June 2010 Mastectomy

I just got back from my oncologist appointment and errands.  They don't recommend that I take the Tamoxifen.  Where I had both breasts removed there is nothing really left to treat and she said the cons out weigh the pro's at this point.  Getty- I did ask her if I had only had one breast removed would she have then recommended it and she said yes, absolutely.  I also asked about screening blood work etc and she said there is no need for that either.  Because the cancer was DCIS and completely contained, the nodes were not effected she said there should be no chance of it spreading.  Obviously all of this was great to hear.  To be honest I don't feel like I trust this whole cancer thing.  I guess it's because of watching my mother pass away from it, I don't know.  But it scares the crap out of me when I actually sit and think about it. 

Walking into the oncologist and seeing everyone getting treatment my heart just sank.  It brought me back to going with my mom to hang out with her when she got chemo.  My mom never felt sick from chemo and when we used to go it never bothered me.  It was fun to sit and hang out with her for a couple of hours and then we would go do something either before or after.  It was almost like girls day.  Hell, we did my seating arrangement for my wedding at chemo.  But today---ahh today---it was sad.  I was sad for the people in there and I was sad for my mother.  It made things so real for me, that I actually got cancer.  There are too many people living through this crap.   I hope that they all have someone who loves them and that they all have support to help them through.

Sorry ladies, at the moment I have a heavy heart.  And, I have to snap out of it and start cooking food for a party.  Tonight I will have a glass of wine and toast you all- thank you for listening to me and for being so supportive.

Congrats Jeanne !! That is no small accomplishment.  We are all proud of you .. AND.. we get free counseling too LOL.

No Tamox for me either.  However she wants me on Femara for life.  I have read the reports and side effects and not sure I will do this.  Laurie I so understand what you are saying. I feel so fortunate but something in the back of my mind won't stop worrying me.

Had my last fill today and while its not real painful, I am just miserable.  My exchange is set for October 7th.  The PS told me he can't make twins but will make sisters.  I thought...Humm.. I have seen lots of really opposite looking sisters LOL.  Anyway I am still apprehensive about that.  Anyone had that done already?

Hope everyone sleeps good tonight.. Hugs

Hi Ladies,

Four weeks out, just popping in to see how you are all doing and it sounds like getty had a good med report w/ a great vacation, and will think good thoughts for you Wednesday for your exhange surgery. Jeanne congrats on your wonderful results, Laurie, Misty & Renee - stop lifting anything over 5-10 lbs. please! Ducki & Marm, patience and good luck with your continued treatments, Speech, hope you get to deep relaxation at the yoga retreat - wish I could join you. Hi Joystars & Robin... Am still resting a lot, wishing I could do more, off drugs, walking a bit each day, hurt like heck when I tried to ift something heavy, move a bookcase, OUCH!! -so learned my lesson. My TEs are half size so not up on my chest, but after one fill so far of 50cc each they are about the size I was before surgery, (170cc each) but w/ projection. Doc set exchange date for Dec. 7,and will get at least one more fill, next one is Wednesday. PT going well, great range of movement, yet so tired of sleeping on back,  surrounded by pillows, so uncomfortable, tight back, neck muscles, I guess a small price to pay for replacement breasts; Barbie breasts are okay for now, look fine in clothing, yet so uncomfortabel and painful at times. We must hang in there, eh?

Love, Melissa

Hello everyone! Hope you all had a very nice weekend. I'm glad to see everyone is coming back to post, is just great to read you all.
Getty, so nice to hear from you again and to know you had a good time on your holidays.. so well deserved! I'm also considering (if anything) the Tamoxifen thing... but seems like there's not really much of an option for me. After the FEC chemo treatment, a  5 years (perhaps just 2) of tamoxifen seems like the "best option for me". Will like to continue doing some research about the side effects, I'm so scared about that and not having my periods back....
Jeanne, that's greaaaaat congrats woman! Way to go!
Speech, Hmmm yoga! I wish I couldjoin something like that right now... so relaxing! With this belly of mine sounds a bit tough now, tho there's some yoga for moms out there not so sure to join while wearing a foob  (might move of position and end up looking funny) 
Melissa, hello back to you! Take it easy and rest as much as possible. I can relate about the pillows, in my case I'm sleeping in my own "pillow fortress" because of the belly. DH just laughs about our bed of pillows :P
Laurie, awww big hugs your way! And just like you and Getty I sometimes think "too much" about how much being diagnosed has changed my life. I'm glad I have my husband with me, but sad that my mom and dad are so far away. Hope you had a good time at your party. I hosted a hens party yesterday evening  for a friend of mine and was REALLY REALLY NICE to forget for a while all this BC crap. Tho every now and then I was checking on my foob...

