Single, no kids, - how do you cope?

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  • tibet
    tibet Member Posts: 545
    edited March 2010

    LL12

    Where do you live? Being single is ok and you should keep away from people who are not nice to you.

    You can make friends with people who are also single, maybe you can feel you are not alone.

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  • Magister105
    Magister105 Member Posts: 73
    edited March 2010

    Ladies:

    I've been reading these posts and they are a great help! It's hard being single and dealing with all the things that come with it. Bills, managing a house, a car, pets dependent on you -- all the while dealing with cancer and chemo. I don't so much feel alone as just overwhelmed. My chemo is not going well. I had a reaction to the second chemo drug 20 minutes into it. Chest pains, rash on face; couldn't draw a full breath. They stopped it and switched to saline to weaken its effect. Then another IV steroid (my third). Then we decided this is not right drug for me. We will be trying a different one next time. Sigh. Side note: They realized that every time they give me a steroid, by blood sugar goes up. I left with a blood sugar reading of 444 (90 - 120 is considered normal). Not a good day. It just seems that every step forward leads to another one backwards. And I'm trying to work full-time while feeling not great from the chemo. Sorry for being such a downer this morning!! I just needed to vent and let some of this out. Thanks for listening.

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  • LL12
    LL12 Member Posts: 21
    edited March 2010

    Hi Newalex

    I live in Singapore. Sometimes, I will tell myself to ignore those hurtful remarks from my co-workers.

    They always like to complain that they are very busy due to family commitment and will make fun of me by saying that they should follow me being single and later giggle among themselves. Two of my coworkers will always like to humiliaties me infront of everybody for my single status. Sometimes, I always cried myself what am I doing in the past, why I did not grab my happiness?

    I have financial difficulties and debts problem, I could not afford to stay alone and everyday I need to face my brothers - one of them is heavy smoker plus alcoholism and one of them is heavy alcoholism. They create many problems and always quarrel and I will encounter more problems if they get drunk.

    I will need to go for my doctor appointment to review my ultrasound report on or before end March. Last few days, while on my scan examination the radiologist mentioned that my left breast which i had past twice operation to remove fibroadenoma lumps now found a solid lump instead of previous scan result which mentioned was a cyst. I suffered from fibrocystic breast disease-with  total over 40 breast cysts on left and right breast including some complex cysts. I am worried that I need to go for an operation again.

    In the past,while I was hoplistalized three times-for operation on breast lumps and endometrium polyps, when I saw other patients having husband and kids to care and visit them, I admire those patients. I will keep on asking myself why I missed that guy, why am I so lonely,why am I in this status? When I get sick and get weak, I will even feel miserable for being alone. Sometimes, I do go out with some single friends to talk about our problem,,,,,,,.

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  • jsmiley60
    jsmiley60 Member Posts: 204
    edited March 2010

    Wow! Glad I found this thread.........I guess I feel grateful after reading the struggles that some of you have had/are having! I'm divorced, no kids, no husband or SO right now. DX 9/8/09 - chemo started in Oct and I have 5 treatments left. No income.........paying for Cobra. It has been really hard - no one knows what it is like to be here all alone and feeling bad from the fatigue, super low white blood count, fevers, aches, etc. You guys know!!! It is the hardest thing I've ever done.....not lonely, just alone. My mom is old and has health problems; I have a couple sisters that live nearby and they have helped some, but when it goes on for six months, I think people forget about me! Surprised 

    I am a christian and people from church have helped a lot, especially in the beginning. That has been a great thing! But now that I am getting out some (I'm a full time student), I think people don't think I need help. I have updated my site to say I still need help and sent emails. It is really hard to call people and say I need HELP!! Especially when you have to do it over and over again. UGH!!! I hate not being able to take care of myself and go to the store when I need something! But I am getting weaker with each one of these treatments (Taxol) and the weekends are the worst.

    One single friend has been sick so she has been GREAT, always asking what she can do, bringing me stuff, just coming over with a movie, etc. But the other single friends just don't really seem like they know what is going on with me......sigh......... My chemo is almost over and the doctor says my lymph nodes feel good and she can't feel the tumor any more! I will have surgery in May or June.

    I can't wait to be done with the chemo! It has been a very long, depressing, isolated winter for me here in Ohio. Thanks for listening to my ranting! Laughing

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  • konakat
    konakat Member Posts: 6,085
    edited March 2010

    It is so hard doing it on your own.  Financially it's hard -- no second income to fall back on.  Emotionally hard -- being alone.  Sitting here with my cat, watching a hockey game, well, that's my excitement...

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  • K2019
    K2019 Member Posts: 3
    edited August 2010

    LL12,

    I hope that you are well and that your medical issues are being resolved. I've had successful treatment for BC and endometriosis. It saddens me to hear that your co-workers try to build themselves up by tearing down others. They are either insecure or just bad people. Don't believe them. Don't blame yourself. If you are confident and strong, then they will be less inclined to tease you... and you will not care about their dumb comments. Take a martial arts course or learn a new skill. Get out there and meet new people. Go on a strict budget and pay off your debts. You will feel more powerful. I'm praying for you. I care about you. Take care of yourself and be strong.

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  • haibo_yu
    haibo_yu Member Posts: 3
    edited August 2010

    hi,my yonger sister is only 35 now,she is single.but got mucinous carcinoma of breast last year.i found it was said that this kind of cancer often been got by older woman,the more stanger thing is that my sister was diagnosed to have 2 cells in lymph.but this type of breast cancer rarely spreads to lymph nodes. my sister had been cured through both chemical method and radioative method.all our family are upset with her disease.can anyone kindly gives us any advices?thank you very much.

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