Anyone starting chemo in June 08
Comments
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Wow, haven't posted for a while. Just haven't really been feeling up to snuff as some say. Leggy, hope your job is going OK and you are getting your pain under control as well as your pain in the A$$ coworker. Bonnie has a great idea with accident at work. Would be a ballbuster of a day. Bonnie, I also can't believe you are going camping and roughing it like that. Sometimes I am up 3 times a night to potty. I hope you have a wonderful time though. Always fun to hear everyone's adventures. I have nothing fun to tell at all. Just work for me and a high power bill from running the AC day and night. So, ya, I'm working to be cool! Wyoming, if you can read me.....please drink a slushy potent drink for me. Hi Diesel and Choc! Hi Kelly and KK and everyone else. Hugs to all...Hunkydory
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I'm with you on not feeling up to snuff. I was taken off xeloda last week because my bilirubin levels are high so they want to see if that is the cause. The week before that they took me off tykerb. So just waiting now this week to see what is what. My tumor markers are rising too so I think I am in a funk about that. ugh
I should be in a good mood. We have just been to a rockies game, tonight I have tickets for an ABBA show at red rocks, and sat we leave for the Oregon coast. I think my anxiety is making everything less enjoyable. Anyway my porch is 80 percent done and I have been sitting out there almost every night. It should be done when we get home from Oregon.
I just found out about a support group close to me for stage 4 people and I think I will go to that in a few weeks. Maybe I will find someone I like to visit with. I think I am more lonely than in need of "support". I better go clean up as Elcie has a friend coming over, Kelly
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Kelly, sorry about your tx being changed. I too am not having great results on Xeloda, altho doc hasnt changed it yet. I go to a stage IV group here, and it's only been 4 weeks, but the ladies are all great. i'm the youngest, but not by much and we all understand each other's situations. It's a good idea. Leggy, I almost peed my pants picturing how to pee standing up without a ... you know...man part. I had enuf trouble with no pub's when on chemo. it would dribble all over the place. lol. Hey, maybe, speaking of accidents you should just hurt your back (fake) and go on disability and just be finished with those losers! I'm sure you could drive your golf cart into a tree or something and say a branch got stuck under the pedal. oooh...your back/neck.....that could get you some time off for a looong time.
i kow it sounds not right, but those guys are not doing the right thing either! KK, hope you have water wherever you're going camping so you can float and relax and get away from the humidity (and mosquitoes!) Hi everyone else.(dont want to leave anyone out) HD, Bonnie hope you're having a good week. Wyoming you better be living it up for us all in Hawaii! holidays rule! We are now officially saving for Christmas with family in Ontario and then Italy in May. so i'm just hangin' out for the summer with puppy while hubby works and brings home the bacon.
i'm so spoiled! xo hugs all.
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Hi girls, I've been coming home early this week, doctor's orders, and why should I kill myself, for a company who doesn't seem to care. I gave them the smoking gun, a post I wrote on 08/21/09 on BC.org. I looked for it on Sunday and bingo, there it was. They kept saying the missing link was the date of the the time the ass.made fun of my hair in a meeting in front of all the guys. That was when he said my hair looked like a skunk, white on the top and black on the sides...I was so upset that I was crying in the then empty lunchroom, when a female co worker came in and I told her what happened. She talked to him and later he apologized but only grudgingly. To make fun of a women's hair, after chemo. is just beyond the pail, but then it went from bad to worse. Once when I reported a bad smell in the courtyard, he said "when's the last time you took a bath", and this was on the radio, for all to hear. Later he kept calling me stinky Jan. Then he would make fun of my age, and saying," why are you worried about the health care reform, when your going to be dead anyway. Then when I forgot something and said chemo brain, he said no, your just old....Well I may be old but I can still see an ass, when I see one. It's not over until the fat lady sings. If it's the last thing I do at work, I hope he get's canned.
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I'm back. I had a blast. I relaxed so much. I think I need to live by water. We had beautiful weather and no time lines. I was on a beach everyday. We were on the island of Kauai and there were chickens everywhere. I think I could live there if I had enough money. When I win the lottery we will all meet in Kauai.
Leggy keep your chin up. To bad you have to work with such a jerk. I is too bad so many people allow him to continue to be such a jerk.
Hunky hope you are feeling better. Don't worry about using the AC you need to be comfortable.
Chocolate I loved the video of Diesel. I looked at all of your pictures of him. He is so cute.