About me and baby, we had an appointment last week with the obstetrician and went quite well everything seems very fine with baby's development. On the previous appointment with oncologist, he was open to discuss the due date fo baby around week 32~ish. While the obstetrician voted for a week 34. She will try and get more info about the chemo treatment and if onco is fine to wait. Oh well will see how this "battle" ends up. I'm hoping for the best for both of us, baby and me.

Also last week went to a genetic test appointment, where basically we learnt nothing new as my blood samples taken about two months ago for Decaplex were a bit out of sense (I'm not Norwegian! So no way to find anything outstanding form such test) What it made sense tho was to have the chat with the genetics especialist who explained us the reason of why they think my BC "could" be genetic. So there I gave more blood samples and now it's all about waiting, about a year from now will get an answer to know if  I'm BRCA 1 or 2 positive....

Tomorrow is a big day! We have an ultrasound and appointment with midwife to find out baby's gender! Wooohoo! Exciting indeed

joystars - congrats on finding out you have a baby girl!  That's awesome!  I am inspired by your strength.  You are going through a terrible time, and yet there is this beautiful gift growing inside you, it's really a miracle. 

Jeanne - that's huge news, how wonderful for you, you are amazing!  I like the comment about free counselling

Laurie - I hope the burning thing goes away as you heal.  60 people!!!!!  Are you crazy!  It should be lots of fun though. 

Well ladies, I went back to work today full-time.  I am a health care analyst so it's pretty laid back and it's a desk job so I don't do anything strenuous.  I was off for a full 8 weeks but it just flew by.  I have a fill on Thursday and then on Friday I get my BRCA test results in the afternoon.  So nervous about those.  The geneticist thought that it's likely I am positive since I had just turned 33 at diagnosis.  I have no clue what I'll do if I'm positive, the ovarian cancer terrifies me and I can't get them out because I'm er+ so I can't take any hormones.  The docs all agree it's a bad idea to remove them at 34.  Cross your fingers for me for Friday ladies, I need all the luck I can get. 

Joy- so happy for you, congratulations!!!  Stay focused on your beautiful miracle and your wonderful husband.  You have such happy times ahead of you.

Jilly- Good luck, I will be sending my positive vibes your way as well.  If it gives you hope, we all expected me to have the gene too where I was diagnosed at 34-and I don't.  So my fingers are crossed.  Keep us posted.  I hope your work week goes well too!

Getty- Good luck with your surgery Wednesday!  I know it will go great and you will do beautifully.  I hope you don't get nervous.  I'll send my prayers and love your way.

Melissa- So good to see your post, don't move book cases!  I hope you continue to heal well and relax when you can.  Sometimes it is easier said than done.  

Yes, I was nuts to have that many people but it all went really well and we had a great time.  The food all got eaten and the cab company must have made a fortune off us, no one could drive home from our place!  It was a very drunken evening filled with funny stories and lots of laughter.  I went to bed at 2 am- the last one awake in my house with about 6 people camped out on air mattresses couches etc.  I didn't realize how drunk I was until I laid down!  It was all good though.  Woke up and made a huge breakfast for everyone, had some juice and a shower and felt all better:) We had a lazy day yesterday lounging around with the kids and happy it was raining and we didn't have to do anything.

almagetty What type of implants are you using?  The closer I come to my exchange and the more I read, the more nervous I get    I was a bit upset to read that they only last about 3 years, and all the other issues involved.   I see no end to any of this anymore.

