You know you're a cancer patient when....

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  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited August 2010

    ....you take Senoket laxative AND a stool softener EVERY night with all your other meds....

    (I have to take them because of the narcotics I take. I remember when my Dad was dying of lung cancer. He used to say he wouldn't die of cancer, he'd die of constipation!)

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  • Summer38
    Summer38 Member Posts: 253
    edited August 2010

    when at 5'8" with long legs and naturally "peppy", you'd always be at the front of the group and now you're ALWAYS in the back yelling "hey, wait up!"

    I know I didn't shrink......

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  • blossom
    blossom Member Posts: 25
    edited August 2010

    when u moult more than ur persian cat,n then acctually feel jealous of it coz its got more hair than u!!! x

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  • KittyDog
    KittyDog Member Posts: 1,079
    edited August 2010

    when you have to ask your seven year old to open the charger slot on your cell phone and camera because you don't have any fingernails. 

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  • momofcuig
    momofcuig Member Posts: 85
    edited August 2010

    This is hysterical and so therapeutic...

    You know your a cancer patient when you leave the house wearing a wig, carrying a VAC machine (used for a non healing reconstruction site), have a portacath hanging out the top of your shirt and only one nipple showing in the t shirt.

    When my husband shaved my head for me on our 16th wedding anniversary.

    When my 4 year old son asked...how are you feeling today Mom? Your face looks white.

    Or when my 10 year old said...please, please Mom don't let my friends see you without your wig

    Or when my baby cried hysterically when I wore the wig.

    When people start dropping off meals, running errands for me, taking my kids so I can get a break, cleaning my house....all because they know how hard this breast cancer thing really is!

    Best of all ...... you know your a cancer patient when you become very close to complete strangers on this message board and can't imagine going through breast cancer without them!!!!! 

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  • Lowrider54
    Lowrider54 Member Posts: 2,721
    edited August 2010

    when you buy a pastie for your prostetic during Bike Week in Sturgis - there is a law against flashing nipples - so when you whip it out to 'flash', you are legal.

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  • DesignerMom
    DesignerMom Member Posts: 1,464
    edited August 2010
    lowrider- You did NOT do that!  Do you know grneyed?  She was at Sturgis too!  At the Coyote Ugly bar!
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  • kittycat
    kittycat Member Posts: 2,144
    edited August 2010

    This thread really makes me laugh!!!



    Desinger mom - I'm going to have to try the Fuji apples. Nothing seems to work. Yuck!



    You know you're a cancer patient when your dog barks at you the first time he sees you in a wig! LOL!

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  • dlb823
    dlb823 Member Posts: 9,430
    edited August 2010

    When you open a b'day card, as I just did, from an old friend from high school, and she includes a heartwarming note about about things she remembers from those days, and that she's donated to Susan Komen in your honor...  

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  • mcbird
    mcbird Member Posts: 381
    edited August 2010

    Happy Birthday dlb823.  Darla

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  • mumito
    mumito Member Posts: 4,562
    edited August 2010
    Happy Birthday dib.   This has become my favorite thread.Laughing
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  • lauri
    lauri Member Posts: 267
    edited August 2010

    ...when your first Neulasta shot is due exactly 24 hours after chemo and you're driving to a vacation so you pull over into a shopping mall parking lot and give yourself an injection in the stomach, hoping that the police don't come by and think you're shooting up something illegal.

    ... and when you're on that vacation taking your temperature three or four times a day because there are all those people around carrying germs.  And you have the addresses and phone numbers of all the emergency rooms near where you are vacationing ... just in case.

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  • Monty
    Monty Member Posts: 197
    edited August 2010

    When you are driving home after a herceptin treatment and you're scared the cops will pull you over and take one look at your arm and pull you in as a drug addict cos it took a nurse 6 attempts to get the needle in for your infusion, then the following day the same thing happens when you go for the heart scan.  12 needles in 24 hours, not good - and people wonder now why your veins are so crappy!!!

    Gaynor

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  • gillyone
    gillyone Member Posts: 1,727
    edited August 2010

    when you allow people to feel up your radiated boob to compare it to a "regular" boob.

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  • Lowrider54
    Lowrider54 Member Posts: 2,721
    edited August 2010

    Designermom...I most certainly did - for my 50th birthday that I spent in Sturgis - it wasn't like I was 'really' flashing...just a handful of something with a pastie on it...LOL

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  • DesignerMom
    DesignerMom Member Posts: 1,464
    edited August 2010

    lowrider-You rock!  We could get into some trouble together!

    dlb- Happy birthday and many, many happy, healthy returns of the day!

