HELP ME PLEASE... I AM BEGGING FOR HELP...

Hi,

I am sorry you are under the weather today. Hugs !!!!!!!!!!!! 

Ask for help !!  Remember you are never alone. Nurses, doctors, friends, relatives, clergy people are good people to ask for help. There might be community resources to help you with things you might not have the energy to take care of like shopping or other chores.

Maybe you can ask your doctor's nurse for suggestions. She or he might be able to suggest resources you can access to help you cope. Is there a support group available near you where you can talk to other people in the same boat.

Even if you don't have much energy try to take a short walk outside, listen to your favorite music, read a book you have been wanting to read for awhile, read magazines  or watch a good movie on T. V. Feel free to take a nap anytime you feel like it.

Whatever you do keep putting one foot in front of the other, even if you are doing it slowly to lack of energy. Hang in there. Take good care of yourself and treat yourself well. You deserve it !!

These are things I learned over the years.  I was diagnosed in January, 1999.

Vickie - I am so sorry you're having a tough time.  I'm sure you know this or I may have missed it in an earlier post, but the steroids really play havoc with your emotions.  They get you really wired before and right after chemo, then you have to come down and so many of us just crash down - tears, emotional outbreaks, sad day, etc..... Try to see if your emotions go with the flow of the steroids, if so talk to your onc about it. 

Also, remember you are the one going through treatment and if you have to skip an event or leave early it's okay - you need to take care of you.  One of the hardest things I had to learn to do was accept help and if I wasn't up to it, skip events, games, family gatherings.  Once I learned to do that and accept that some days are better than others the emotional side of this miserable disease was much easier to deal with.

Good luck and I hope things get better for you.

Vickie, this time sucks, I won't lie....I got thru it with a load of Craig Ferguson every night and some really bad jokes....I read Bridget Jones to make myself laugh.  I reminded myself that THIS IS TEMPORARY AND IS A TREATMENT TO HEAL ME.  Say as many times as you need.

It's not fun.  It is war.  And you are going to win.  the steroids do a huge number on emotions.  It's a little bit like being pregnant...I told myself I was going to give birth to the new me.  That helped.

You do need to look out for you, as others won't.   Ruth is right, do what you feel up to, but put you first, for once.  This is the time to do it.

You will be back.  You will be healed.  I'm putting you in my prayers right now.  And I did notice that chemo got a little easier as it went along and my body learned what to expect.  In my case, severe heartburn, never nausea, helped perfectly by prilosec the week ahead of chemo and 3 days after it.  I did get mighty fat, from the steroids and I would get wired the night after from them and stay up all night.  Usually came on here to chat.  Then I'd crash, sleep til noon the day after, be v tired for 24 hours, and after that, I would pretty much bounce back.  It seemed like I had a violent reaction to the first one, not so much after that. (Yes, the weight came off when the steroid left my body, took a month or two).  I got all my hair back, in fact double the amount I swear. 

My reconstructed boob is beautiful, still a barbie boob but all in good time.  Put you first, honey.

xoxo

annie (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((big but gentle hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Vickey, hold on girl.  It is a tough ride...one of the hardest you will ever do.  Take it one day/treatment at a time.  Some are hard, some are easy.  I would break it down into 1/6 then 2/3 then 1/2 way.  then more than half way you get the point..I know it is hard, but before you know it. it will be done.  We are all thinking and with you emotionally every treatment, just like someone else said.

Vickey, no, no, no....any of these things are slim to none chance.  I have not talked to anyone who had any of these things.  Most women sail through chemo with only a few of the SEs.  The benefits do out way the SEs.  Try not to think that all the bad things will happen to you.  I had only a few SEs and made it through quite easily.  Hang in there girl.  Perhaps talk to your Dr. or nurse and see about finding a support group in your area.  Perhaps talking one on one with others will help.  I two  books when i was first diagnosed and about to go through chemo.  They were called "Cancer is a word, not a Sentence" by Dr. Robert Buckman, as well as "The Chemotherapy Survival Guide", by Judith Mckay and Tamera Schacher..  They really helped.  Good luck

Shelley is right the nurses are super and they have seen it all.  

Vickey-    I did the same chemo as you.  I never lost a nail and yes my hair grew back.  You may get some horizontal lines on your nails or they may feel sensitive, just be gentle with them.  I kept mine painted the whole time, that way I couldn't obsess over them.  My hair is about an inch long and I bleached it!  My PS's nurse says I look like a rocker girl!  I agree with Ruthbru, there were times I couldn't read a thing about cancer or treatments or side effects.  Just keep your eye on the finish line, you will get there.

Vicky - It gets better.........please don't feel like something is wrong because some women did better on Taxol than you did.  Taxol pain is terrible.  While it is different than AC, it can also be worse for some.  I felt better on so many levels with Taxol, but at the same time suffered with so much pain - I couldn't stand to be touched, I had bone pain, muscle pain, nerve pain........It was awful.  But.......I got through it and you will to.  Like one of the post said earlier instead of saying I have 2 more to go.........think or say I have just finished two.  Reversing the train of thought does help.

((((HUGS)))))

 Here's a great quote for us all:

"Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway". John Wayne

Vickey, I found that drinking lots of water through chemo helped.  I think it helps to flush the crap out...my onc said that there are drugs out there for every SE, you just have to ask.  No need to be in pain.  I had Taxotere and the first was killer and the second not far off, but my last was the easiest.  They all are a little different.  drink lots of water, get tons of fiber and take good care of yourself.  Talk to us, we will hold your hand and walk you through.  We are right beside you.  Good luck tomorrow.  After tomorrow you will be 1/3 done...if I am correct.

Hi Vicky - Your suffering is tugging at my heart.  I was not prepared for the pain I experienced but I learned my lesson well by telling my Onc I needed meds to counter any SE that popped up.  I took Xanax which was very helpful when I was so scared I didn't know where to turn, I take an anti-depressant too, I had several levels of pain meds if I needed (most I still have - it was just knowing they were there if I absolutely had to have some relief), I had 2 kinds of nausea meds (I feared that more than the pain but with these meds, I never did get sick), and I take Ambien at bed time - a good night's sleep will give you more strength both physically and emotionally to deal with all the yuk.  I more or less surrendered to the fact that I was trading a few weeks of a 'flu-like' illness for the rest of my life.  Drink lots of water - it flushes your body and makes you feel you are doing something good for yourself.  Force yourself to relax - deep breathing is really helpful for this - inhale through your nose to a slow count of 10, hold for a count of 10, slowly exhale through your mouth to a count of 10 - try it, you'll be amazed.  

Basically, I believe in doing whatever helps to get you through this time period.  Although time seems to just crawl, it will pass and soon it will be tomorrow, and then it will be the next tomorrow, and before you know it, you will look back and say 'Whew, glad that is over' and your life will slowly, but steadily, return to a more normal existence.  Life, however, won't be the same - it will be better.

Stay strong - talk to your Dr and get help for the SE.    

My first three chemos were FEC then I had taxatere for three.  I only had neupogen with the last three because of the cost.  My onc said she would try the first without and see how it went. I never got sick, not even once.  I was super good about germs and walked around with lysol wipes and hand sanatizers..I did have it for the last three, because my onc insisted.  I had a lot of bone pain.  I am convinced that it was the T plus the shots that did it.  My second treatment of T I also took cleraton as some women claim it helped with the bone pain...not sure if it did indeed help, but I was not in as much pain..hope you are doing well.