillion specialists who try to treat BC. my head is still spinng from the stats thrown at me and then there was something about "do I want a good running mercedes or a ferrari?" from my onc-huh? I want the f-ing ferrari!! is anyone confused about this. but apparently that is the wrong choice-i need to change parts and stick with the mercedes-sort of what i got out of a three hour onc visit. WTF? I don't drink, I don't smoke, i don't do drugs (anymore-like in 21 years) what is left? ((HUGS TO ALL)) SV

Someone I know was just diagnosed with colon cancer.  She told a friend that she wished she would've got breast cancer instead because at least she would've got great boobs! 

I didn't find it too funny.  I went through a lot of tests, operations, procedures, and a lot of pain.  Yes they look pretty good with clothes on, but I would take my old droopy originals any day!

I had a good friend tell me that she couldn't wait to get to heaven!  How exciting it was going to be. 

Hmm...wait till a Dr tells you that you have stage IV cancer and THEN say how exciting it will be!

I dropped a friend of 35 years when she told me that my doctors were all wrong and that DCIS would metasticise to my brain and colon and lungs.  When I told her how highly recommended my medical, and radiation oncologists and my breast surgeon are and that I am seeing each one every six months for 10 years she assured me that even good doctors mistreat and misdiagnose patients.  Thanks!  So I'm supposed to drive myself nuts with worrying and that will prevent reoccurance. I think not.

Actually I told her that since I have sex 5 to 7 times a week that it prevents reoccurance per my physicians. .  Since I am 67 and my husband is 73 this is LOL.   You should have seen her jaw drop!  At least I had the last word before I dropped her.  But I am still seething from her insensativity.

flyingdutchess- you are my new idol!  That is awesome!

I wonder if I could use a variation of that line to pick up guys....

Hasn't anyone ever taken an etiquette class??  That's what I want to say to people who say dumb things.  

I used to work with someone (a physician), a long time ago, and in looking at recent pictures, she has apparently "grown" a couple of sizes in the chest, and I suspect she has had a breast augmentation for cosmetic reasons.  When she found out I had had a mastectomy, she said, "well, at least you can get that 'new pair' you've always wanted."  Funny thing is I never said I wanted a 'new pair" to begin with!   

All of these posts confirms for me my decision to only tell a few close friends.  No one at work knows and not even some of my family.  I told my sisters who may be at risk, everyone else is not a close enough relative to make any difference. My mother was an only child, so not too much family around at all.  

The reason I chose not to tell many people is that I did not want anyone's pity and I did not want to hear the endless stories my SIL tells me she gets about every Tom/Dick/Harry/mother/father/sister/brother/aunt/uncle/neighbor/etc.etc.etc of "anyone" she might run into.  I could never hear it all again and again and again.  

I have come here instead and have found a wonderful group of women to share with.  

Thank you all