Chemo June 2010

janny 99 and bon-  I am so sorry about your losses.  It is unfair hugs to both of you!

I've been feeling a lot of pressure at work lately.  I sent an email to my boss this week (after he asked me about 3 different items) that I wasn't able to complete a task because I needed help and didn't have the energy to call around and see how to do it.  After making a customer call on Tuesday, I came home an collapsed.  I never heard from my boss after this.  I was supposed to go on a business trip on Monday/Tuesday of next week (usually my good days).  The work keeps piling up.  I can ask for help, but by the time I tell the person how to do what needs to be done, I could just do it myself.  My manager has someone covering each of my accounts as a back up, but that's really hard to manage. 

So, I went to get my bloodwork today.  I was told my WBC is very low and I have to go on antibiotics.  My hemoglobens are also very low.  I'm very anemic.  They said that if it gets any lower, I could end up getting a blood transfusion.  So, while I was waiting for my scrips, I broke down in tears.  The nurse that draws blood saw me crying and came over and gave me a big hug.  The other nurse getting the scrips came over to talk to me.  My onco was walking down the hallway and ran over too.  They said I'm doing too much at work and need to slow down.  I told them I just feel so pressured and I can't keep up.  My onco said under NO CIRCUMSTANCES was I going to travel on Monday and Tuesday.  She wants me off work (and that does not mean working from my computer at home) for the 5 days from my chemo treatments.  If I wanted to take 2 months off work, she would write up the paperwork for it. My company has good benefits, so I can take the sick time for the next 4 treatments. 

I emailed my manager today and told him that I am beyond exhausted and my counts are critically low.  I told him my onco said that I have to take 5 days off for each treatment... yada yada yada.  About 2 hours after I wrote my email, my manager tells me to rest over the weekend and we can talk on Monday.  I called one of the girls from work and told her this and she was flabbergasted.  When an employee tells you that they are very ill, the least a manager could do is pick up the phone and call right then.  He was probably busy golfing! 

Janny & Bon  sorry for your losses--hugs to you both!

Kittycat--I'm amazed you've been able to work this long!  There's no way I could've worked through the AC.    I tried to work last year on chemo, and I kept having to call in sick.  Finally one morning I broke down crying and called and said I just can't do it anymore, and I took a leave of absence.  Each morning I'd get up and try to get ready for work, and the stress just wasn't good for me.  I felt so relieved after I took the leave.  I could finally focus on myself.  I hope you can take the time you need to, so your body can fight the cancer without the added stress that work causes.  Thoughts are with you!

Designermom--been following your "rash" problems.  More desicions for you!  To take it or not?  Maybe keep the drugs on hand in case of another flare-up?  Thoughts are with you too!

I've decided I'm not going to KC with my dd.  My 22yo dd is going with instead.  I'm sad that I can't go, but relieved that I won't have to travel and be a burden on everyone.  Either way I have to say that difficut good-bye--may as well be here!

Got some ointment for my radiation issues on my bum.  The PA said to go ahead and use the percocet when needed.  Only needed Tylenol today.  It seems to be improving, and hopefully it will keep getting better until I start Taxol.

Have a good weekend everyone!

Tina

Hi my peeps, insomniac Julia here :-)  2.56am, propped up in bed with laptop.

Janny, I don't know what to say, to lose your BF so suddenly, I am so sorry. 

Kittycat, you are an inspiration, how you've kept going with work through 2 diagnosis in a year, and you always seem so positive, I am in awe of you!  Take some time for yourself now, maybe taking the 2 month disability leave would be best if your boss can't be supportive.  I cannot believe he essentially told you to 'take the weekend off'.  That's big of him!  I have disability available to me too, but I've been avoiding taking it as i felt working some would add structure to my life and take my mind off cancer.  I don't actually think it's really working that way, I have trouble focusing and putting in the hours I've commited to each week.

I have to say I am addicted to this group.  I am so proud to be a member of such a fantastic, funny, strong, interesting, caring, supportive group of women, just wish we could've met some other way:-)   

 Julia

Janny:  I am so sorry beyond words for all you've been through lately.  BIG HUGS to you right now, and prayers lifted up.

Kittycat:  No wonder your counts are low - you've been burning the candle at both ends; working and taking chemo.  I understand your need to work some, but you have to pace yourself.  Your physical health and mental well being are more important.  I have been released to go back to work "as tolerated."  I am a secretary to the Assistant Principal at a middle school.  Not physically demanding but can be mentally challenging.  As I researched going back to work from a disability standpoint I learned that if you need moderations made at work in order for you to be able to function at your present position, your employer is required to make those as long as you let them know what you need.  The only exception is if it would be a financial hardship on the company or excessive moderations such as large construction projects.  But things like extra breaks, shorter work days, different seating/desk arrangements, less walking, etc. can be modified.  So when you talk to your "sweet" boss again, be thinking of what you need to help you do your job until you fully recover and then communicate those (in writing) to him/her.  Cancer is included in the Americans Disability Act which provides the guidelines employers must follow in accommodating an employee covered under the ADA.