JOY !!!  What wonderful news.  I was up in the wee hours and read that today was the day you would find out.  I went back to bed thinking about your baby and honestly felt it was a boy...lol  I am so happy for you THREE !!. 

Ducki: My PS said that my implant should last at the very least 10 years, but he expects for it to last for 20-25 years. I've never heard of them lasting only 3 years. I've decided to go with a silicone implant. It is cohesive gel, the ones they call gummi's. The PS said that it's not the fully cohesive gel that is in use in Europe. I'll get all the specs tomorrow when I go for my pre-op.  He's also going to do a little bit of lipo to get rid of my "dog ear". He said that I can expect to wake up with a nasty bruise from the lipo.

Laurie: So glad to hear your party was a success! Taxi's and air mattresses mean that everyone had a blast! I appreciate the prayers and the love! 

Getty 

Getty- I didn't know you could get gummies in the US?  I am going to ask Thursday when I go for my fill what he plans on using for my implants as well.  Even if I don't exchange for awhile I am curious.  Also, Ducki, my PS said my implants would be good for 10-15 years as well.  Just an FYI.

Laurie: I'll get the full spec's tomorrow. I know that there are some surgeons in the US that are using the European type gummies on a trial basis. The PS called mine a gummy without any prompting from me, but he did qualify it with saying that they weren't the European ones. If I remember correctly, he said the difference was that the gummies approved for use in the US have some liquid silicone in them in addition to the cohesive gel, while the European ones are purely cohesive gel. He gave me one to play with while I sat there. lol. My TE is made by Natrelle, and I think the implant is also by them.

Ducki: Yes. The dog ear is the silly looking fat pouch that has formed on the underarm side of the TE. I'll post whatever information I get from him tomorrow.

Joystars  Congratulations--a girl!  I love the name you and your DH chose--Vida is perfect!  She will be the joy of your life. 

It's good to see so many people back on the boards.  Glad you had a great party, Laurie.  That's a major event with 60 people!  It's wonderful to have so many good friends.

My comment on implants:  I have Natrelle cohesive gel implants by Allergan.  My PS said that gummies were not approved by the FDA yet but she is hoping for it soon.  Perhaps your doctor has some sort of special approval to use them?  My implants feel and look very natural. It's been two months since my one step and my left breast looks awesome (its my natural breast) and my right "foob" is coming along, too.  It is less stiff now and beginning to move a little bit like the other one.  It feels natural.  My scars are fading...the mx scar looks lighter than the implant scar!

The yoga retreat was wonderful--it is technically "Holy Yoga" which is true yoga but with a Christian focus.  I highly recommend yoga to you when your dr okays you to resume normal activity.  I was able to really stretch for the first time--I could not believe how tight my chest and shoulders were.  I participated in at least two yoga classes each day and even went on a 2 hour hike!  We swam and ate the most wonderful food!  Now that I am home, I am committed to going to Holy Yoga three times a week (just went tonight and it was invigorating).  Classes are free.  Holy Yoga has been around since 2005 and there are classes in many states and some parts of Canada.I feel so encouraged, that I am going to get back to my original strength!

Take care ladies!

speech529 Thank you so much for your info. I am feeling a bit more encouraged.  I should have asked about this before. I am assuming the incision was under the breast for these implants?  Did they have to readjust your nipple on the real side?  My PS says he will make my real one a little higher to allow for natural sagging.  Did yours do that? 

almagetty I have gotten to that point too.  I guess I am resigned and tired.  I just trust my PS in his decisions.  I am so looking forward to hearing all about your exchange.

Robin: I'm sure you're relieved that your surgery date is almost here, finally! I'll be thinking of you next week and saying some prayers for a successful surgery and an easy recovery.

I just got back from the PS. I did come up with a whole list of questions, which were all duly answered. He will be using Mentor cohesive gel, moderate profile plus. He will have 3 sizes with him in surgery (450, 475 & 500cc) and will decide which one is the best match during the surgery. All silicone implants in use today are cohesive gel, which are slightly gummy in consistency if you cut them open. They are not the gummies that are used in Europe.

All systems are go for tomorrow ...