You know you're a cancer patient when....

....when you shave under your arm very carefully, cause you dont feel anything anyhow.

Mamita49, I was going to post the same thing, only I have the problem on both sides, plus I can't see without my glasses and they fog up in the shower so it's like playing russian roulett with a razor blade.

I'm using a mangifying mirror and standing in front of the sink before I get in the shower, that way at least I can see what I can't feel.  LOL

                                                       Darla

PS, I'm shaving while I'm standing in front of the sink, thought I should clarify that.  At least I think that's what I'm doing.  LOL

When your shower stays sparkling clean for weeks because it no longer gets filmy due to shampoo and conditioner.

When you can get ready for work in 0-60 seconds. (no hair washing, conditioning, styling, no shaving arms, legs, bikini area, no nose hair or eyebrow trimming, no mustashe removal, no mascara) Where did I find the time for all that maintenance before? LOL  

YKYACPW...........

...................you scuttle into your bedroom for a B & B (Bra & Boob) every time the front door bell rings.  

..................after someone else has answered the door and unexpected visitors are shown in, you always appear from your bedroom discretely brushing your hair/clothes down as if you have been sleeping---or not, (in your clothes) during the day. 

Sheila.

when you wake up in the morning and can't remember where you put your boob last night

when you crash your motorcycle and as banged up and hurt as your are, you tell the er doctor who is stitching up your face "I've had worse.........can you tell if my tissue expanders are ok in an xray?????"

lol about your niece.  I have done the same.

 When you look at the men in church and think.  ha ha I have more hair than you and no bald spots.

When a roomful of people are touching your breasts in front of your husband and you're not a swinger.

 AussieSheila-  Oh my heart reading "this ceiling might be the last thing I see".  Then I started thinking "but it's better than the bathroom floor, muck on the dining table..."  and I am laughing again!

Kittycat-  Oh unplug the TV, Whale Wars!  Of course I found myself watching an antelope chew a leaf on the Nature chanell for a full 5 minutes!

You know you are a cancer patient when you don't  have hair where you are supposed to and you do have hair where you are not supposed to!

When you have a bzillion natural non-aluminum deoderants and NONE work!

you lay down on the beach and your foob looks better and pirkier than your real boob.

when you go to Walgreen's to get a refill on a prescription and the tech asks you "Which one of these drugs do you need?" 

When you're so excited to pick up samples or laxatives from your onco's office (and hope they work)

When you're lying awake in bed because you're amped up from the steriod you picked up from Walgreen's & are thinking maybe it's a good thing you're awake in case the laxative works!  LOL!

When your DH is like your Junkie, giving you shots...never thought I would see the day my DH had to shoot me up

You know you are a cancer patient when you start thinking what you can do with your Boobs....like take off your bra and toss them to someone and ask...want to play with my boobs?  (I did that with my BIL...he said I was sick and I said, not any more....)

I also announced to my oncologist that I could take these Boobs and beat my husband to death and never leave a mark....and he says....yah, and no one would find the murder weapon because you are wearing it...and he ROLFL.

LMAO!!! Sunnytn.

On the subject of constipation... you know you're a cancer patient when you listen with great interest as a chemo nurse reveals her best constipation trick to another chemo patient -- "warm prune juice -- works every time."  You never try it, but months later that "interesting" conversation is still in your head.