I'm a mess!!

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Mom3
Mom3 Member Posts: 170
edited June 2014 in Stage III Breast Cancer
I'm a mess!!
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  • Mom3
    Mom3 Member Posts: 170
    edited August 2010

    Does anyone else feel a mess when a f/u rolls around? I have a 3 month f/u in 2 weeks and my stomach is already in knots, I have major insomnia issues, which I do anyway but they seems to get worse when I know I have to go in to see my onc. I am super moody and nervous and jumpy and sad and just a big ole' mess. In fact it's 2:23am and I'm up, typing, when I should be sleeping especially b/c I promised a friend I'd meet her at 6am to go on a 6 mile run. UGH!!!! Pls. tell me I'm not the only one who feels like a maniac when a f/u comes around and while you're at it pls. tell me how you deal.

     Thanks!!

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  • caaclark
    caaclark Member Posts: 936
    edited August 2010

    You are not the only one!  I think we all feel that way.  I see you were diagnosed a year after me so you probably thought you would be calm about followups by now.  So did I but I have one coming up at the end of Aug. and I can already feel the anxiety creeping up.  For me, I just try to keep busy leading up to the appointment and I also try to re-frame the experience.  Instead of thinking that I will get bad news I try to view it as a time when the docs are able to confirm that all is well.  The reframing does not always work for me-lol.

    Anyway-you are not alone.  That might not help you much but at least you know there are others who feel the same.

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  • Karen09
    Karen09 Member Posts: 320
    edited August 2010

    You aren't alone at all.  I have my first mammogram post-cancer booked for October and I'm already scared.  I hope we both get through our appointments in the clear this time!

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  • Bugs
    Bugs Member Posts: 1,719
    edited August 2010

    Completely normal!!  I think it takes years of good appts to ease our stress about these appts.  Even then, I can't see the stress completely going away.  Deep breath, distract yourself by keeping busy, retail therapy (my fave, lol).

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  • SpunkyGirl
    SpunkyGirl Member Posts: 1,568
    edited August 2010

    D,

    For the most part, I don't get a lot of anxiety at the time leading up to follow-ups.  I guess my attitude is that if there's something wrong, I'm probably going to know about it before they are.  I used to resent F/Us, because I just felt like they were always expecting something to be found, but then I realized that because I'm high-risk, they just want to make sure everything is okay.  I am so thankful for every "routine" check-up, and I hope for many, many more.  Keep yourself busy with other things as much as you can, and try to do something relaxing (like a periodic pedicure??), to take your mind off of it.  It does get better.

    Bobbie

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  • AsiaYM
    AsiaYM Member Posts: 2,216
    edited August 2010

    Everyone is nervous about check-up, not to mention who had cancer before.  But  I am so numbed after going so many doc office visits with my bc treatments before, I don't get anxious any more because I take SUDOKU game with me while I am waiting, I got to solve another puzzle!  Don't have time to think of anything else.

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  • Jane_M
    Jane_M Member Posts: 1,549
    edited August 2010

    I have my 2 year coming on on 8/13.  I am already convinced that I have osteonecrosis of the jaw from the Reclast and mets to the ribs on my radiated side because I have pain in the left rib area.  Oh, and I think I have skin cancer, too, on my back where the radiation came through because I have a raised, itchy patch there.  My doctor is going to think I'm nuts.

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  • ruthbru
    ruthbru Member Posts: 57,235
    edited August 2010

    Over three years out,and  when I even drive by the exit to my cancer center my stomach flips right over......and before rechecks Frown, I get my bloodwork two weeks ahead of time and from then until the checkup, forget it...can't sleep, snappy, racing heart etc. etc. My blood pressure (which is fine in real life) is always sky high when I'm in their office, and once I leave, after they tell me I'm fine; I burst into tears in the parking lot. So you are definitely NOT alone in your feelings. One thing I did that is helpful is that I got a prescription for sleeping pills, and I do take them and knock myself out each night before those appointments. It does help when you can sleep anyway! Hang in there! Ruth

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