Kelly have fun on your vaca. I love Oregon. I glad you have been able to enjoy your porch. Sorry to hear about you treatment.
Bonnie glad to hear from you. Good luck going pee outside. Don't get lost. How is your grand daughter? I bet she is growing like a weed.
Karen nice to hear from you. Thank you for giving me good vibes on my trip.
I had treatment yesterday and I am a little tired. I have my port repaired on Tues.
Have a good weekend.
Wyoming
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I'm glad you had a great time on your vacation Wyoming!!!! Tomorrow's my Mom's 80Th birthday, so my brother and his wife are coming to Napa, and we'll meet them at a restaurant called Brix. It's pretty fancy, so I'll have a chance to wear my new dress, I bought last weekend.
Wednesday, I have the psychiatrist appointment, followed by my GP apt. I'm going to impress on them just how difficult my job is with my neck and back problems along with neuropathy in my feet. Hopefully I'll get some help. The stress alone of thinking about work is enough.
OK that's enough whining from me,
Love to all
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Wyoming, I am so glad you enjoyed. It helps to live through other peoples wonderful adventures. I do hope you win the lottery. I hope your port repair goes ok. I remember when I had mine out...my onc wasn't all for that...but I talked him into it. The removal was easier than placement, and I remember having radiation 4 hours after my removal. Hope they can get yours fixed. My veins are not good and I was so happy to have the port...but, the blood draws were never done via the port though. Guess the phlebotomists have to have certain training for the port. All my surgeries and CBCs were just a coin toss between the vampires who would have to come poke me. Anyway...good luck on the repair! Rest up...you have to be dragging a bit. Leggy, I looked up the Brix restaurant online. I hope you have a great time. It looks lovely. My mom is 95 so I understand such a celebration. Once again...if I could buy anyone of you a glass of wonderful wine or a delicious dessert....I would. I am on some anitbiotics this week...I think I am climbing out of the hole just a little. Have an appt with PS this Friday. Bonnie...hope you are or have survived the camping. Kelly, Oregon sounds great this time of year. Not too hot there. It should be beautiful. KK...hello....Choc....your baby is a beauty! He will rule your home! This I know. Hugs to you all....Hunkydory
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Wyoming, hope your port fix went well today. Was just thinkin about ya. Hunkydory
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Hi girls, I second that on well wishes for Wyoming. I've been taking it easy and took friday off, and then I felt like crap even with the long weekend. So I called in yesterday as well as today, and tomorrow I have two doctor appointments so I will take tomorrow off as well, and see what they have to say about my working from now on. Hopefully my doctors are on the same page, because I just can't do it anymore. But a friend of mine told me let them let me go first, so I don't know what to do, but I know I can't work there anymore. My last day there I'm going to tell them about how the ass manager smokes pot with his employee's, while on the job. But then again I don't want anyone else to get in trouble, even if they are a lazy bunch. The girls on our property, all work hard, and don't get away with this monkey business.
Oh well. I bought a swimming cap and goggles, for the pool we have in my mobile home park, so I started to go, and there were all these people there, just floating around, and it's a small pool, so I'll try in the morning. Gee whiz, I can't catch a break. Don't they know a women with hot flashes, needs to cool off!!!
Hey lets hear a little from you girls
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Wyoming, thinking of you and hoping it all went well with your port removal. gentle hugs.
I went to see my med.onc yesterday. It's the first appt. since my CTscan 7 weeks ago. After the CT, she sent me to rad.onc. about my throat issues and having radiation on the node that is pressing on my esophagus. I'm pretty scared about radiation. Last time it burned the pericardium around my heart, and the taxol chemo leaked into it and my poor heart almost stopped beating. She gave me two mths to live at that point!!! That was in 2008.
So....we (me, dh & rad.onc) decided that radiation could wait for now. PHEW! Then I called to get an appt. with med.onc. to discuss my current chemo tx, and the disease progression, and alternative tx. and she said go back to the rad.onc. as my symptoms have increased over the past two weeks. I am pretty much just eating mushy food now.
go back to radiation? No! I insisted on meeting with her. In the meantime, dh called another onc. about getting a consult from him, and they said it would take until november. wow! But at the appt. yest. all of a sudden she was prepared, she was sympathetic, she was attentive and we came up with a good game plan. She is referring me to a GI specialist to consider having a stent inserted in my esophagus. This will help with the swallowing food issue. Then we talked about more chemo options.