Like others who have commented, I don't see how you've been able to work as much as you have on the A/C treatment, but I understand the need to work.  I'm looking forward to getting out of the house and being productive for a few hours a day.  Plus I love working with 8th graders and the office staff at my school are awesome.  I am starting Monday.  So, follow doctor's orders and take it easy.  

DesignerMom and Bon:  You two and your rashes/shingles!  I hope you both get some relief from that soon.  I've never had shingles but I know family members who have and I understand it can be quite  painful.  So sorry!  

And to all of you who I see on here regularly - I think you are awesome!  Whenever I get on here it's like having a girl get together.  I love reading all your posts, funny, sad, or in between.  It's the one place I feel safe in being honest.  Cancer has proven to be my biggest challenge in life so far and I'm sure I speak for most, if not all, when I say that.  So many physical challenges, so many emotional challenges, and then there's people's reactions and responses which are meant to be encouraging (I think) but just leave you shaking your head.  This is the one main reason I dread going back to work.  I'm still not comfortable in my wig yet and feel very self concious when I wear it.  But my daughter assures me that when I have it on, I look like me only it looks like I've used a lot of product to make my hair fuller.  I do not have thick hair naturally.  And I can count on her honesty.  My best girl friend says the same thing.  So maybe I don't look as much like a freak as I think I do in my wig.

Sherry - I'm sure you look beautiful in your wig.  It took about a week or 2 to get used to wearing my wig. 

Thanks everyone for your support on my work situation.  I told myself last year that I would never run myself into the ground like I did when I had my BMX. I guess this is a lesson to learn.  I am going to contact my HR rep to see what I am allowed to do.  We have unlimited sick time (up to 2 full weeks at a time).  So I can take off one week, work one week, then take the next week off to get through chemo.  The head of our company's cancer network is from HR, so I might ask her first.  She called me 2 weeks after my exchange surgery and I was out of town on a day trip.  She told me that I should be home taking care of myself.  I told her I was required by the company to see my customers once a month and had to go.  She said this... "I promise you the company will be here tomorrow, but if you keep this up, you might not be. You need to take care of yourself." 

kitty-I say if you have the benefits to take a block of time off, give yourself the gift of focusing JUST on your health and needs.  It sounds like your HR contact will be able to advise you well.

danielle321-  so sorry about your nail, hand and foot pain.  I have read on other threads that there is something called "hand and foot syndrome".  I know a lot of ladies use ice on toe and fingernails, but I think that is during chemo, not sure if it helps at other times.  Also, one Onc nurse said she swore by tea tree oil rubbed into nails.  Might be worth a try.  I bet if you go to the Chemo, before, during and after forum and search "nails" "hand and foot"  you will find some more info.  Hoping things get better for you.  Oh!  I think someone said that the Taxol company provide gel cooling gloves to chemo facilities.  I would definitely ask.

I am New to this board. I was originally Dxd in Oct 2008. Had Lumpectomy, wasn't clear margin so I did a Dbl Mastectomy Dec 2008. My lumpectomy showed Invasive ductal in Left breast stage 1 and Lubular DCIS in Both Breasts. That was the determining factor in the double mastectomy. I was 41 at the time of Dx with No family History going back 3 generations on all sides of family. Was ER/PR Hu2 Neg. I had reconstruction and was completed with implants in 2009. Had CT scan with and Without Contrast. Was Negative.. Yahoo.. Then, May 2010 I found a Small Lump just under the scar on the left breast. My Plastic Surgeon removed it, expecting it to be Scar Tissue. Nope.. It was Invasive Ductal Carcinoma, AGAIN.. Had Full body MRI scan with some radioactive dye and I was Negative.. THANK GOD!!! It Only came back Local. 

June, 2010 I started Cytoxan and Taxol 4 rounds every 21 days. I have had 2 rounds and am 10 days away from 3rd round.. that means I am 31 days from the Last Dose!!! Almost Done

After round 1, I slept most of the day and the following. Was given Phnergan for nausa that I might get. I was soo scared of getting it, I took it every 4 hrs for the first 48 hrs post chemo. Didn't get sick at all, don't know if I would of without the meds. I was fine until day 4, then began to feel Flue like. I called and made an appt for day 5 for a Colonic. Felt worse on day 5. Had Colonic and Felt 110% better afterwards and continued to feel Great. Day 9 or 10 I woke up with the begining of Thrush. Looking at natural alternatives, I gargled with Coloidal Silver. was gone in 2 days. I was Sooo Happy it worked. I did Not want to put more drugs into my body, if there is even 1 for thrush. Went well until Day 15. My head started itching, and hair started falling out. By day 17, I woke up in the morning and it was GONE..  Wow, that was FAST. Still had my eye brows and most eye lashes. Under arm hair was gone.

