decisions and questions about treatment
I have an appointment with the medical oncologist tomorrow. I want to be able to understand my cancer and my options, The surgeon that did my mastectomy has not explained anything to me very well. The surgeon wants to perform a total lymph node dissection and put a port for chemo in.
Please tell me what questions I should ask so that I can understand my options. I'm feeling like not doing anything else, and just getting back to living, and forget about the cancer. My body is getting worn out and I really don't feel like I need to be alive for more than another 10 or 20 years anyway.
I really appreciate any advice.
Comments
-
i too have an appointment tomorrow to see a medical oncologist for the first time.My dx is different then yours as mine has changed over the past year.the sistas have been very helpful on advice.someone will get on to help you.just wait and see.I love my bs dr#3.lol.bring a tape recorder,and or a friend or anyone.another set of ears are very important.make a list of questions,check other threads.you should get all the answers you need right on these threads.
just hang in there.help is on its way.and you must do your homework.take notes and dont be afraid to speak up.thats all i have to offer you except a huge huggggggggggg and a prayer.
God bless
K
-
thirtynine: I hope that is NOT your age and you only want another 10 - 20 years of life left! I am quite a bit older than you and I am being greedy. I want as many years as I can get! So much is happening all of a sudden in the cancer research field that maybe things can get easier for you younger gals if you just stick with it and do everything you can to survive. Especially if you have kids, this is no time to just look toward 10 years. Take ALL the years you can get!
-
thirtynineandnotsofine:
You need to talk with someone to help you with the emotional side of this. I know it's scary. I personally think I'm way too young to be going though this and the idea of only another 10 or 20 years seems ridiculous and I'm 49.
Think of it this way. at the most agressive its around 6 months of chemo and 1.5 months of radiation. That's not all that long in the scheme of things.
I'm headed to Cape Cod this week. The following week I have my BMX, then chemo and I'm sure radiation. I will be eating fried clams by Friday… and next year at this time my chemo & radiation will be done and I will be eating fried clams again.
There is always something in your future to look forward to. (Granted I do have things higher on my list than fried clams). Get someone to help you with this. Your oncologist should be able to recommend someone they use all the time… yes this feeling isn't uncommon.
-
Hi, I had a right mx in March. I'm sort of surprised that the surgeon didn't go ahead and start taking your lymph nodes once the sentinel was positive.So in that regard I think you are lucky. Surgeons want to cut, but I think you have every right to wait and talk to your oncologist tomorrow about your options, which may include just radiating the lymph nodes. From reading lots of threads on this website it is clear the the full axillary dissection is very painful and can lead to problems like lymphedema which will last for the rest of your life. You are right to question it, for sure.
That brings me to your last statement. Are you just 39? Seems waaay tooo young to be giving in! I'm 43 and have almost the same dx as you, a huge tumor, btw. There are so many treatments, i think it is just a matter of finding the right onc and the right plan to get your optimism back! None of us want to be on these boards, facing the unknown, we are all scared s$itless and wish we could go back to our pre-bc lives. I really think once your treatment plan is clear that you will have a stronger sense of control. But take that control and don't let docs push you around. Do some research so that you can have facts in hand when you go see your onc. the NIH and National Cancer Center websites are very informative. You also do have the right to refuse any treatment, but that doesn't fly with me. The cancer has been there for awhile before you found it, so another week to research isn't going to matter and will give you more peace of mind then to think you are rushing into things.
If you have port questions, ask away. I have one for my chemo and find I'm really glad I got it. My veins roll so the thought of getting the strong meds that are chemo through them is just unthinkable. There are other options besides a port, but I'll testify that it has made life much easier. Your onc can give you some literature about ports and what to expect, which are sort of scary at first. I can't imagine having my chemo without it.
I know it's all really overwhelming right now, and you are still healing from your Mx. Take your time and ask a lot of questions, maybe find a friend who has been through bc to go with you or to get an onc referral if you are not happy with the one you have. I'll try to find some good lymph node studies and send you a PM. Feel free to PM me as well.
Gigantic hugs,
shelley
-
Thank you all so much. This website is so wonderful. I have been in shock, denial, scared and confused, but now, knowing that there is so much love and support from you fellow breast cancer survivers, I believe I can learn so much and I will be able to handle this better. Thank you all.
-
Thirtynine - Hang in there sweetie. The first stages of dealing with a BC diagnosis are the hardest. Go see your onc, tell him/her how you feel, they'll be able to help!
Patty
Categories
- All Categories
- 679 Advocacy and Fund-Raising
- 289 Advocacy
- 68 I've Donated to Breastcancer.org in honor of....
