Starting chemo Sept 05

Hi all

Lots of postings, lots of sharing, a little whinging (venting), lots of laughter – the best medicine of all.

Can’t believe that I first went to GP on 29th June and here almost 4 months months later, minus my right boob and 21 lymph nodes (1 infected), have a Hickman line in my left side and am now a baldie. I started treatment (Epirubicin) on 13 September and have now had 2 lots of ‘treatment’ (hate the proper word). First lot I sailed through with minimal side effects, second hit me 2 days after ‘WAM’ 2 days on the settee and my ‘line’ arm is so painful at the moment. I am glad I am at the hospital tomorrow to have line flushed, I am hoping they will tell me what is causing me pain in my arm as I am living on paracetomal at the moment.

This is my whinging time newbies and it is so good to have a place to do this because we have to very often keep the smile on face-to-face with family members as we have to remember they are suffering as well as us and although they care for and love us, they can’t truly know what we are feeling.

So what I am trying to say newbies, say whatever you feel here on this board we are all here to hear and share what you are feeling. I am usually very positive and will be smiling again in a few days, it is just I have had a few bad days and whilst I think Breast Cancer Awareness month is brilliant, so early in my treatment I just feel my ‘condition’ is being highlighted all around me. Perhaps I am still in denial??

Anyway as already said, there are good things to learn from this. We live only once and if life needs to be changed, have the courage to do so. Love a lot, live a lot and learn a lot from the experience.

Bio: From the UK. Right Mastectomy 28 July. Invasive Ductal Carcinoma grade 3. Hormone Receptive positive (Is this all you require for Bio??).

Ok that’s me finished whinging – will try to post a happy, smiley posting later ladies.

Right off to bed to sleep on my back as both my right and left side are uncomfortable. Up until the last couple of days I had no problem sleeping on the ‘line’ side.

Sandra from the UK

Thanks so much for writing back. I'll let you know what we find out as we see the doc tomorrow. The Cardiologist seems concerned but not the onc. I'm about to say this is the last A I'm taking until I get a reasonable response about this heart pain. More soon,
g.

Sayings that I like to live my life by:
Live each day as if it was your last
All good things must come to end
Don't worry be happy
Only things certain in life are death and taxes
My new one is
I have got cancer but cancer hasn't got me

I am not pushing anything on anyone...but for those of you that might like it...this was sent to me by a friend...

Isaiah 41:10:

"Fear thou not; for I am with thee:
be not dismayed; for I am thy God:
I will strengthen thee;
yea, I will help thee;
yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness."
Sometimes...things need to be given to a higher power..

Tina

hi all

just a quick one from me to say hi!

I am 5 days post round 2 of chemo and FINALLY coming out the other end of feeling like crap. Will I ever get used to this tiredness??? It is just awful isn't it? My partner is away at the moment so I am staying with friends to help me look after my 4 month old and so I can rest. Thank goodness for good friends!

To those of you that have sent me a message lately- THANK YOU!! I replied today after finally figuring out how to work it all- did you get them??

Our website is finally up and running re: Herceptin. It is www.leannebradshaw.com if you would like to check it out. A friend did it over the past few days- pretty good I think.

Now the hair thing... Mine fell out by day 19! How is everyone managing to keep hold of it for so long?? I am just waiting on the eyebrowns and lashes now, not looking forward to looking even more like a "cancer patient". Do we ever get used to "looking sick"?

Also, in regards to WBC- what is this about fresh fruit and veg?? I am still so in the dark about everything sorry if I sound completely ignorant. I had my first ever nulasta shot on Thursday- would that be causing my back and hips to ache or something more sinister? Everytime I something hurts I am worried cancer is in my bones.

Sorry for rambling and asking so many questions, I am just honestly so relived to find somewhere to ask all my questions and post all my thoughts.

Love to you all
xoxo

Pass the Whine

My self-pity party is officially over! Thank you all for the private messages which helped me move beyond my slump. My cycle has included a fever for the past two rounds, but this time, the fever only lasted 20 minutes! YEA!!!!!

Last night my family took me out to dinner to celebrate my birthday [a few days early so our daughter could be with us.] My husband gave me some earrings which look lovely without hair. Afterwards, we had 'movie' night, watching "Terminal" which was the perfect light, yet sweet, movie.

It is hard to believe that I will turn 47 this week with no hair, chemo-brain, and an abbreviated breast. Yet, I find myself thankful for so very much. I _found_ this tumor before it had traveled, I have a wonderful family and supportive friends, heck, I had hair to lose!

Again, thanks for everyone's support!

*susan*

Susan
I'm glad to hear you are feeling better.
We need you here to keep the rest of us going when we are feeling low, you are so good at it!

Leanne
Thank you for sharing your website with us.
Herceptin has just been approved in the UK for early stage BC. Here's hoping Australia follows suit sooner rather than later. Good luck with the fundraising.

Have a good day ladies

Maxine

Hey I never noticed the smileys are bald too – funky.

I have read what some of you are going through in addition to why we are all on this board, and also what you have gone through – I hurt for you – how much more can life hurl. We have to look at all the happy times which very often outweigh the bad ones.

Maxine – I was even more down in the dumps today – I split the zip in a pair of trousers!!

What is a MUGA test – assuming it is something to test heart??