Dh and I totally got the feeling that the onc's had spoken, (of course they have, its a small clinic)and she knew about our phone call for a new onc. consult. so she finally got her act together and paid some attention to what's been going on with me for the past 12 weeks. I cannot eat. Thats a pretty major se. It's about time! And now I am down about 7 lbs.
Anyway, so now I wait for the GI specialist to schedule the surgery for stent placement (if approved by the board) and hope that radiation is not our only option. It's the easiest one for the doc's, but scariest for me. She finally listened to my concerns, so at least i dont have to change onc's. That's a relief at this stage of the game too.
anyway, that's it from me for now. I'm still chasing after puppy, and with little food going down, energy is at an all time low.
nap time now. love to all, xo michelle
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Your all in my prayers! Good luck to all of us, and let today be a pain free day...
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Ditto from what Leggy says. Choc....gawd...hope the stent helps you swallow. You need your nutrition as well as feeling human and and eating real food...eh? This fricking disease robs us of so much. I am so sorry I am so negative all the time...but I just have that feeling. On the not so negative side....I just made a huge batch of lasagna and french bread and took some to some very good friends. She had her hip replaced and is still in hospital. They have been so good to me I wanted to share. Now I am worn out. I think about all of you a lot and how we each have our struggles. Leggy...wish I knew more about dissability, but I hope the docs are on your page too and you can get the hell out of there. I have Dr appt tomorrow so I will let you know how that goes. Hugs to all...HD
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Hi girls, I went to the GP yesterday and she set me up for an MRI, for my neck and back, I told her I can't go back to work, and she said she knew about my appoinment with my therapist, and how that did not go well at all. I started crying and said that I can't go back to work, for physical and stress reasons, and that if they don't help me, I won't be homeless, and that with my 80 year old mother at home what choice do I have. Then I said I'd sooner die, than be on some street corner with a damn sign. Well my therapist put a note in my file...The GP gave me a lecture, and that my dr. was really worried about me....OMG. Well I have to into HR now, and give them the note for being unable to work for a month, until we figure out what's wrong with my back, but that the GP said she would be really surprised if it was anything other than Spinal Stenosis.
Wish me luck
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Well, crap Leggy. I hope this can be resolved. Isn't one of your physicians willing to sign you off on dissability? I am sorry. All this anxiety can't be good for you, I mean the work problems and the pain. I don't have any information on short, or long term dissability. Do you have an attorney you trust? I have heard they can be helpful in preparation for dissability. I plan on using one when my time comes. My thoughts are with you. Hugs....Hunkydory
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I am so sorry to hear all this yucky news but also glad that we all have each other to talk to and vent etc. I feel like I am in a room full of friends when I read and write on here. I can tell you all things I don't talk about with anyone else.
We are still in Oregon with all the family. My husband, boys and daughter, my parents were here for four days, my in laws are here as well as my brother in law, his wife and two boys. We have been on the beach, having bonfires, horseback riding (my mom, 8 year old and I, we walked so now broken backs this time! my mom said it was the last time she is riding a horse, hers was so fat her legs were sticking out and she couldn't kick the horse for love nor money! It was funny but neither of us could walk well after, we probably looked like drunkards!)we went to the redwoods trees of mystery, a lighthouse and have had family dinners every night! No one has talked about cancer either and I am not taking anything but sleeping pills right now so I feel ok.
I will play the lottery before I go and maybe we will all be meeting on a cruise or in Hawaii soon! Kelly
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hi ladies. Kelly, your post made me smile! no cancer talk. YAY! Leggy, you really deserve a break! I'm praying for you.
I'm in hospital right now. nothing has stayed down for over 48 hrs. I'm on a drip and they'll scope tomorrow hopefully, and get a stent in by monday. I cannot believe that with all this crap! my biggest complaint is that I'm So hungry!! ravenous! and two more days before I can eat. ugh!
hugs & love all, Michelle -
I'm so sorry to hear abut Leggy and Chocolate. Good luck. I have my own tale to tell. I went in to have my pot replaced or repaired and the tubing fell into my heart. I had to take an ambulance to Wyoming Medical Center which is 130 miles away to have it taken out. Had to spend the night to monitor my heart. What was to be out patience surgery ended up being an over night stay. I'm fine. I had treatment on Friday so I'm a little tired. Good thing I had my trip to Hawaii first. OK they say that everything happens in threes. I think this group has met that old wives tail. So everything else should go smoothly.