- Test
- 322 Walks, Runs and Fundraising Events for Breastcancer.org
- 5.6K Community Connections
- 282 Middle Age 40-60(ish) Years Old With Breast Cancer
- 53 Australians and New Zealanders Affected by Breast Cancer
- 208 Black Women or Men With Breast Cancer
- 684 Canadians Affected by Breast Cancer
- 1.5K Caring for Someone with Breast cancer
- 455 Caring for Someone with Stage IV or Mets
- 260 High Risk of Recurrence or Second Breast Cancer
- 22 International, Non-English Speakers With Breast Cancer
- 16 Latinas/Hispanics With Breast Cancer
- 189 LGBTQA+ With Breast Cancer
- 152 May Their Memory Live On
- 85 Member Matchup & Virtual Support Meetups
- 375 Members by Location
- 291 Older Than 60 Years Old With Breast Cancer
- 177 Singles With Breast Cancer
- 869 Young With Breast Cancer
- 50.4K Connecting With Others Who Have a Similar Diagnosis
- 204 Breast Cancer with Another Diagnosis or Comorbidity
- 4K DCIS (Ductal Carcinoma In Situ)
- 79 DCIS plus HER2-positive Microinvasion
- 529 Genetic Testing
- 2.2K HER2+ (Positive) Breast Cancer
- 1.5K IBC (Inflammatory Breast Cancer)
- 3.4K IDC (Invasive Ductal Carcinoma)
- 1.5K ILC (Invasive Lobular Carcinoma)
- 999 Just Diagnosed With a Recurrence or Metastasis
- 652 LCIS (Lobular Carcinoma In Situ)
- 193 Less Common Types of Breast Cancer
- 252 Male Breast Cancer
- 86 Mixed Type Breast Cancer
- 3.1K Not Diagnosed With a Recurrence or Metastases but Concerned
- 189 Palliative Therapy/Hospice Care
- 488 Second or Third Breast Cancer
- 1.2K Stage I Breast Cancer
- 313 Stage II Breast Cancer
- 3.8K Stage III Breast Cancer
- 2.5K Triple-Negative Breast Cancer
- 13.1K Day-to-Day Matters
- 132 All things COVID-19 or coronavirus
- 87 BCO Free-Cycle: Give or Trade Items Related to Breast Cancer
- 5.9K Clinical Trials, Research News, Podcasts, and Study Results
- 86 Coping with Holidays, Special Days and Anniversaries
- 828 Employment, Insurance, and Other Financial Issues
- 101 Family and Family Planning Matters
- Family Issues for Those Who Have Breast Cancer
- 26 Furry friends
- 1.8K Humor and Games
- 1.6K Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts
- 706 Recipe Swap for Healthy Living
- 704 Recommend Your Resources
- 171 Sex & Relationship Matters
- 9 The Political Corner
- 874 Working on Your Fitness
- 4.5K Moving On & Finding Inspiration After Breast Cancer
- 394 Bonded by Breast Cancer
- 3.1K Life After Breast Cancer
- 806 Prayers and Spiritual Support
- 285 Who or What Inspires You?
- 28.7K Not Diagnosed But Concerned
- 1K Benign Breast Conditions
- 2.3K High Risk for Breast Cancer
- 18K Not Diagnosed But Worried
- 7.4K Waiting for Test Results
- 603 Site News and Announcements
- 560 Comments, Suggestions, Feature Requests
- 39 Mod Announcements, Breastcancer.org News, Blog Entries, Podcasts
- 4 Survey, Interview and Participant Requests: Need your Help!
- 61.9K Tests, Treatments & Side Effects
- 586 Alternative Medicine
- 255 Bone Health and Bone Loss
- 11.4K Breast Reconstruction
- 7.9K Chemotherapy - Before, During, and After
- 2.7K Complementary and Holistic Medicine and Treatment
- 775 Diagnosed and Waiting for Test Results
- 7.8K Hormonal Therapy - Before, During, and After
- 50 Immunotherapy - Before, During, and After
- 7.4K Just Diagnosed
- 1.4K Living Without Reconstruction After a Mastectomy
- 5.2K Lymphedema
- 3.6K Managing Side Effects of Breast Cancer and Its Treatment
- 591 Pain
- 3.9K Radiation Therapy - Before, During, and After
- 8.4K Surgery - Before, During, and After
- 109 Welcome to Breastcancer.org
- 98 Acknowledging and honoring our Community
- 11 Info & Resources for New Patients & Members From the Team