Round 2 of Chemo was July 16th. All went pretty similar except I started to notice that I was short of breath when walking and talking. Called Onc and he wasn't concerned. I figured in advance that seeing I felt fluish after round 1, I would in round 2, so I planned for a Colonic but on day 4 this time. I was constipated again, so the colonic took care of that and I never felt fluish this time. Slept again that day and day 2. My WBC's were on the low side of normal before this round, so I had to go back on day 2 for a Neupigen Shot to help Boost em up. There are 10 more days now until round 3 and so far I feel GREAT. I am a little tired is all. 

Almost forgot: Day 6 of this round I was out in the sun for less than 10 minutes. It was about 90-95 (southern california Summer) and in that little amount of time I got Heat Exhausted and almost passed out. Now I "Get it" when they tell me to stay out of the sun and heat. I don't know if anyone else has had this issue, but, for me, it scared the heck out of me to almost pass out. I have had heat exhaustion in the past, but, Never has it happened in that Short amount of time. 

Everyone reacts to Chemo differently. I know for whatever reason, I am lucky and am not having many side effects. I was begining to wonder if they gave me chemo or Saline. When my hair all fell out, that answered that question.

kittycat and isla - that's so funny, I was with Isla on her guess (I'm an ex-New Zealander).

Hi everyone, I've been laying low for a while - reading but not commenting. I'm doing OK, had first taxol that knocked me out for 2 days, but am OK now, and getting ready for tomorrow's dose.

danielle321 - i have been using ice gel gloves on my nails (they are provided by my tx center, but you could just use bags of frozen vege instead), but this is just during the chemo IV itself. it is supposed to help look after your nails. It doesn't help prevent neuropathy, or the tenderness of the skin on the palms of my hands.

hope everyone is doing ok!

Hi Guys: Reporting in on Day 3 of my post Taxol, which I began on Thursday (dose dense, every 2 weeks).  Danielle - So far no nail effects or neuropathy, so I can't help you witht that. SEs have been a slight nausea (wonder if it's from the Benadryl?) which Ativan helps with.  Also, yesterday, EXTREME fatigue, so I was pasted to my bed.  Today I have a litttle more energy.  Had a funny taste on my tongue on Friday, but that seems to be better.  No bad body aches, yet, but they told me to take ibuprorin if they come.  Kittycat- can you talke some Family and Mediacal Leave, to give yourself a little time off from work? That's what I did. Toni

Hi Northern Girl,

I loved your post it made me both laugh and cry. People always tell me I look great too and I feel the same way "who the hell are you kidding". My efforts to keep fit are going well but for the first time after my last FEC treatment I was EXHAUSTED and actually had to leave my gym class. I agree with you about working. I am still waiiting to hear about my LTD I would assume that you have already gotten your sick leave EI. My daughter is going to university in September and I wish I was at work to help her more financially and have told my husband I may go back during radiation and he has said NOT A CHANCE. You are so right about not working and I think anyone who has to work through this is being made to suffer cruel and unusual punishment. I appreciate you telling how your Docetaxol went and I hope the side effects are less for me too. I have managed my way through FEC but I am getting more fatigue. I am hopeful with the Docetaxol that the SE will be less. I have a lot of the feelings you do Northern Girl and I would like to say to Kity Kat .......Find a way Kity Kat you need to heal and you need to listen to your inner self and your Onc. 

 Take care,

Trusting

SKD,

I have not found the wait long at all in fact the reconstruction will bedone in conjunction with my treatment schedule. I live in BC and I have a wonderful bunch of Dr's at UBC who are able to make things happen when and if they need too. I hope you do not have to wait for reconstruction. May 2011 sounds like a hefty wait to me. I hope you are able to have it sooner as I think it really helps with completion.

Thanks,

Trusting

I have officially named my recliner in our den my chemo recouping chair.  I don't like to lay down during the day but I spend a lot of time stretched out in my lounger.  I seem to get more nauseous and more fatigued with each treatment so I guess after 5 more I may not be able to get out of bed. 

Did go yesterday with my DH on our date, but I was extremely tired when we got back because we walked a good bit in the heat.  I just can not tolerate these hot days anymore.  The heat really makes me feel sick and fainty after about 10 minutes and I feel like such a wimp but can't help it.

Oh well, just needed to get that out in the open and move on.  Thanks, for being there when a girl needs it. LOL,gin2ca

I finished my 9th weekly Taxol/Herceptin 1 week ago this past Monday...the strange thing is that I have had very little neuropathy until today!!!  Everything that I've been reading about, such as the feeling like my feet have been burned, tingling, numbness, started up this afternoon.  I thought maybe I had just been on my feet too long at work, but this evening the feeling in my feet and now the tingling in my fingers is even worse!  Is it that unusual to not have any of this all the way through my first 9 weeks until now?  Any suggestions?  I will be starting FAC a week from tomorrow.  Now I'm starting to get very nervous.