I gave my hair to my husband to put in his bird aviary – quite liked the idea of my hair being used for a nest to keep little chicks warm.

Aussie-mum – yeahh I have seen the movie – floods – I particularly like “I have (had) C but the C hasn’t got me” – that’s what we have to say and believe ladies.

Went for my line flush today and my arm still hurts badly – seems I may have a blood clot (grhhhh) – blood-thinning injection in stomach – back to hospital for 8.30 am in the morning for ultra-sound and to see onc specialist – out of the window goes my Tuesday social activities. They said they hope to sort the problem out and at worst the line will have to come out – I am so disappointed as I have had little problem with the line and can see the benefits of having it.

Speak soon ladies.

Sandra from the UK

Peggy,
Your last AC treatment!

You started this thread, and the first to finish I think? What a trailblazer you are.

Hope all goes well today. As you are thinking of all those people in your atlas, we'll be focussing right back at you.
How are you feeling inside about the last AC? Are you following up with __?

Keep strong! Celebrate even!

Sandra
So sorry you are feeling down in the dumps over your trousers. How many treatments are you having, and what are they? i'm sure you've already told me, but I cant remember...sorry.
I'm on FEC x 8 (which includes epirubicin).
I hope they manage to sort your hickman line out, a problem with that is the last thing you need. I have a
Groshong catheter which is very similar, no problems so far.

Peggy
Good to hear you are almost halfway through....YEAH
Is Taxol the end of treatment for you or will you be having rads as well?

Here in Guernsey we are very close to France, but we are british.
It takes about 40 minutes to fly to London from here which isn't too bad. We have out own government here and our own currency, which is worth the same as the english equivalent, english money can be used here as well.

Good luck to all the ladies having treatment this week.

Be strong

Maxine

Monique,
The only thing that worked for me was Phenegren suppositories. I know none of us likes them but they do work for the nausea and you don't have to worry about throwing them UP!

Good luck!
Tina

I had a rough treatment Monday, here is the whining. First I went to have blood taken out of my port. They can only try twice and nothing came out but fluid would go in. She described how the cath was resting against the vein so it was like sucking into the bottom of a cup with a straw. Next she tried several different body positions that didn't work. Then she had to go for one of the lousy veins in my arm. Luckily it worked for her.
Then I got my test results from my muga from the doctor. Found out that my heart function isn,t down at 84% like I thought he said at my first treatment, but ony at 54% like my lung function. I was too dismayed at this report to say, "What the heck? Do I have the life expectany of a old dog or what?" Then he smiled and and told me my latest test was great I was at 53% so my heart was not being damaged? So what is the low number when everyone else but me stops being so happy about it??? I complained about numerous other problems I thought he might worry about but he just looked at the blood test resutls, told me they were great and declared me healthy enough for round 3. Although I was glad to stay on schedule I felt like slapping him in the back of the head and off his stool. If I didn't love him and had a little decadron I might have hit him.
I was worried about the chemo nurse accessing the lousy port. On the first try she got nothing then she said lean forward and hug yourself. (If any of you have this problem this works)I bled like a stuck pig and we were both happy. The nurse also dripped my chemo extra slow to help eleviate future sinus problems. Chemo nurse gets a gold star!!!
I ate fries on the way home from chemo and they tasted great. Later I ate some beef gravy I made a special request to my mother in law to make me some. It too tasted great .... the first time. The second time it was going in the opposite direction and wasn't so great. I gave the rest of it to the dog and he loved it. I will never request it again. The rest of the evening I spent trying to sleep knowing I would feel better in the morning. At 4AM I was much better and ready to converse with my hubby who would probably have waited until 6AM. By 5:30 I had to move so I came to boards they are always awake and ready to listen.
Well enough whining. I guess while I still feel good it is time to be productive.

Norine,

Perhaps I should pass the "Decadron-Inspired Posting" signature onto you for the week? I think you could use it wisely. :-)

I love the idea of trying to chat with your husband at 4am. He probably doesn't know what hit him! During my decadron days, I think my husband may just play a little tape-loop with his voice saying "uh huh."

The MUGA scores are interesting aren't they? I thought my score seemed low, but it turns out that no one is above 80%. Don't know what that means, but I guess we have to trust that the docs know what these percentages actually mean.

I don't have a port, but gosh, I thought the whole idea was to make it easier! In the future, hugging yourself is in. And yes, the chemo nurses are amazing! In fact, I feel that I want to do something special for mine at my last treatment, but don't know what would be appropriate. Anyone have any ideas?

I hope that your day goes well....

*susan*

Leanne,

Oh let us hope that your kidney is functioning well and that there is no infection! Please let us know how you are feeling today, and best of luck at the doctor's office.

Take care,

*susan*

Hello,
seems like this is where I belong with you courageous folks. Had my 3rd AC on Thursday and am struggling with that shaky and achy feeling(neulasta) and already dreading round 4. Diagnosed Aug 1 with stage 2, had lumpectomy and sentinel node on Aug 5, went back for more nodes a week later. Two positive nodes, so started dose dense chemo Sept 8. First time seemed not so tiring but my hematocrit has dropped but not far enought to get procrit but yesterday could not get out of bed. Will have 4 tx with taxol afterwards, am wondering what my energy will be like then? Trying to work 3 days a week and be a single mom too. Any tips for the "brain fade" the chemo seems to induce as well?
Glad to have found this community!