Mom's nearing the end

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SandysDaughter
SandysDaughter Member Posts: 10
edited June 2014 in Caring for Someone with Breast cancer
Mom's nearing the end
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  • SandysDaughter
    SandysDaughter Member Posts: 10
    edited July 2010

    I don't even know how to write this or what I'm trying to do here.  My mom, now 62, was diagnosed with breast cancer and had a mastectomy in 1992.  In 2003 we found out it was back in her bones. She'd been responding to her treatments since.  Just recently, February 2010, after a trip to the ER, we found out it has spread to her liver and there was a scary new lesion near her spine. They hit the new lesion with radiation, and she was  placed on Tykerb and Herceptin.  She had her first set of scans, in the spring and we got great news. The liver lesion had disappeared, the mets in her bone continued to stay put, and a lymph node near her lungs didn't look active anymore.  Today we got results for the most recent body scans and it's not as great. The liver tumor is back and the bone lesions are spreading.  She's having an x-ray on Monday to see if they are going to shrink any with radiation. She's now on Tykerb, and Navelbine.  First dose of Navelbine today.  She's not feeling great.  Everything I'm readying suggests we are in the last areas for treatment.  Does anyone have similar experience that can share a time line with me?  I know nothing is set in stone, be we have grandchildren we have to start preparing and I don't know when that should happen.  I will be speaking at length with her oncologist on Monday but I am curious if anyone has ideas or suggestions I should be exploring as well.  At this point, I'm open to anything.  It's a helpless feeling and mom and I are just pissed right now with this new diagnosis. That's the only way to explain us at this point and time. She has been through SO much and losing her within months is just not ok with any of us.

    Thank you for your time,

    Andrea (Sandy's Daughter) 

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  • Jenniferz
    Jenniferz Member Posts: 541
    edited July 2010

    If you post this in the Stage IV thread, those ladies may be able to help you. I don't know what you're reading, but if you're researching the Internet, please stop until you speak with your mom's onc. The information "out there" is sometimes inaccurate or not updated enough. I've seen quite a few changes in treatments and therapies in the few years I've been here.



    Hang tight. Someone will be along shortly with more answers for you.

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  • SandysDaughter
    SandysDaughter Member Posts: 10
    edited August 2010

    Jenniferz: Thank you very much. I will copy it over to that group. I appreciate the guidance!

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  • SandiesSoldier
    SandiesSoldier Member Posts: 20
    edited August 2010

    Andrea,

    I just changed my user name to what I tell my mother I am....Sandie's Soldier. If your mom has not been told there are no more options, than there is hope! My mom has been living with it in her liver for 2 and a half years. I am terrified too but the research with this particular kind of cancer is fast and furious and until someone tells us there is nothing else that can be done, there is hope! Our mom's situations seem very similar, including their names, and my mother's doctor told her just a few days ago he could come up with 6 - 8 treatment options right now!

    I know what you are going through! This SUCKS!! But people beat the odds and we have to believe that our moms might!

    Please let me know if you want to talk or just write to each other!

    My best to your mom!

    Courtney

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  • SandysDaughter
    SandysDaughter Member Posts: 10
    edited August 2010

    Hi Courtney: Thank you so much for responding.  I'm finding that just knowing others who are going through this helps a lot. Also, getting information from families helps me to roundout the picture. Her doctor is great but she's a doctor. I need details about the rest of the story. I would love to continue writintg.  I am interested in knowing more about your mom so I can understand the progression of the liver mets. When we found out it had gone to her liver I thought she was a goner. She continues to impress me with her fortitude and she has really horrible days. She's also got heart failure due to the chemo meds so that takes its toll tool.  Here's my gmail account:  makitoo@gmail.com.  Feel free to write me there.  Again I'm interested in how your mom is doing with her treatment after finding out about it had spread to her liver. 

    Fellow soldiers UNITE!

    Andrea 

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  • NatureGrrl
    NatureGrrl Member Posts: 1,367
    edited August 2010

    Andrea, on telling the grandchildren:  your oncologist will most likely know when to do something like call in hospice.  I don't say that because I believe your mom is at that point -- but because I think at that point, that will not only give you a clue about when to break things to the grandchildren, but hospice also will be an invaluable guide for helping you do so.  They are incredible people.  Until then, set that worry aside.

    My mom had ovarian, not breast, cancer (I got the BC), but FWIW, she was 86 when dx and told she only had months to live at two separate points in her journey through cancer.  She lived 3 more years, completely defying the odds.

    I think the message is, your mom has reason for hope, and can keep fighting! Others can give you more specific advice; I wish you and your mom and family strength, love, and many years left to enjoy those grandchildren!

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