Kelly sounds like you are having a great time. I would have been able to walk after riding a horse either. But usually it is not just my legs but my butt!!!
Hunky your lasagna sounds good. May have to make some.
Bonnie how was you camping trip. Karen how are you doing?
Talk to everyone later. You are all in my thoughts.
Wyoming
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Chocolate, so sorry you are going through this but want to send you warm hugs and hope that stent does the job. I am sorry you are so hungry. I am glad you have internet access in hospital to keep you entertained and with us. Wyoming, wow...what a scare you had over a simple port outpatient surgery. Glad that all went well in the end. So scary though. Glad you are with us. Wyoming, I can't see your new avatar very well. Is that the grandkids? Kelly, I laughed so hard about the horse story. I could really visualize it. I am with Wyoming, I would not be walking at all after a horseback ride and would probably have to be drunk to get on one. Glad you are enjoying the beach. Leggy, how you doing? Bonnie, hope you survived your camping trip. Can't wait to hear some stories. Karen, hope you are feeling well. For my news....I have another surgery scheduled for the end of this month now. It seems like I just had one, but I am not going to complain. At least not yet. I am alone this weekend. DH and son gone fishing. Love to all....Hunkydory
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OMG, I had to hold my breath, while I was reading your posts, Choc. and Wyoming. Both of you girls are going through so much, but it's good to hear from you, no matter what and it sounds like your in good hands, anyway, even if they do drop things into your heart, you'll always be in mine...sorry I couldn't help it. Now I'm really glad however to hear from you as well Kelly, and LOL, it's been years since I've gone riding, but I know it just isn't going to happen again, in this lifetime. You go girl!!! I can picture you all around the campfire. Makes me fell all warm and fuzzy. HD, another surgery, I don't know how you do it, but we do what we have to.
Yesterday I went to HR and it was just the two girls and me, so we had a nice long chat, and I told them everything, so I think things will be shaking up a bit. I felt pretty good about it too. Then I got all my paper work in to the hospital for SDI. Thanks for the info on getting an attorney, HD. I might have to do that. On the 10th I have an MRI, so that was quick, and PT starts on the 12th, so I won't be sitting on my laurels.
Hey one more thing, I just don't understand, how so many people seem to get on disability, and my doctor's can't see that I can't work as a gardener anymore. I've worked all my life, and only took off 3 months for chemo., but now I'm just an old broken down horse. On that note, however, having not worked for 9 days, I feel much better!! Ah, the life of leisure. This morning my friend put in a new toilet for me, my other one was too short, and not very good, so it takes a real friend to replace someone's crap per.
Well I'm out of things to say, wish you all well, and it sure would be nice to hear from Bonnie and KKing!!! Not that that was a guilt trip or anything...
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Oh, gawd...now I am laughing. Leggy thanks for giving me a chuckle today. The Crap per story just hit my funny bone. I just had to post and tell you! HD
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Hi Girls
Just catching up. We were away to a friend's cottage for two days and camping for four days and just got back. The weather was really good and Chocolate I did a lot of floating and thanking God for letting me stand in the lake and take in all the scenery and feel the peace. I actually brought back some rocks from the water so I can keep them around. I think I convinced myself that I could touch one and feel the same vibes coming from it....I must be going KooKoo.....
I am sorry to hear all the things that are happening to everyone. Wyoming ....sounds like you had a great vacation.. sorry you came back and had to endure all of this. Leggy....that guys is one big Ahole...I cant believe he could be such a d##k, I hope he gets his. Chocolate...I hope everything goes well for you...I am sending you many hugs. HunkyD...will this be the final surgery for you now... you have gone through so much as well. Kelly...glad you had such a nice time and that they figure out your meds. Hey Bonnie....hope things are well with you. It does feel to be back here talking with all of you. Well, I have another week of vacation. We are going to Wasaga beach for a day or two. I love going there. Hope everyone has a feel good day soon. Hugs to you all...Karen
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Well so sorry to hear all the bad news for everyone and hope it all turns out okay. I hate that darn disease just the word cancer makes me sick.
Anyway off that subject and on to my wonderful camping trip, the potty trips at night were a lot better than at home probably because I had it in my mind that I wasn't going. We did some fishing of course we didn't catch anything. Went swimming in the lake which was really nice and warm. We were not supposed to come home till tomorrow but here we are in tents and it started to pour with rain in the middle of the night and just kept it up most of the day. We decided we had better pack up and go home as everything was soaked and we all looked like a bunch of drown rats. Oh well we tried. If I ever could figure out how to send pictures on here I would send some good ones, maybe one day I will figure it out!! lol.
