How Are You Different Now??

Is this for any stager or are you just interested in like dx's?  And good and/or bad differences?  I like the thought as I am different.  I am different from my first different from the first dx as well.  Life is totally different, I look at things differently, some make me mad, some give me joy, some I just plain don't wait to look at anymore at all. 

I have reached a 'state of grace' within myself that so many strive for - my sister for instance - she admires my new found patience and reverence - I tell her that you don't have to go getting a terminal illness to get to this point and then we laugh.  I laugh at myself more - I was a bit of a clown before but now, I have to include my limitations into it and make like they are a part of the clown act...and laugh at myself. 

I am not new.  I have days I feel great, days I don't same as before.  I simply exist in a 'new normal' but me is still me - just less in a rush to let life go by...

'Slow down, you move to fast, gotta make the moment last, tripping down the cobblestones and feeling groovy...la a da da da da, feeling groovy....'  (from Fitz a few weeks ago and it fits here)

Hv4lv's OMG what a transcending experience and man, as i wrote on the Older Woemn thread (with photo posted) we all need to do something to get us far from this disease in mind, body and soul. i am still so ill that I don't get many good days, but yesterday I raced in the "Colintgton Island Ocean Regatta" with a friend who took me out with him. The winds were about 35 knots and we rocked it-gunnels were in the water and man, I was at the helm and found that sweet spot in the wind where the sails just sing and water is crashing over the bow and so much is going on that I forgot about cancer!! David is so great because he is teaching me to sail and his boat is awesome-I mean I was able to finish the race even with a gimpy arm from BC surgery and having to use it because of the design of the tiller (it is not a wheel). Awesome day!! And the ocean regatta is held every Wednesday so we are planning to go at it again. OK, here's the photo I posted on the "POD Thread" just to get the wind in yer sails maties!

Yee-haaaaaaaaaa!!!!! We were positioned in the lead and this shot was taken as everyone was coming outof the gate and not under full set sails yet!! Wishing each of you was there with us. xxooo, SV

Since my dx, I am more self centered, sensitive and especially understanding people in need and support.

Perspective of my life is more precious and clear to me, I try to live everyday to the fullest, to give me peace and happiness . 

I am not in the hurry to do anything now, I take my sweet old time to do everything as long as not impacting anyone.  I don't get upset or worry about every little thing any more, just go with the flow like my husband, there is always tomorrow, another way or just let him worry about it, not me!

And, I took up swimming as well, never jumped into deep end of pool till recently at age of 50, ha.ha.

I am willing to try new things and hopefully have fun at the same time. 

Bugs, I could have written your post.  I guess to anyone who's read our posts here a lot, Bugs and I are a little "crazy".  We both like to shake our booty at the drop of a hat to a good "rump shaker" (right Bugs????), and if someone ever figures out how to get us together live, the party may never be over....

Seriously, I was laid back before the cancer, but even more so now; compassionate before the cancer, but definitely more so now.  I just can't take some of the sad stories I hear or read (or see) as well as I used to.  I definitely don't spend time with people who waste their time on material things.....

Good thread....

Prior to diagnosis, I was a compassionate person, volunteered at various things, but had very little patience, extremely OCD (everything has a place, clean, clean, clean) and never said no to anyone, then I would be overworked at home and at work and stressed about something I had brought on myself.  I was afraid to try new things, worried how I looked and stressed over bad hair days.  Deep down I've always had this part of me that wants to do more, but I didn't.   I'm the good one, hold the family together, host the dinners, holidays, etc. 

Now I am more understanding of people and situations on so many levels. I am still compassionate, probably more so - I want to help eveyone, I just can't help myself.   I seldom get angry - it's a waste of energy and the only person being hurt by my anger is myself and maybe someone I really care about - not worth it.  I am not afraid to speak for myself, nor am I afraid to try something new.  If I'm feeling overwhelmed and feel that by saying yes to something that may be too much for me, I simply say no, without guilt. On the other hand I find myself saying yes more to friends who invite me out, whereas I used to say no.   Patience, I have so much more patience and it feels good to have that patience.  I also let dishes sit in the sink overnight from time to time, shoes sit in the corner and folded clothes on the edge of the table.  I've learned to "let it go" some....   For the first time in my life I find myself saying, I love my life and I AM TRULY HAPPY.  Really, really happy, which I think came from me letting go, accepting the love and friendship into my heart. Hard to explain because I am married with children and have a great group of friends and co-workers, but I think I lived my whole life "waiting for the other shoe to drop".  Well, the other shoe did drop, so why continue to have that invisible wall there - just let it go.    

I went back to church. I need all the help I can get!  But seriously made me think of larger issues and ultimately, how unimportant the things are that I used to get stressed out over....

Sadly, my Oscar Madison-like approach to basic housekeeping remains about  the same. Has nothing to do with priorities, I guess I am a 100% slob for life! 

I also have a world-class collection of tank tops. I am not kidding. I seldom wore them pre dx, but between surgery, radiation and being unreconstructed, well, I am the tank queen...

HOw am I different.....I'm not the same person....changed in too many ways, not sure that its for the better!!!....

1. when I hear about someone else who needs help, instead of just thinking, "Oh, I should give them a call/send them a card/bring them some food etc.".....I actually make the time to do it.

2. more impatient with people who complain about really stupid little things

3. never have had a 'bad hair day' since mine grew back

4. really appreciate and am grateful for my health, nature, getting to spend time with family, friends etc.

5. more willing to take risks..... thinking that if I want to do something, I better do it NOW.....and what's the worse that could happen if what I'm trying doesn't work out?

6. more able to keep everything in perspective; if things get hairy at work or home, I think that no matter what's going on, things could be (and have been) a lot worse!!!

Well, first of all I'm bald (and I don't seem to care about the hairloss for the moment).  I love being hair ready in a minute!  I look at everything as an adventure - even getting a PETscan.  I am very grateful for all the support from the gals here on the board and friends and family!

I always saw things as right or wrong, black or white. My world now has a whole lotta gray in it.

I used to get indignant when people would do/say unjust things and would call them out on it. Now, unless it is earth-shattering in importance, I feel 'Life is too short to get my panties in a wad.'

Was always optmistic, sometimes even hopelessly so. Now that has tempered to be cautiously optimistic.

I was innocent and my innocence is gone.