I am terrified of chemotherapy

Gingersfavorite1...well, they say everyone goes through theses steps differently and I'm happy that your outlook is so bright, that your chemo round went well and you didn't suffer any serious SEs.

I now try to see that chemo is a positive thing, not a negative. But for at least 8 or 9 days after the infusions I am unable to do much but hang on the sofa due to the"'poorlies", as I call them. The longest lasting Se for me is the wobbly feeling. My head feels like a bobble-head doll looks. I am self employed and driving is part of the job. So that means I can't work unless I risk being pulled over for DUIC...driving under the influence of chemo.

Last time that feeling subsided about day 14 after the infusion. I'm hoping that I get at least one good week this go around so I can work a bit and go do the errands I need to get done before the next round begins.

All the best to you...keep up that can-do spirit, It's contagious. 

Badger, You made my day!  Hilarious!  Thanks for sharing. It's a good way to start the weekend...laugh, laugh, laugh!

Congratulations on making it through your last chemo. Onward and upward, right?

Hugs back.  Bon

OK, I'll bet you noticed the new photo.

I thought that Uncle Fester was perfect for my current bald status. On days when I'm feeling green around the gills from chemo, I'll be Shrek.

I've gotten through a lot of traumatic events with laughter. Why should this be any different?  Bon

Am having an allergic reaction to something. Started yesterday. No new meds and already 13 days post chemo so it's got to be something other than that. Big red blotches and 'stripes; all over. Just took benadryl. Will try process of elimination tomorrow.

Eileen, you are right. On another forum a gal named Meliss wrote to tell me that she had the same thing two weeks after a treatment. Her onc thought it couldn't be related to the Taxotere and when she had the next infusion they had to stop.  So  I Googled Taxotere side effects and low and behold, here is the section on rash. It says that it will usually occur between treatment. WOW, who would have thunk it?  I honesty wouldn't have associated it with the chemo at all.But below is the text right from the Taxotere insert:

Rash: This chemotherapy side effect is common, but rarely severe in people taking Taxotere^®. You may develop a rash that looks like a blotchy, hive-like reaction. This usually occurs on the hands and feet but also may appear on the arms, face or other areas of the body.

Generally a rash will appear between treatments and will go away before your next Taxotere^® treatment. Inform your doctor or nurse if you experience a rash because he or she may be able to help you get relief.

I will call my onc in the AM.  And take another benadryl now.  Thanks.  Bon 

Lili46, The itch is maddening! Last night I did take two Benadryl, a total of 50mg, and spread on Hydrocortisone cream.  It took until after 2AM for the itch to subside enough for me to fall asleep. I got up at 7 and all but one blotch was gone. Now, just after 7:30, my hands are brick red and the blotches are climbing up my back! Already took another 50mg of Benadryl and will phone onc's office at 8:30 when they open.

I'm so glad I wrote about this and that someone recognized it was the Taxotere. I never would have put it together. I read the literature but just didn't pay attention to that part. Shows how much I absorbed, right? Unfortunately, when faced with chemo, there are so many SEs to deal with that I just shut down the thinking process and went forward. And what else can you do? I keep telling myself Chemo is my friend. Chemo is my friend. Chemo is my friend.

Gingersfavorite1...Hooray for you! Glad you made it through round 2 without much hassle.  Hope the SEs stay away.

After a full day of prednisone most of the rash has subsided. I only have a few red strips running up my arms and a couple going horizontally across my back. This actually terrifies me. I am concerned that I'll have a terrible reaction to the Taxotere on infusion day. The literature says rash is common and serious in 5% of cases. All you had to do was look at mo on day 3 of the rash to know that this was serious.

So, after beginning to feel confident that I would make it through the chemo in one piece, I'm feeling pretty shattered by this.

I phoned the manufacture of Taxotere, Sanofi-Aventis, in Bridgewater, NJ and spoke to a pharmacist in the medical information department. She is going to email to me trial and product info that is different from the 70 pages the oncs get in their prescribing documentation. And she is sending my 'case' up to the next level for review since this is possibly one of the 5% of rashes considered severe.  

And although we knew it already, the answer, straight from the manufacturer, was that 'between treatments' does not limit the reaction to 2 or 3 days after the infusion. 13 days is still considered between treatments. They used the language 'between treatments' to cover the wide span of onset of a rash. So there! My onc is going to get an earful.

Once I read the rest of the stuff she emails me, I'll decide how to approach the onc about the  Taxotere infusion scheduled for next Wednesday.

sohardbnme, Yes, unfortunately we've all wondered if this is just a bad dream and hope to wake up just before the infusion starts. It is scary stuff and you have every reason to be frightened. As you read this forum, you see that I was terrified and still am pretty uneasy about chemotherapy. But I wasn't thrilled with the surgery and won't be crazy about the radiation part, either. None of this is easy and it's all scary as can be.  BUT...you CAN do this, just as I'm doing it and countless women before us have done. Sadly there will be zillions after us, too.

This is doable and survivable and your fight against cancer is winnable. Please remember that...the goal is to be cancer free. It's not an easy route to get there, but not much in life worth having is just handed to us, right?  Imagine your life ahead, cancer free.  That's the positive image to keep in your mind as you go forward. Please stay positive...be that Little Engine that Could.  "I think I can, I think I can...I know I can."

I wish I was there to give you a hug and help you move on toward the start and finish...you have to start for it to be over, right?

Try to rest up. DRINK plenty of water or whatever will keep you hydrated. And I mean HYDRATED.  Do not under estimate the need to drink lots before, during and after the infusions. This last time I drank 2 quarts (64 oz) of liquid a day for 12 days and it helped to keep the side effects down. You have to flush the chemo out of your system. PLEASE drink water.

And remember my motto, first uttered here by Jayne...You don't have to be brave, you just have to show up.

Hugs to you...Bon

OK, so now I'm freaked about this new targeted chemotherapy I'm getting a small sampling of. I am on the regimen designed for my tumor type, ER and PR negative and HER2 positive.This chemo should keep that type of cancer from reappearing for at least a while. But I can get a totally different tumor type that is ER and PR positive. It can just sneak up and grab me. UGH!!! This is maddening. All this and still no REAL guarantees of being cancer free.

I hate cancer. I hate having it. I hate dealing with it. I hate that it's out there and so many people have to suffer through it.  I hate it, hate it, hate it.