Everyone take care and I wish you all the best of luck, I am just waiting to get the blood test back as the doc. wants to check my liver again . I guess last time it was a little off, but hopefully it is nothing.
Must go now talk to you all later
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So nice to hear from you girls! Last night I went got take out, of pizza and salad, for my Mom and I. Then we watched a DVD of family pictures, my Aunt put together. WOW it was really cool.
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Thank you to all of you. You make me laugh and lift my spirits every time I read the post. We all have crap happening but we find the humor in life!!!!!!!
While going through my trials, I learned about a Intervention Radiologist who can do ablation radiology. He pin points the mass and inserts the radiation directly into the mass and not touch any other part of you body. If it gets to the point my tumors grow I'm going to go see him.
I'm finally feeling human again. Having chemo after surgery took a toll on me. I slept most to the weekend.
Leggy you are too honest to get on disability. My hubby has to investigate a lot of disability cases because they lie so much. Pizza sounds so good.
Chocolate how is the stint? Are you able to keep anything down? We are always wanting to lose weight but not this way
Bonnie sounds like you had a great time. Good luck on the liver tests.
Karen I love being near water. I like your idea of bring home some rocks to bring back the images and feelings. Soak up some sun and smell of the water for me.
Hunky what all do you have to have done with this surgery? Will this be the last. Make sure to take it easy. We are a group of women who have a strong work ethic but we need to take it easy and not feel guilty. It is OK to rest and do nothing.
Kelly I love Oregon. Did you drive up there? There are some pretty drives. Did you come home to a finished porch? Send pictures.
Enough rambling for today. I should be able to post more often again. I love hearing from everyone.
Wyoming
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Well my doctor emailed me and the results from the MRI, confirms I have degenerative as well as disk buging at the L2-L5. She is referring me to a spine clinic, in a town that's about 2 hrs. away, on a good day....Lovely. So at least they know now I'm not faking it.
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Leggy Good Luck
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I forgot to take a picture of the porch. My almost new camera is not working correctly anyway but I have been sitting on the porch quite a bit. Once they finish up the last few bits I will put more comfortable furniture on it. And mosquito repellant!! Evidently mosquitos are not thrilled with my chemo smell but they love my husband and daughter~ they are both covered with bites.
I have had a few weeks off my trial because of my darn liver and since my onc is on holiday this week I am taking another week off to go see my brothers new baby. I can't believe what a difference it makes to not be taking meds all day and just eating when you feel like it. It is a holiday from drugs!
I will be thinking of you all while I am gone to Omaha this week. I wish, well lots of things, but for now I hope everyone has a great week! Let's try get through a week without any emergencies, okay? Kelly
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Kelly, I love Omaha. Have you been to the zoo? I think it is one of the best. Give your new niece/nephew a hug for me.
Ditto on no emergencies.
Wyoming
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sorry about being awol for a while. i've had my laptop, but no energy at all. This stent business is much more involved than I thought afterall. They poked my 7 times to get a veing for the CT imaging until I said "ENUF". I told them to get the experts. I only have one arm to use afterall. Xrays, EKG,s etc. then Surgery was on Tuesday. I was out all day. I mean out, drooling, could not wake up at all. The next day I puked all morning from the morphine even with Zofran. yuck! Today I have pain in my chest, so they sent me for an xray again the see if the stent was inserted properly. Geez, God, I hope so. I do not want to go through all that again!
Sorry to hear about you heart mispay Wyoming, but glad nothing serious resulted. And Leggy, now those ladies in PR know your situation, I think they'll be watching out for you. Not to mention getting the right tx for you back!
Love to everyone else. tired now, must nap. hugs & love, michelle
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Chocolate, hope that stent is in correctly and you are enjoying some kind of real food by now. I am sorry you had to go through all this. I am so glad to hear from all the rest of you also. I have been working and trying to get things done. Cute new avatar of grandkids Wyoming. Leggy, good luck. I hope you can get your pain resolved. Bonnie, hope your liver tests come back OK. Kathy, enjoy last week of vacation. Kelly, enjoy the new porch and your vacation from the trial. Hugs to ya all....enjoy what you can, when you can! Hunkydory
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