The dumbest things people have said to you/about you

When I first spoke to my friend of many years regarding being diagnosed with my breast cancer, she had called me after getting in the wine again.  She was quite full of herself and wanted to know "what kind of survivor did I want to be?" like I was part of a LifeTime movie....so I told her "one that survives..."

the next week she must have had her list out again, as she wanted to make sure I heard her when she asked me Do I have a will?, and making sure I knew to get one done sooner than later...she was just so casual, and not aware of how upsetting the conversation was, how I was not ready, and it felt like I was being interrogated!

and the way I dealt with her obvious anxiety was to stay still, not offer too much response until she started to feel and hear her words..and to deal with her feelings about my diagnosis.

still friends, but I wish she had a filter sometimes

kate - I don't believe that you can't think of anything appropriate - look at your signature comment - no profanity there but the message gets across loud and clear!! - I like your style!

Rae

Rea--next time your 92 year old mother says how lucky she is to have never had a life-threatening illness, tell her that, unlike bc, old age is 100% fatal. 

Squid--"what kind of survivor do you want to be"?!  What an absurd question!  Next time you talk to her ask her where she's getting her ideas from so we can all go there and express our outrage at how people are using the info!  

mcbird--Did you ask your DIL why she wanted to know?  Or better yet, "What are you going to do with your share of the money?" 

I knwo there's no cure for stupid, but there MUST be some way to protect ourselves from stupid! 

Kate - I so know how you felt.  This past weekend my SIL who visits once a year with her bratty teenage daughters said to me "Well, Maddie(17 yrs old) certainly noticed your new girls.  he mentioned them to me and I told her if you've got them, flaunt them even if it seems inappropriate.  After all you've been through you can show them off if you want". Gee, thanks - my jaw just dropped and I walked away.  Yeah, like it hasn't been hard finding a new comfort in my new body and I'm just so proud of these new, fake breasts and really really want to flaunt them because they are so much better than real breasts!  Only the ladies on here know what it's like to find a new style and comfort with our new shapes and sizes - not to mention the weight gain from all the drugs etc.  Sheesh!  I know this weekend will be more of the same - hope I can hold my tongue

LOL!  That is pretty funny!

I would love to have been able to watch the conversation where he explained everything to girlfriend!  Hilarious, I bet!

"Oh, we've always been bosom buddies and I like to keep abreast of all her news"

squidwitch42 -

i am full of admiration for your patience and understanding when dealing with your friend's thoughtless comments. You are a good friend.

Julie E

Leah - a great big LOL for that one!

chainsawz - what a jerk!  You should be proud of your actions - you have probably saved many a women from the same fate!  It is definitely a moment to remember and laugh about - lol!

Rae  

chainsawz- That was classic!  Loved your reaction! ROFL!  I would probably have done the exact same thing but felt no shame whatsoever! 

I just finished rads yesterday and glad of it. My neighbor has been a gem, asking if she can help, checking on progress, willing to listen and to be a friend.  Yesterday afternoon she came over to help me fill kids' school supply bags for a giveaway at a local fest.  She even brought me a "finished with rads" gift of chocolate. (filled with soy, but that's not it...)  What a nice neighbor! 

Then while she was here, she began telling me about her weekend visitors, one of whom is a really nice gal who began getting cancer when she was 12, and who has survived 4 or 5 recurrences.  About the telling of the 4th recurrence, I had to tell my neighbor "this is just too sad to hear..." and changed the subject.

I don't think she ever got that I really didn't need to hear about recurrences on the same day I finished tx... She's a dear sweet woman, but people can be clueless.  Fortunately I was feeling too good to let it get to me, and just appreciated her gift of friendship.  But still.....

"I'm here for you."

A quote from two very good friends who also had breast cancer

linda- How about "I'm sorry you have to go through this"?

Doesn't it seem when people find out about your bc and tx they feel like they have to tell you the "horror stories" of family, friends, etc.......just like when you are pregnant and all the women want to tell the mom-to-be the labor/delivery "horror stores"?  A warm smile, a hug, support, that is all people really want with any medical situation!