    You know you are a cancer patient when your oldest friend comes to visit and brings you HER favorite "regularity" supplements as a gift.  Have I been talking about constipation that much??  Of course I was THRILLED.  Boy I have become a cheap date!

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  • jenn3
    jenn3 Member Posts: 3,316
    edited August 2010

    when you're at a family event and all of the "older" people are talking about their various ailments and you can relate to all of them..........constipation, loosy goosies, back aches, body aches, neuropathy, problems eating certain foods and the the enormous amount of mediation we take.......

    you're cleaning your specially made bras that hold your foobs and realize that you can't wear your boobs that day because the bras are all hanging to dry............

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  • sunnytn1949
    sunnytn1949 Member Posts: 28
    edited August 2010

    you wear a surgical mask to wal mart to keep from getting germs!Cool

    Jenn3,

    that has happened to me.LOL!

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  • Scooter-12
    Scooter-12 Member Posts: 33,398
    edited August 2010

    When you're in pre-op getting ready to have your gallbladder removed and the nurses are commenting on how "calm" and "strong" you are...your reply, at least this won't kill me..

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  • dlb823
    dlb823 Member Posts: 9,430
    edited August 2010

    When women on your favorite website go by screen names like TXBadBoob, Fightinghard123, Member_of_the_Club, OneBadBoob, toughestfighter, tooyoungtohavebc, somanywomen, living4today, Boobsinabox, FightnF8, and YearoftheHat...

    (and thanx for the b'day wishes -- it's actually Monday)

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  • sunnytn1949
    sunnytn1949 Member Posts: 28
    edited August 2010

    you have a fat lip from hitting yourself in the month while putting on your lymp sleeve....I just read that on another threat and it struck me funny...been there, done that!

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  • 2lkh538
    2lkh538 Member Posts: 48
    edited August 2010

    you put on an old favorite blouse  to wear to work and realize why you don't wear it anymore... it is too low cut even though it was modest pre sx ... and start crying and crying and can't stop... total melt down this morning:(

    However, you can tell you are a cancer pt when you do this and your hubby doesn't look at you like you have grown another head... he actually understands...

    There is a positive to everything I guess

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  • 2lkh538
    2lkh538 Member Posts: 48
    edited August 2010

    oh... and when you actually miss your no-hair days in the 95+ degree weather:)

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  • navygirl
    navygirl Member Posts: 886
    edited August 2010

    you know you're a cancer patient when you have to "edit" virtually every single post for some type of typo or word error! I actually think one word, and type another, without ever realizing it until I post and re-read...(not this time though!)

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  • violet7
    violet7 Member Posts: 180
    edited August 2010

    You know you are a cancer patient when you, your best friend, and your respective children go to iHop for dinner, and your friend mentions that her bra strap keeps popping out.  You, not to be out done, demonstrate how your plush insert boobs can be yanked all the way down to your waist, then hiked back up to your neck - very sexy.  Your friend quips, "How to have a fun outing with a cancer survivor."  And you - amid peals of laughter - announce that you are playing with your boobs in a restaurant.  Good times.

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  • flopsy
    flopsy Member Posts: 365
    edited August 2010

    You know you're a cancer patient when you now are more bald than your DH who has been bald since I met him.  He always said that I better not complain about my hair because I was lucky to have it.  Well, he was right.   He still says luckily that mine should grow back-His never will!!!

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  • jenn3
    jenn3 Member Posts: 3,316
    edited August 2010

    Still laughing and enjoying this post.............we sure do go through hell and have somehow managed to laugh about it. 

    you know you're a cancer patient when you run into someone you haven't seen in years and they hug you and whisper............"so how are you - REALLY".

    you look completely different than your license.......the picture in your license shows straight thick hair, shoulder length, brown with red highlights (naturally), now you have shorter thick hair with tight curls and light brown mixed with - ugh - gray.

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  • dutchgirl6
    dutchgirl6 Member Posts: 673
    edited August 2010

    You know you're a cancer patient when you really appreciate the value of nose hair, drip drip.

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  • badger
    badger Member Posts: 34,614
    edited August 2010

    ...when you cherish the "Poupon U" t-shirt you wore to every chemo tx 'cuz it meant poop on you cancer!

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  • gillyone
    gillyone Member Posts: 1,727
    edited August 2010

    I would love one of those t-shirts.

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